KnightswoodBear Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 Put them in your arse? You'll have lovely smelling farts. The hamster say's it's already a bit tight up there and he's not shifting. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 (edited) The hamster say's it's already a bit tight up there and he's not shifting. He's a hamster. Don't take any shit from him. Get those raspberries up there. Either that or lure the hamster further up your colon. Swallow some cheese on a bit of string. Edited May 1, 2015 by DA Baracus 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I went to Starbucks for my lunch today(1st of May is a bank holiday, most other places were closed) and ordered a Chicken Tandoori wrap, which I asked them to heat up. When I sat down to eat it(After paying, obviously), it was mostly lukewarm with one section still cold. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I went to Starbucks for my lunch today(1st of May is a bank holiday, most other places were closed) and ordered a Chicken Tandoori wrap, which I asked them to heat up. When I sat down to eat it(After paying, obviously), it was mostly lukewarm with one section still cold. So although it looked warm is was cold? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WFAANW Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 My phone decided to break today which means that my bedroom door has a hole kicked into it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzyAffro Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Sky Broadband shield has been activated in my house on the wifi by default It now means I can only watch programmes like South Park/Walking Dead etc between 9pm at night and 5.30am in the morning Anyways brb, got loads of the walking dead to catch up on...... ImageUploadedByPie & Bovril1430337913.779500.jpg /\ Desperate for a tommy type post 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jm1 Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Just spent £20.04 in a supermarket shop. That 4p meant I couldn't use my contactless card and had to enter my PIN instead. I nearly just told them to bloody keep it all. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzle Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Should have just given a bag back and carried the rest. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Saintee Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Randomguy had to specifically go to the season ticket section on the St Johnstone website to get season ticket information. He wasn't happy about it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Not getting to take a shit without the kids or the cats wandering in. Leave me alone and shut the door again! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Not getting to take a shit without the kids or the cats wandering in. Leave me alone and shut the door again! Had this problem this morning kinda - got 3 guests staying in a small 2 bedroom flat this weekend. Now first thing i always have to shit after my coffee and all 3 of the girls wanted to use the shower - the main bathroom is right next to the room they were in and the en suite was my only option but that ws only shower in the flat so i had to shit there before all 3 of them used the shower. Don't think it stank that bad. I continued to drink coffee and eventually had to go for my second shit at the gym Also last night my girlfriends company threw a wee party but head office refused to pay for the wine so they had to pay for it themselves, modern day slavery 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Not getting to take a shit without the kids or the cats wandering in. Leave me alone and shut the door again! Need a poorer diet IMO. I'm always being interrupted by children and beasts of various types, but they don't hang around long. I think I've killed a few spiders before too. 'Course, you could always lock the door, but where's the fun in that? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Had this problem this morning kinda - got 3 guests staying in a small 2 bedroom flat this weekend. Now first thing i always have to shit after my coffee and all 3 of the girls wanted to use the shower - the main bathroom is right next to the room they were in and the en suite was my only option but that ws only shower in the flat so i had to shit there before all 3 of them used the shower. Don't think it stank that bad. I continued to drink coffee and eventually had to go for my second shit at the gym Disappointed that you didn't suggest they shower together to save water, before sneaking in for a wee crap 'n' tug on the sly. You're getting soft in your old age, Throbs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Disappointed that you didn't suggest they shower together to save water, before sneaking in for a wee crap 'n' tug on the sly. You're getting soft in your old age, Throbs. They were out during the day but on the bus back now - i could go into their room and have a tug whilst smelling their bed sheets if it would make you think more of me? The risk of getting caught would be immense 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 They were out during the day but on the bus back now - i could go into their room and have a tug whilst smelling their bed sheets if it would make you think more of me? The risk of getting caught would be immense Never let anyone's opinion of you affect your decision-making. Never mind us, you go and sniff those sheets because you want to 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Never let anyone's opinion of you affect your decision-making. Never mind us, you go and sniff those sheets because you want to They're going back out in an hour or so 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dudu Dahan pal Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 People who get on a bus and don't have the correct change/their bus pass ready for getting onto the bus. Really gets on my tits 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 I'm assuming Throbber's still in there and they haven't ejaculated him yet. Four-way throwdown at the Throbby house. Either that or they've spent the day dismembering the body. Good night sweet prince x 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smurph Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 I got home at 23:05. Both Pizza Hut and Dominos closed at 23:00. The only food I have in the house is the same as I had for lunch and I'm going to have to have that for dinner. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redhead81 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Working in Edinburgh some of this week so had to reschedule my session with my personal trainer till Sunday morning... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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