SlipperyP Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 When they doing the "real woman" survey? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamdunk Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Doesn't have fray bentos pies on the list. Their adverts make it perfectly clear eating anything other than their soggy slop out a tin means you have a vagina. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 1. Are you emotionally unstable? 2. Are you a bit mental? 3. Erm, that's it You forgot "Are you never wrong?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blanco Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 According to this list if you took away cars, football, television and crass and stereotypical views of women you are not a real man. It's almost as if some wanky focus group brain stormed and thought "What kind of things will the knuckle dragging, low class, degenerate scum that frequent our betting shops like? I know cars, football, television and crass, stereotypical views of women". ^^^ Rides a bicycle to work and pees sitting down type post ^^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suspect Device Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 1. Are you emotionally unstable? 2. Are you a bit mental? 3. Erm, that's it 4. Did you send your life looking for Mr Right so that you could spend the rest of your life together telling him he's wrong. Edit: I got all 50 but that just makes me a knuckle-dragger apparently. And a real man would know you get better odds with Bet365. As far as cars go, I should get extra points for stripping down an engine getting it re-bored and putting it back together and it working. Also managed to change brakes and clutch when I was too tight to get a mechanic to do that kind of shite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 I'm not sure about these questions but I often bottle my feelings up until they explode in alcoholic violence and self-destruction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 A real man knows the difference between changing a tyre and changing a wheel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 Not sure i know about wiring a plug and definitely don't know how to change a nappy but yes to everything else i would say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 Nothing to do with being a real man (or woman for that matter) but if you drive a car and don't know how to change a flat tyre, then you should have your license taken away from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonksy+HisChristianParade Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 I just take my car to the garage along the road and they do it for free in about 5 minutes when it would take me considerably longer. Sensible and efficient. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 I just take my car to the garage along the road and they do it for free in about 5 minutes when it would take me considerably longer. Sensible and efficient. You actually drive with a flat tyre? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonksy+HisChristianParade Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 You actually drive with a flat tyre? Slow puncture, 2 minutes along the road - yes I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 Nothing to do with being a real man (or woman for that matter) but if you drive a car and don't know how to change a flat tyre, then you should have your license taken away from you. Totally agree. Also a woman I work with tried to top up her a engine oil by pouring it in the dipstick hole and my wife's responsibility for her car ends at the steering wheel. She won't / can't / doesn't want to even be shown how to top up her screen wash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 No. Oh you've got a list of entirely arbitrary criteria, okay, let's have a look. 1. His wedding anniversary date - don't have one 2. Basic DIY - I got a 2 in Standard Grade Craft & Design 3. How to change a light bulb - yes 4. How to tie up a tie - yes 5. How to read a map - yes 6. His partner's favourite drink - I don't have a partner 7. How to iron a shirt - yes 8. How to change a tyre - I don't drive 9. How to wet shave correctly - I shave and the hair goes away, I'll assume yes 10. The right amount of aftershave to use - I don't wear aftershave, so "none," so yes 11. How to change a fuse - yes 12. When a woman says "I'm fine" she is not fine - I am capable of conversation with other humans, yes 13. How to put up a shelf - no 14. How to polish his shoes - yes 15. How to give a confident handshake - I have never been complimented on my handshake, so I've no idea 16. How many inches are in a foot - twelve 17. When to accept defeat and apologise - I am capable of conversation with other humans, yes 18. Know the offside rule - yes 19. The year England won the World Cup - erm 20. How to do his own laundry - yes 21. How to fix a bike puncture - I can't ride a bike 22. How to jumpstart a car - I don't drive 23. How to parallel park - I don't drive 24. The difference between ale and lager - it all tastes like shite 25. The best way to carve meat - the meat I eat is pre-carved 26. His own height - yes 27. How to drive in snow - I don't drive 28. What wires represent earth, live and neutral - it says so on the plug label, so yes 29. How to introduce himself - I am capable of conversation with other humans, yes 30. His parents' address - yes 31. What the football scores were at the weekend - I suppose so 32. How to light a BBQ - I've seen Homer Simpson do it, so yes 33. When a woman says "Do what you want" do not do what you want - this isn't a skill 34. How to change oil - I DON'T FUCKING DRIVE 35. What the biggest recent football transfers are - I suppose so 36. How to build a fire - get stuff that burns, get a match 37. Which way is North - up 38. How to use the contents of the toolbox - yes 39. How to tune in a telly - you don't tune in tellys anymore 40. How many miles are left after the petrol light appears - I don't drive 41. How to fix a toilet - no 42. How to put someone in a recovery position - yes 43. His personal alcohol limits - yes 44. Change a battery on a car - f**k off 45. How to get a car unstuck - push it, I'd imagine 46. The words to the national anthem - I know the words to my regional anthem, if that counts 47. How to change a nappy - no 48. How to perform CPR - I've seen the Vinnie Jones advert, I'll go yes 49. How to put up a tent - yes 50. Who are favourites to win the Premier League - yes So, assuming that questions that don't apply to me are no anyway because I am not enough of a man to drive or maintain a (-n apparently kowtowed) relationship with a woman, I have... 34/50. Then again, I suppose what marks me as more of a reasonable human being is to groan and roll my eyes at pish like this not living my life as if I'm some hideous and warped caricature of a functional human capable of thinking and talking to people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 No. Oh you've got a list of entirely arbitrary criteria, okay, let's have a look. 1. His wedding anniversary date - don't have one 2. Basic DIY - I got a 2 in Standard Grade Craft & Design 3. How to change a light bulb - yes 4. How to tie up a tie - yes 5. How to read a map - yes 6. His partner's favourite drink - I don't have a partner 7. How to iron a shirt - yes 8. How to change a tyre - I don't drive 9. How to wet shave correctly - I shave and the hair goes away, I'll assume yes 10. The right amount of aftershave to use - I don't wear aftershave, so "none," so yes 11. How to change a fuse - yes 12. When a woman says "I'm fine" she is not fine - I am capable of conversation with other humans, yes 13. How to put up a shelf - no 14. How to polish his shoes - yes 15. How to give a confident handshake - I have never been complimented on my handshake, so I've no idea 16. How many inches are in a foot - twelve 17. When to accept defeat and apologise - I am capable of conversation with other humans, yes 18. Know the offside rule - yes 19. The year England won the World Cup - erm 20. How to do his own laundry - yes 21. How to fix a bike puncture - I can't ride a bike 22. How to jumpstart a car - I don't drive 23. How to parallel park - I don't drive 24. The difference between ale and lager - it all tastes like shite 25. The best way to carve meat - the meat I eat is pre-carved 26. His own height - yes 27. How to drive in snow - I don't drive 28. What wires represent earth, live and neutral - it says so on the plug label, so yes 29. How to introduce himself - I am capable of conversation with other humans, yes 30. His parents' address - yes 31. What the football scores were at the weekend - I suppose so 32. How to light a BBQ - I've seen Homer Simpson do it, so yes 33. When a woman says "Do what you want" do not do what you want - this isn't a skill 34. How to change oil - I DON'T FUCKING DRIVE 35. What the biggest recent football transfers are - I suppose so 36. How to build a fire - get stuff that burns, get a match 37. Which way is North - up 38. How to use the contents of the toolbox - yes 39. How to tune in a telly - you don't tune in tellys anymore 40. How many miles are left after the petrol light appears - I don't drive 41. How to fix a toilet - no 42. How to put someone in a recovery position - yes 43. His personal alcohol limits - yes 44. Change a battery on a car - f**k off 45. How to get a car unstuck - push it, I'd imagine 46. The words to the national anthem - I know the words to my regional anthem, if that counts 47. How to change a nappy - no 48. How to perform CPR - I've seen the Vinnie Jones advert, I'll go yes 49. How to put up a tent - yes 50. Who are favourites to win the Premier League - yes So, assuming that questions that don't apply to me are no anyway because I am not enough of a man to drive or maintain a (-n apparently kowtowed) relationship with a woman, I have... 34/50. Then again, I suppose what marks me as more of a reasonable human being is to groan and roll my eyes at pish like this not living my life as if I'm some hideous and warped caricature of a functional human capable of thinking and talking to people. But... Can you drive? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 ^^^ Rides a bicycle to work and pees sitting down type post ^^^ ^^^ Composite of dull male tropes. No sense of uniqueness or personality. Secretly sexually drawn to his best friend. ^^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 Totally agree. Also a woman I work with tried to top up her a engine oil by pouring it in the dipstick hole and my wife's responsibility for her car ends at the steering wheel. She won't / can't / doesn't want to even be shown how to top up her screen wash. Years ago when we were a two car family I drove my wife's car as we went shopping. This was at night and as we drove up the road she asks 'what does that button do?' pointing to the centre console. I almost drove off the road as I was laughing so hard, she was pointing to the fuel flap release button, she'd had the car for over two years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 Years ago when we were a two car family I drove my wife's car as we went shopping. This was at night and as we drove up the road she asks 'what does that button do?' pointing to the centre console. I almost drove off the road as I was laughing so hard, she was pointing to the fuel flap release button, she'd had the car for over two years. Did you kick her in the pie? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el buitre Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 A real man would Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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