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Biggest lie on your CV


BFTD

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That sounds horrendous Dave - i just don't like bragging about myself to other people i am quite content with the way i am and know what I'm good at and what I'm like as a worker, i would just rather skip to the interview rather than write about how great i am when in reality i know that i am quite a ridiculously silly person. Its probably why i have got nowhere in life thus far tbh

This. It sucks that bragging is an essential life skill. My father-in-law was a high-up executive at a big American multinational, and you could see exactly how he'd done so well. The kind of guy who would remind people for years about the one time he bought them a beer, and would get stroppy if an additional 'thank you' wasn't forthcoming. I'm sure he had no qualms with reminding everyone of his awesomeness come review time.

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This. It sucks that bragging is an essential life skill. My father-in-law was a high-up executive at a big American multinational, and you could see exactly how he'd done so well. The kind of guy who would remind people for years about the one time he bought them a beer, and would get stroppy if an additional 'thank you' wasn't forthcoming. I'm sure he had no qualms with reminding everyone of his awesomeness come review time.

I suppose it is, the sad thing is once my foot is in the door i am the most cocky confident b*****d you could ever see but when applying for jobs and putting myself out there i am a total shit head. This is a burden i am stricken with sadly as i am the first person to point out that i am a dick head, i blame it on my father and bosses being overly harsh on me

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My dinner's on the table when I get home from work and my uniform's ironed and hanging up for the following morning. I can live with it.

It's sweet that you let him borrow it TBH. Lucky guy.

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It's sweet that you let him borrow it TBH. Lucky guy.

The quoted post has been forever saved into my phone, so that 18 years down the line when I'm still sponging off her she will be reminded of how happy she used to be, before I basically crushed her soul by not getting a job.

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I suppose it is, the sad thing is once my foot is in the door i am the most cocky confident b*****d you could ever see but when applying for jobs and putting myself out there i am a total shit head. This is a burden i am stricken with sadly as i am the first person to point out that i am a dick head, i blame it on my father and bosses being overly harsh on me

I'd be tempted to call someone in for interview if their otherwise-acceptable CV included an admission of dickheadery. Sure, two dickheads working together would probably bankrupt the company, but that level of honesty deserves reward.

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The quoted post has been forever saved into my phone, so that 18 years down the line when I'm still sponging off her she will be reminded of how happy she used to be, before I basically crushed her soul by not getting a job.

I'll have chucked you way before then.

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The quoted post has been forever saved into my phone, so that 18 years down the line when I'm still sponging off her she will be reminded of how happy she used to be, before I basically crushed her soul by not getting a job.

"FFS Adam, do you believe everything that's typed on £2,000 smartphones by fraudster BEASTs from their secret lair in France?"

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Have studied and comfortable with working on Linux- I did a short term module ( where we only did commands on a red hat os) on it where i managed to fluke a pass :lol:

Genius. If it's good enough for you, it's going on there for me too.

Not that it's going to be much use for this Assistant Jizzmopper position. Hopefully the boss is impressed by command line administration skills.

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I'm genuinely thinking of putting gay on the equal opportunities form from now on.

As a young, straight, atheist white man I'm doing horribly on the quota front.

Good call. I'm thinking of putting down that I'm disabled in my next application.

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Does your cat go all Risky Business on the laminate when you're out?

Is there a cat that doesn't?

Dirty buggers. Easy to clean up, at least.

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Good call. I'm thinking of putting down that I'm disabled in my next application.

I remember mattydfc offering his services as a hitman, so I'm sure he'd be willing to make that dream a reality for you. For a small fee, naturally.

(apologies if that wasn't matty, although I doubt he'll mind)

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