Shandon Par Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 A very Dundee criminal. Arrested shoplifting sausage rolls from Greggs whilst still in possession of a wad of cash he'd stolen from a restaurant the previous evening. https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/dundee/382590/silly-sausage-man-charged-restaurant-raid-pinching-greggs-sausage-rolls/ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 9 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Bit of a craggy face now but I reckon Zelda would've been utter filth in her younger days. But did she dress up as a 10-year-old schoolboy? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Master Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 DUNDEE RESTAURANT OWNER’S RELIEF AS THIEF IS RUMBLED STEALING BAGUETTE FROM GREGGS https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/fp/dundee-restaurant-owners-relief-thief-rumbled-stealing-baguette-greggs/ The obligatory final bit that sums up the court proceedings: Quote Mitchell admitted breaking into Wee Mexico, Nethergate, on March 6 and stealing items. He also admitted entering two cars on Bellisle Drive and stealing items from both of them. What about the fucking baguette?! I need to know! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 On 10/03/2017 at 13:02, Shandon Par said: A very Dundee criminal. Arrested shoplifting sausage rolls from Greggs whilst still in possession of a wad of cash he'd stolen from a restaurant the previous evening. https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/dundee/382590/silly-sausage-man-charged-restaurant-raid-pinching-greggs-sausage-rolls/ I'd have to be emaciated or out my fucking box to eat a sausage roll from Greggs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Master Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 On 10/03/2017 at 13:02, Shandon Par said: A very Dundee criminal. Arrested shoplifting sausage rolls from Greggs whilst still in possession of a wad of cash he'd stolen from a restaurant the previous evening. https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/dundee/382590/silly-sausage-man-charged-restaurant-raid-pinching-greggs-sausage-rolls/ Oops, sorry - looks like I've duplicated your "scoop". Although it would have helped if the two DC Thomson publications could have agreed on precisely what was stolen from Greggs - Courier says sausage rolls; Tele says baguette. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 On 3/10/2017 at 13:02, Shandon Par said: A very Dundee criminal. Arrested shoplifting sausage rolls from Greggs whilst still in possession of a wad of cash he'd stolen from a restaurant the previous evening. https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/dundee/382590/silly-sausage-man-charged-restaurant-raid-pinching-greggs-sausage-rolls/ It's not just Dundee. Britain is suffering from a sausage roll crimewave. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 Why on Earth do these imbeciles steal utter s***e? If you're not paying and price won't be an issue as a result, why go for the cheapest possible dross from the likes of Greggs, Primark etc? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieStevenson Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 http://www.dunfermlinepress.com/news/15150736.Drunken_youths_urinate_on_poppy_wreaths_at_Dunfermline_war_memorial_and_use_cars__as_trampolines_/?ref=mr&lp=1 Fucking hell. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieStevenson Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 http://www.dunfermlinepress.com/news/15145708.Police_called_to_Dunfermline_High_School_after_reports_of__armed__Woodmill_High_pupils_looking_for_a_fight/ Dunfermline is a warzone. Parents have lost complete control of the youth today. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 8 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: It's not just Dundee. Britain is suffering from a sausage roll crimewave. The tragedy of modern sub-editors IMO. When I learned English "Man paid for just two sausage rolls" meant something different to, "Man just paid for two sausage rolls". Got to go. Have to help my uncle jack off a horse. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 The tragedy of modern sub-editors IMO. When I learned English "Man paid for just two sausage rolls" meant something different to, "Man just paid for two sausage rolls". Got to go. Have to help my uncle jack off a horse. I think you have stumbled on the reason this subeditor's career trajectory has seen him dealing with stories about Sausage Rolls 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 http://www.dunfermlinepress.com/news/15145708.Police_called_to_Dunfermline_High_School_after_reports_of__armed__Woodmill_High_pupils_looking_for_a_fight/ Dunfermline is a warzone. Parents have lost complete control of the youth today. Tbf, Dumbf**k High vs Woodmill has always had these fights, at least since the mid 70s anyway. You're talking about a place where the high schools all need different lunch hours to avoid daily rumbles in town. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieStevenson Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 Taking knives into opposing schools was not fair game back in my day anyway. Our lot usually had beef with Queen Anne if anything whilst Woodmill were busy worrying about their pals across the road. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 1 minute ago, JamieStevenson said: Our lot usually had beef with Queen Anne if anything whilst Woodmill were busy worrying about their pals across the road. Respect to your carpentry-loving pals. Queen Anne's chair legs were utter shite: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 (edited) Fears that the beast of Bettyhill may be on prowl again You never know what to expect with these sort of headlines. Also, from the Buchan Observer: Edited March 13, 2017 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieStevenson Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 http://www.dunfermlinepress.com/news/15155555.Dunfermline_plagued_by_neo_Nazi_posters/ Mad ting bruv. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 http://www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/sparks-fly-as-penis-ring-cut-off-with-angle-grinder-445333.html 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 15 minutes ago, Stu said: http://www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/sparks-fly-as-penis-ring-cut-off-with-angle-grinder-445333.html I read it as "penis cut off with angle grinder". Cock ring not so bad. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 11 minutes ago, Stu said: http://www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/sparks-fly-as-penis-ring-cut-off-with-angle-grinder-445333.html I can just imagine them telling him the plan after scratching their heads for ages: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eednud Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 Confessions of a pussy filler. http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/only-in-the-territory/pussy-stuffer-pleads-guilty/news-story/80f82cbae78dd2a481820c5c2568ba8c?login=1 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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