Dee Man Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 My questions seemed different. Apparently I'm Tyler Durden even if I don't know how to change the oil in my car. The first rule of fight club is don't put a fully synthetic 5W-20 in your old 02 Fiesta. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 1. His wedding anniversary date - Yes2. Basic DIY - How 'basic' are we talking here?3. How to change a light bulb - Yes4. How to tie up a tie - Yes. As does anyone who has ever worked in an office.5. How to read a map - Yes6. His partner's favourite drink - Yes. How many drinks do you have to buy someone before you figure this out?7. How to iron a shirt - Yes8. How to change a tyre - Yes9. How to wet shave correctly - Yes10. The right amount of aftershave to use - I suppose so. Nobody has ever told me otherwise.11. How to change a fuse - Yes12. When a woman says "I'm fine" she is not fine - This could be translated to "Has ever interacted with a woman"13. How to put up a shelf - Yes14. How to polish his shoes - Yes15. How to give a confident handshake - Yes16. How many inches are in a foot - Seriously? Having graduated infant school, yes.17. When to accept defeat and apologise - Married for almost 22 years. Of course.18. Know the offside rule - Yes19. The year England won the World Cup - Gosh, if only this had been mentioned in the media before.20. How to do his own laundry - Yes21. How to fix a bike puncture - Yes22. How to jumpstart a car - Yes23. How to parallel park - Yes24. The difference between ale and lager - Yes25. The best way to carve meat - Yes26. His own height - Are you telling me there are adults who don't know this?27. How to drive in snow - Yes28. What wires represent earth, live and neutral - Wiring is different here and plugs are part of the flex so I'd have to look this up. But I know how to use Google.29. How to introduce himself - Yes30. His parents' address - Yes, I know where my parents live. Fuxxake.31. What the football scores were at the weekend - What? All of them?32. How to light a BBQ - Yes33. When a woman says "Do what you want" do not do what you want - Again, yes, I have met a woman before.34. How to change oil - Yes. Assuming this is the oil in a car.35. What the biggest recent football transfers are - Not really, no. I can live with that.36. How to build a fire - Yes37. Which way is North - Yes38. How to use the contents of the toolbox - Yes. At least, in theory.39. How to tune in a telly - Televisions still have to be tuned in? The last one I bought, I just had to connect the colour coded cables and switch it on.40. How many miles are left after the petrol light appears - Yes41. How to fix a toilet - Well, this really depends upon what's wrong with it. But yes, I have fixed toilets.42. How to put someone in a recovery position - Yes43. His personal alcohol limits - Yes, although I don't always stay within them.44. Change a battery on a car - Yes45. How to get a car unstuck - Unstuck from...?46. The words to the national anthem - Meh47. How to change a nappy - Never have and I plan to keep it that way. But I'm sure I could figure it out if for some unimaginable reason I had to.48. How to perform CPR - Yes49. How to put up a tent - Yes50. Who are favourites to win the Premier League - I'm going to go with Celtic but it's not a lock at this point. A rather odd list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 I cannot do up a tie therefor i am not a man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pars fan Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 A 'real man' wouldn't stop to be interviewed by a researcher. So the list is null and void. Yer right about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spain Posted February 14, 2015 Author Share Posted February 14, 2015 I think Bobby's is probably the best and most accurate answer so far. I've often wondered how and why people get jobs coming up with this nonsense though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pars fan Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 I think Bobby's is probably the best and most accurate answer so far. I've often wondered how and why people get jobs coming up with this nonsense though. It's only ladies and non - real men who do these jobs. Imo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 I should probably go and bat for the other side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Went through this wi the missus present. We were due to get married this year and, I'm ashamed to say, I got question 1 wrong. On the upside, I've managed to get out of prior engagement tonight and I'm going out for pints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booker-T Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 So William Hill have come up with a supposed list of things that all men should know. Here's the Telegraphs bit on it: it seems what i thought was my cock and balls was just a giant clitoris. can't seem to find my vagina though.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 it seems what i thought was my cock and balls was just a giant clitoris. can't seem to find my vagina though.......... It'll have a Celtic scarf around it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booker-T Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 It'll have a Celtic scarf around it. around it? guess you've never seen a vagina then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 around it? guess you've never seen a vagina then Maybe so but I'm guessing he's seen his fair share of twats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Hmm - I'm okay with most of it, but there's lot of driving related stuff which I fail on as I don't drive. Purposely never learnt as I spent my formative years travelling the country playing in bands, and didn't want to be the poor b*****d driving back from Invernaewhere at 2am. The wedding anniversary one's a sticking point too. We got married abroad, so the date changed about four or five times before it happened due to residency qualifications and so on, with the result that neither of us can ever remember it - she got the MONTH wrong last year! As a result, we just celebrate the anniversary of the day we met instead, which is an easy one to remember - April Fools Day... Couldn't fix a toilet either, though I'm alright at blocking them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Hmm - I'm okay with most of it, but there's lot of driving related stuff which I fail on as I don't drive. Purposely never learnt as I spent my formative years travelling the country playing in bands, and didn't want to be the poor b*****d driving back from Invernaewhere at 2am. The wedding anniversary one's a sticking point too. We got married abroad, so the date changed about four or five times before it happened due to residency qualifications and so on, with the result that neither of us can ever remember it - she got the MONTH wrong last year! As a result, we just celebrate the anniversary of the day we met instead, which is an easy one to remember - April Fools Day... Couldn't fix a toilet either, though I'm alright at blocking them. Fix a toilet could be a multitude of things. I can break a stubborn shite up with a wire coat hanger, does that count? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Fix a toilet could be a multitude of things. I can break a stubborn shite up with a wire coat hanger, does that count? I usually put my heel on it and stand up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Fix a toilet could be a multitude of things. I can break a stubborn shite up with a wire coat hanger, does that count? Makes you more of a man in my book than if you were able to put up a tent. I also assume they were meaning the correct way to introduce yourself is in burp talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bF_iiX1HepM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BissigWelpen Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 I'm light on my loafers. Does that count? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 What a load of shite. Awful, sexist, 'laddish' bullshit. According to this list if you took away cars, football, television and crass and stereotypical views of women you are not a real man. It's almost as if some wanky focus group brain stormed and thought "What kind of things will the knuckle dragging, low class, degenerate scum that frequent our betting shops like? I know cars, football, television and crass, stereotypical views of women". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 According to this list if you took away cars, football, television and crass and stereotypical views of women you are not a real man. It's almost as if some wanky focus group brain stormed and thought "What kind of things will the knuckle dragging, low class, degenerate scum that frequent our betting shops like? I know cars, football, television and crass, stereotypical views of women". ^^^^^Got-them-all-wrong-type-post, IMHO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.