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Facts you made up


Mak

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Russia has a much higher than average percentage of good looking young women, mainly because at the end of WWII, there were relatively few Russian men who returned alive and therefore it was only the prettiest of women who got knocked up.

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After surviving being struck by lightning sixteen times between 1952 and 1959, storm-chaser Danny La Rue hung up his spurs and went indoors to develop a showbiz career that lasted until 1999 when he was electrocuted by a two-bar electric fire in a Merseyside meth den. Danny, now 81, has since been responsible for an 86% decline in world Electric Eel and Electric Ray populations.

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The world record for the greatest number of marbles introduced into the rectal passage stands at an eyewatering 327. The feat was accomplished by Rick Samsonite of Halifax, West Yorkshire, during rehearsals for Channel Four's 'The Word' programme in 1993.

Sadly, the record-breaking attempt was never broadcast, as Mr Samsonite broke wind whilst trying to insert the 328th marble and the resultant explosion of shrapnel badly injured three members of the studio staff.

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  • 7 months later...

Traffic cones were originally invented in Germany as cone-shaped so that rural German police could use them in emergencies to draw circles, as you would with a drafting compass, around roadkill deer and bears.

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Scotland's King John (Balliol) gave Dundee it's current name when declaring it a royal burgh upon his coronation in 1292, accidentally thinking that the river there was the Dee instead of the Tay. In fear of potentially offending the new king from Galloway who had never visited Dundee at the time, nobody dared to mention the error before the official documents were signed.

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Russia has a much higher than average percentage of good looking young women, mainly because at the end of WWII, there were relatively few Russian men who returned alive and therefore it was only the prettiest of women who got knocked up.

This is fucking genius, and I'm not ashamed to say I've used it myself a good few times since reading it on here.
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