Banterous Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I don't really understand why people respond to Banterous when they are quite clearly a troll. People even get drawn in by the usual "so anyone that disagrees is a troll?" bullshit that they usually post to keep it going as well. Responded in another thread. You should really stick to films and attempting to sound learned rather than the poisonous wee digs you make Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Alex salmond walks into a royal bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says "good morning ma'am, could you please cash this cheque for me ?". Cashier " it would be my pleasure sir, could you please show me your id" Salmond "truthfully,I did not bring my id with me, as I didn't think there was any need too. I am Alex salmond, the leader of the Scottish national party and first minister of Scotland !!!" Cashier "yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of imposters and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc, I must insist on id. Salmond " just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everyone knows who I am". Cashier "I'm sorry Mr salmond but these are bank rules and we have to follow them". Salmond "cmon lassie. I am urging you, please, cash the cheque" Cashier "look Mr salmond, here's an example of what we can do. One day, tiger woods came into the bank without id. To prove he was tiger woods he pulled out a putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew it was tiger woods and cashed the cheque. Another time Andre agassi came in without id,he pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in the cup. With that shot, we cashed his cheque. So Mr salmond, what can you do to prove its you and only you ?" Salmond stands there thinking and thinking and finally says "honestly, my mind is a total blank... There is nothing that comes to mind, I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and u don't have a clue" Cashier "will that be small or large notes, Mr salmond ??" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banterous Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Alex salmond walks into a royal bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says "good morning ma'am, could you please cash this cheque for me ?". Cashier " it would be my pleasure sir, could you please show me your id" Salmond "truthfully,I did not bring my id with me, as I didn't think there was any need too. I am Alex salmond, the leader of the Scottish national party and first minister of Scotland !!!" Cashier "yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of imposters and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc, I must insist on id. Salmond " just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everyone knows who I am". Cashier "I'm sorry Mr salmond but these are bank rules and we have to follow them". Salmond "cmon lassie. I am urging you, please, cash the cheque" Cashier "look Mr salmond, here's an example of what we can do. One day, tiger woods came into the bank without id. To prove he was tiger woods he pulled out a putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew it was tiger woods and cashed the cheque. Another time Andre agassi came in without id,he pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in the cup. With that shot, we cashed his cheque. So Mr salmond, what can you do to prove its you and only you ?" Salmond stands there thinking and thinking and finally says "honestly, my mind is a total blank... There is nothing that comes to mind, I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and u don't have a clue" Cashier "will that be small or large notes, Mr salmond ??" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludo*1 Posted October 5, 2014 Author Share Posted October 5, 2014 Alex salmond walks into a royal bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says "good morning ma'am, could you please cash this cheque for me ?". Cashier " it would be my pleasure sir, could you please show me your id" Salmond "truthfully,I did not bring my id with me, as I didn't think there was any need too. I am Alex salmond, the leader of the Scottish national party and first minister of Scotland !!!" Cashier "yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of imposters and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc, I must insist on id. Salmond " just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everyone knows who I am". Cashier "I'm sorry Mr salmond but these are bank rules and we have to follow them". Salmond "cmon lassie. I am urging you, please, cash the cheque" Cashier "look Mr salmond, here's an example of what we can do. One day, tiger woods came into the bank without id. To prove he was tiger woods he pulled out a putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew it was tiger woods and cashed the cheque. Another time Andre agassi came in without id,he pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in the cup. With that shot, we cashed his cheque. So Mr salmond, what can you do to prove its you and only you ?" Salmond stands there thinking and thinking and finally says "honestly, my mind is a total blank... There is nothing that comes to mind, I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and u don't have a clue" Cashier "will that be small or large notes, Mr salmond ??" What is this shite?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 heedthebaa walks into a royal bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says "good morning ma'am, could you please cash this cheque for me ?". Cashier " it would be my pleasure sir, could you please show me your id"heedthebaa "Yes"Cashier "will that be small or large notes, heedthebaa" ^ ^ ^ Just as funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confidemus Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Alex salmond walks into a royal bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says "good morning ma'am, could you please cash this cheque for me ?". Cashier " it would be my pleasure sir, could you please show me your id" Salmond "truthfully,I did not bring my id with me, as I didn't think there was any need too. I am Alex salmond, the leader of the Scottish national party and first minister of Scotland !!!" Cashier "yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of imposters and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc, I must insist on id. Salmond " just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everyone knows who I am". Cashier "I'm sorry Mr salmond but these are bank rules and we have to follow them". Salmond "cmon lassie. I am urging you, please, cash the cheque" Cashier "look Mr salmond, here's an example of what we can do. One day, tiger woods came into the bank without id. To prove he was tiger woods he pulled out a putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew it was tiger woods and cashed the cheque. Another time Andre agassi came in without id,he pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in the cup. With that shot, we cashed his cheque. So Mr salmond, what can you do to prove its you and only you ?" Salmond stands there thinking and thinking and finally says "honestly, my mind is a total blank... There is nothing that comes to mind, I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and u don't have a clue" Cashier "will that be small or large notes, Mr salmond ??" When I was 8, I broke my arm in two places. I found that whole experience funnier than the above shite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banterous Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Proves that the Yes voting posters on here have no sense of humour and can't laugh at a man who is the laughing stock of the UK (Scotland included ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Proves that the Yes voting posters on here have no sense of humour and can't laugh at a man who is the laughing stock of the UK (Scotland included ) Well that just isn't true i was laughing at Gordon Brown not 20 mins ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QPSAFalkirkFirm Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 wife Nurse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banterous Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Well that just isn't true i was laughing at Gordon Brown not 20 mins ago I was talking about Alex Salmond. Gordon Brown is a c**t too but he didn't book buses and organise victory parades for something that he lost and then behave like a surly teenager since his humiliating capitulation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QPSAFalkirkFirm Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I was talking about Alex Salmond. Gordon Brown is a c**t too but he didn't book buses and organise victory parades for something that he lost and then behave like a surly teenager since his humiliating capitulation. Any evidence of that? Brown's current activities from The Office of..... Recent articles and media appearances We must ensure that schools are never targeted in armed conflict – Gordon Brown writes about Gaza in The Guardian Linking together the fight for girls’ rights – Gordon Brown writes in the Washington Post The haunting faces of Nigerian schoolgirl hostages the world has forgotten – Gordon Brown writes about the captive girls of Chibok in the Daily Mail Gordon Brown appears on Good Morning Britain to talk about the kidnapped girls of Chibok and the Safe Schools Initiative Gordon Brown speaks to CNN’s Andrea Mitchell on the campaign to bring back the kidnapped Nigerian schoolgirls A brilliant scheme for making sure Syria’s child refugees get an education – Gordon Brown writes about the Syrian education plan in The Guardian Gordon Brown appears on BBC News speaking about the plan to get Syrian refugees in Lebanon into school - See more at: http://gordonandsarahbrown.com/gordon-brown/#sthash.1Qk9QFCI.dpuf Totally focussed on keeping Cameron to his word. Aye right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 heedthebaa walks into a royal bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says "good morning ma'am, could you please cash this cheque for me ?". Cashier " it would be my pleasure sir, could you please show me your id" heedthebaa "Yes" Cashier "will that be small or large notes, heedthebaa" ^ ^ ^ Just as funny does Ken Dodd know where you are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludo*1 Posted October 5, 2014 Author Share Posted October 5, 2014 does Ken Dodd know where you are Ken Dodd's a class comedian. f**k knows where you get your banter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Ken Dodd's a class comedian. f**k knows where you get your banter.lol do you want me to drawer a picture snookums ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taza Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Proves that the Yes voting posters on here have no sense of humour and can't laugh at a man who is the laughing stock of the UK (Scotland included ) Tell you what made me laugh. Last night, as I approached my local bar, a group of youths were arguing outside with the usual insults being exchanged, when one of them uttered the phrase ''Ya NO VOTER ye!'' This appeared to be the final and most effective insult, as without further verbal response, other than the cry of ''Whit?'' the insulted party lamped his abuser. I'm still chuckling at it today. The phrase No Voter seems to have entered 'Youthspeak' as a vile insult. Fucking brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AberdeenBud Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Can folk stop quoting the tedious cretin please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Had a mild titter at this.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taza Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Can folk stop quoting the tedious cretin please? Fine idea, after-all he's just a daft No Voter One day soon, I'm sure Div will put the phrase into the swear censor. 'N* V**er' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banterous Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Tell you what made me laugh. Last night, as I approached my local bar, a group of youths were arguing outside with the usual insults being exchanged, when one of them uttered the phrase ''Ya NO VOTER ye!'' This appeared to be the final and most effective insult, as without further verbal response, other than the cry of ''Whit?'' the insulted party lamped his abuser. I'm still chuckling at it today. The phrase No Voter seems to have entered 'Youthspeak' as a vile insult. Fucking brilliant ^^ Didn't happen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MangoBroccoli Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 It's amazing that someone can be so awe-inspiring in his projection of a better future but also eminently capable of vicious putdowns of sycophantic idiots. Great politician, terrific thread (if it stays on track) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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