Miguel Sanchez Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 An idea borne out of jupe mentioning Sandaza as his favourite in the Sportscene thread, I thought a poll would be nice. Since there's a limit to how many options you can have in a poll on here, I've split them up into the three seasons of The Journey, for some extra-concentrated hilarity. Some were... well, all were signed predominately as a means of self-delusion. Several signed from top flight Scottish teams, the players signing for the money, the club signing them to prove to their assorted hangers-on that they were still a Big Club and that the Rangers Standard was a thing. Sadly, hilariously, the Rangers Standard has since been re-written. Some of the signings provided brief flickers of hilarity, the fat Kevin Kyle, Fran "Tommy" Sandaza. Some provided more prolonged laughs, Ian Black remaining as close a figure to absolute hate throughout the whole of Scottish football as is possible, winding up the hordes as much as the opposition. Some took the place of Nicky Clark, a reasonable signing given his track record and age who was kept out of the team by a 36 year old centre-half during a season so successful they went unbeaten against an almost completely part-time league, reinforcing what encapsulated the failings of this iteration of Rangers - hubris, an inferiority complex wider than the Clyde and a complete lack of foresight, hindsight, anything. Considering the amount of rogues they actually added over the past three years the amount that can be actually considered genuine successes is largely nil. I'm sure we can all have fun discussing the results of all of these horde appeasements. I know there are three difficult decisions to be made here, but please choose carefully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elixir Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Sandaza, Mohsni and Boyd should win this by a landslide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Grass Is Greener. Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Steven Naismith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMMjag Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Kevin Kyle, Jon Daly, Kris Boyd. Three signings that epitomise what the Tribute Act is all about. And who the f**k is Kevin Mbabu? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Nicky Law looked like a human being when he played for us. Now he just looks like a slapheaded ned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_bully_wee Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Every single player has brought some element of hilarity. Whether it's Argyriou for hardly featuring, Bigirimana for never featuring or Haris Vuckic for being booked for simulation about 12 times despite being a great signing for them, every single signing has amused me in at the very least some small way. I went for Bigirimana and Sandaza, along with Steve Simonsen. The revelation that the first wouldn't play at all for Sevco added another unlikely chapter into the lolologues which record the Newco's history, while the fact Sandaza revealed he was only there for the Sevco dollar was as unsurprising as it was lolworthy. Also, the irony of him scoring a crucial goal today which helped Liga Adelante side Girona move closer to promotion to La Liga was not lost on me. And finally, big Simmo. Between the betting scandal and his horror show to hand Dundee Utd the victory at Castle Greyskull, he provided two massive lols. Now, those three I rate as my favourite signings from each season. But in Bilel Mohsni, there's a player I can't merely call a "favourite". He's in a class of his own, therefore I have elevated him above all the others. To think that just two years ago he was an alleged target for Birmingham and conned his way to a trial with West Ham, it's just side-splittingly hilarious that he's now been released by the omnishambles we have grown to know and love over the last three years. Today's meltdown was the cherry on top of two fantastic seasons of blunders and general hilarity. It'll be interesting to see who they almost bankrupt themselves signing over the close season. We can but hope that their recruitment strategy remains a scattergun journeyman hunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al B Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 They say cows can't walk down stairs. Well, I think watching Bilel Mohsni is what it would look like if they tried. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paramour Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Kyle, Mohsni, Bigirimana. There's more talent on an oil rig. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiddy Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Sandaza, Mohsni and Boyd should win this by a landslide. I voted without reading & this was my exact choice. You aren't Derren Brown by any chance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shull Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Mickey O'Ashley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 I went for: Sandaza: The Taxi-gate tape was absolutely glorious. I'd love to know what each of his goals cost the tribute act in terms of wages. Mohsni:How could I not select this buffoon? Watching him defend reminded of late 80s TV footage of bovines suffering Mad Cow Disease. Miller: Most folk go for Boyd, I prefer to laugh at Miller. The TV cameras seemed to catch him looking even more torn-faced than usual after all their humiliations this season. The QOS thumping was particularly funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
placidcasual Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Kevin "I asked for 5 grand a week for a laugh and got it" Kyle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slacker Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Kevin Kyle remains my go-to guy when I'm laughing at/with my Rangers supporting mates. Bilel Mohsni is arguably the funniest footballer there's been in Scotland - certainly over the past 10 years. Great way to sign off yesterday too. For this season, it had to come from the 'Newcastle Five' for me - went for Gael Bigirimana in the end, simply because he was signed despite never being able to play for them. Sums their recruitment up: batshit crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sloop John B Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 It's worth remembering that David Templeton was a highly thought of prospect at Hearts and Rangers actually spent a fair bit of money on him and now he can barely get in the side ahead of Fraser Aird and the kit man can't spell his name correctly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PudgieTheSheep Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 I had to go for Foster. This is a player that came back to us from his loan to the original Rangers and wasn't very well received because he was root. We were told it was because he went to Rangers but since he's been at Sevco he's proved that he was exactly as bad as we all thought. Boyd and Sandaza getting my other votes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Sandaza - for Taxi-gate and just putting it all out there. Moshni - For being utterly crap till after the final whistle of his final game......then being more mental than everybody thought. Boyd - was a coin-toss between him and Miller, but then gave him a bonus point for his beard growing ability, apparently grown to catch the tears of suffering and pain before they hit his ever expanding belly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
San Starko Rover Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Templeton- From promising youngster to the ReservesMoshni - From International player to utter donkeyBoyd - From Medium to Xtra Large Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fotbawmad Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Sandaza and Mohsni are hard to argue against, for reasons already mentioned. However, I bucked the trend and went with Vuckic for the last one. This guy was talked up as being a player who was going to turn it all around and assure they would make it through the play offs. Not to mention all the stuff going on around Mike Ashley. After all, whenever an EPL player comes to Scotland. People automatically evoke the appeal to authority argument, when using it to justify how good they are. However, the guy was utter pish and would struggle to get in the starting line up of most top 6 teams. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captainkev Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 12/13: I know most people will tend to go for Sandaza given his terrible form and the prank call affair, but for me it has to be Kevin Kyle. Everyone knew he was a crock but McCoist still gave him a contract worth thousands a week. Hilarious stuff. 13/14: Again Mohsni is the more obvious choice, especially after yesterdays antics, but I can't pick anyone other Steve Simonsen. Why? Well for this of course: 14/15: Boyd, they managed to take a player who had re-energised his career last season at a higher level by almost single handedly keeping Kilmarnock up and then absolutely ruin him. Superb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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