Fae_the_'briggs Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Upgrading and straightening of the countries road network means that the distance from John O'Groats to Lands End is being reduced by an average of 0.5 miles (0.8 KM) every three years. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 The singer Joss Stone was named after her grandfather, the actor Joss Ackland. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Few details now remain about the life of British thespian Joss Ackland, other than his relationship to hat model Joss Stone, and the scandalous postmortem discovery that his trademark backpack was (Howard Hughes style) filled with vials of his own seminal fluid. Rumours persist that starfleet captain Joss Whedon was the product of artificial insemination involving one of Ackland's gooey vials, although Whedon himself has attempted to combat them by travelling back in time and creating a career for himself that started far before the actor's death. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 All electrical toasters have exactly 30 mechanical parts, this is the same number of slices in your average medium sliced loaf. Sheridan Smith has nothing to do with Nazi Germay desite her initials. Also since 2011 she insists that all her dramatical characters must have the surname Smith, or at the very least the characters maiden name must be Smith. She is not related to Tommy Sheridan. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 (edited) Comedian Joe Pasquale is an accomplished chess player and held the title of Greater London Chess Champion for five years in a row until going full time as an entertainer. He still plays in Challenge matches against the top chess players in towns he is appearing at. He was also a founder member of the exclusive Entertainer's Chess Club which unfortunately folded following the deaths of Roy Castle and Steve McQueen, Jonathan King's fall from grace and John Bishop's alleged unsporting behaviour of spitting every time he got beat. ETA: Gladys Knight was an honorary member but didn't attend many matches as the other members often tried to get near her pips. Edited September 20, 2015 by Fae_the_'briggs 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Wednesday's used to happen before Tuesday's in parts of Switzerland 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pittsburgh phil Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 All round entertainer and grannies' favourite John Barrowman invented an early prototype of the GoPro, which he called the Float-O-Vator. His idea was to have a Saturday evening show to be called 'John Barrowman's Love From Above' where he would use it to drop little gift parcels on unsung heroes of the community (including a small medal and a copy of his latest CD) before interviewing them and ending each show with a song and dance routine. He abandoned this idea when he lost control of his drone and crashed it into a children's gala day, damaging a bouncy castle, starting a fire, and partially decapitating a passing clown with the resulting debris ricochet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 John Barrowman has spoken with an American accent since he suffered brain damage brought on during a sneezing fit in Primary 1. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 In some villages in Nepal it is the custom for couples to call their first-born child by the first name of the mother irrespective of it being a boy or girl. Actors Stacy Keach, John Wayne ( real name Marion Morrison) and wrestler Big Daddy (Shirley Crabtree) were named this way in recognition of their families' Nepalese ancestry. The kd Lang Wildlife Park in North America only has one type of indigenous creature in captivity and only allows female members of staff to tend to them. This follows research that suggests that the females' treatment of the beaver is gentler and more considerate than the rough handling often demonstrated by men. Some beavers even refused to let a male member near them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Countdown's Rachel Riley and Australian singer/actress Holly Vallance are distant relations. There are actually no Iceland stores in Iceland but there are five Farmfood stores on the Island. The David Soul hit, Silver Lady, was adopted as the National Anthem for the Pacific Island of Etish-o-Daol, which translated loosely from the Maori means Old Grey Woman. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Erstwhile entertainer Noel Edmonds is allergic to vinyl, that's why he had to give up his very successful career has a disc jockey & concentrate on third rate daytime tv game shows. Radio 1's loss was Deal or No Deals gain. He did try medication to cure his vinyl allergy but only crack cocaine seemed to have any noticeable results. Unfortunately the down side to cc was that he invented Mr Blobby. Thankfully he is no longer on medication & Mr Blobby has returned to Noel's innermost compartments. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Popular racist and MP Dianne Abbott collects South American shrunken heads. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Popular racist and MP Dianne Abbott collects South American shrunken heads. Is that what she called Corbyn's cock? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Is that what she called Corbyn's cock? Come on Archer, you know the drill. This is not fiction you made up nor question time. In the corner, hands on head & don't speak for 15 mins. Zen Archer once applied to go on mastermind but turned up in a chef's hat & pinny he thought it was masterbake by mistake. The confusion was put down to an over-zealous childhood habit that he practiced alone & may have made him slightly hard of hearing. The rumours about hairy palms were unfounded. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Alex Salmonds testicles are made of pure fat. The lengths that some people will go to in the name of investigative journalism. Scotland salutes you, sir. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 P&b regular grim o' Grady gets a free fish supper every night if he signs off every post with "grimbo". Philpo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Lawnmowers are deliberately loud to cover up the sound of the grass screaming. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Television newsreader James Mates is the heir to the Mates condom empire. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 P&b regular grim o' Grady gets a free fish supper every night if he signs off every post with "grimbo". Philpo. Wait, I thought he got a free biscuit from your wife every time he fu... Shit, forgot I wasn't to mention that 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Wait, I thought he got a free biscuit from your wife every time he fu... Shit, forgot I wasn't to mention that What with all these fish suppers (salt n sauce extra) & the 2 packets of biscuits each week off Philpsy you'd have thought I'd be a right fat c**t. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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