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The Toothache thread


Dindeleux

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Great idea for a thread OP.

Toothache is without a doubt the work of the fucking devil. How the f**k your teeth can go from being ok to within a couple of hours just being an absolute fucking c**t that makes you want to blow your own head off your shoulders (if you owned a gun) just to get rid of the pain.

Fucking wisdom teeth coming through? At fucking 30? Get to f**k with your fucking stupid wee spaces between your normal teeth that won't let them push through.

Arsehole teeth and arsehole gums. No doubt I'll be lying here sweating it out till about 7 in the morning before finally giving up and overdozing on tramadol and whatever pills my girlfriend takes for period pains mixed with some whisky. Then I'll probably sleep until about 11 and phone the fucking dentist only to be told I'm too late for an emergency appointment.

I wish my head was gone because it would mean my gums, teeth, nerves and my brain would also get to f**k away from the top of my shoulders. My neck can go as well since it feels like the pain is shooting down that way too.

Share your suicidal thoughts with the group.

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Great idea for a thread OP.

Toothache is without a doubt the work of the fucking devil. How the f**k your teeth can go from being ok to within a couple of hours just being an absolute fucking c**t that makes you want to blow your own head off your shoulders (if you owned a gun) just to get rid of the pain.

Fucking wisdom teeth coming through? At fucking 30? Get to f**k with your fucking stupid wee spaces between your normal teeth that won't let them push through.

Arsehole teeth and arsehole gums. No doubt I'll be lying here sweating it out till about 7 in the morning before finally giving up and overdozing on tramadol and whatever pills my girlfriend takes for period pains mixed with some whisky. Then I'll probably sleep until about 11 and phone the fucking dentist only to be told I'm too late for an emergency appointment.

I wish my head was gone because it would mean my gums, teeth, nerves and my brain would also get to f**k away from the top of my shoulders. My neck can go as well since it feels like the pain is shooting down that way too.

Share your suicidal thoughts with the group.

You seem upset :(

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Great idea for a thread OP.

Toothache is without a doubt the work of the fucking devil. How the f**k your teeth can go from being ok to within a couple of hours just being an absolute fucking c**t that makes you want to blow your own head off your shoulders (if you owned a gun) just to get rid of the pain.

Fucking wisdom teeth coming through? At fucking 30? Get to f**k with your fucking stupid wee spaces between your normal teeth that won't let them push through.

Arsehole teeth and arsehole gums. No doubt I'll be lying here sweating it out till about 7 in the morning before finally giving up and overdozing on tramadol and whatever pills my girlfriend takes for period pains mixed with some whisky. Then I'll probably sleep until about 11 and phone the fucking dentist only to be told I'm too late for an emergency appointment.

I wish my head was gone because it would mean my gums, teeth, nerves and my brain would also get to f**k away from the top of my shoulders. My neck can go as well since it feels like the pain is shooting down that way too.

Share your suicidal thoughts with the group.

If your dentist refuses to give you an emergency appointment, simply go down & camp in their waiting room - that tends to concentrate their minds. Dentists days are filled with no-shows daily, so a space to see you will turn up sooner than you think.

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I won't name names, to save the poor lady being bombarded with the P&B perv brigade demanding root treatment. She doesn't appear to be working at the surgery any more anyway.

Before moving to Edinburgh I went to a delightful dentist. She was Mediterranean and fairly newly qualified. When doing any work to my gob she'd soothe me by stroking my hair, resting my head on what I can only describe as her bossom.

The missus said I was a dirty old pervert and that I had possibly been at a knocking shop rather than the dentist. Missus then had her checkup due and booked with the same dentist. She too was treated to the general stroking, cosseting and boobs on head/face treatment.

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By the immortal bard, Robert Burns Address to the Toothache

My curse upon your venom'd stang.

That shoots my tortur'd gums alang,

An thro my lug gies monie a twang

Wi gnawing vengeance,

Tearing my nerves wi bitter pang,

Like racking engines!

A' down my beard the slavers trickle,

I throw the wee stools o'er the mickle.

While round the fire the giglets keckle,

To see me loup.

An raving mad, I wish a heckle

Were i' their doup!

When fevers burn, or ague freezes,

Rheumatics gnaw, or colic squeezes,

Our neebors sympathise to ease us,

Wi pitying moan;

But thee! - thou hell o a' diseases -

They mock our groan!

Of a' the numerous human dools -

Ill-hairsts, daft bargains, cutty-stools,

Or worthy frien's laid i' the mools,

Sad sight to see!

The tricks o knaves, or fash o fools -

Thou bear'st the gree!

Whare'er that place be priests ca' Hell,

Whare a' the tones o misery yell,

An ranked plagues their numbers tell,

In dreadfu raw,

Thou, Toothache, surely bear'st the bell,

Amang them a'!

O thou grim, mischief-making chiel,

That gars the notes o discord squeel,

Till human kind aft dance a reel

In gore, a shoe-thick,

Gie a' the faes o Scotland's weal

A towmond's toothache!

>
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I won't name names, to save the poor lady being bombarded with the P&B perv brigade demanding root treatment. She doesn't appear to be working at the surgery any more anyway.

Before moving to Edinburgh I went to a delightful dentist. She was Mediterranean and fairly newly qualified. When doing any work to my gob she'd soothe me by stroking my hair, resting my head on what I can only describe as her bossom.

The missus said I was a dirty old pervert and that I had possibly been at a knocking shop rather than the dentist. Missus then had her checkup due and booked with the same dentist. She too was treated to the general stroking, cosseting and boobs on head/face treatment.

Great way to get the punters through the door. I'll bet 90% of her male patients had f**k all wrong with them.

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She probably wasn't even a dentist. All the work she did on my teeth fell out. Still money well spent.

Sounds like a great way to make money. The punters would be glad of shoddy dental work so they would have to go back for more.

Hmmm. How much is gender reassignment surgery these days anyway?

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A mate of mine up in the far NW Highlands had some nasty toothache but no NHS dentist a wee while back. Went to his local GP who gave him some strong painkillers, saying phone him back if it didn't work. Didn't work, but he thought that downing most of a bottle of whisky would be better than a qualified GP's medical advice, before phoning the doctor again who noticed that he was pissed.

Upon being asked "wait, have you finished all of your tablets already?!", only to hear "dunno, none left", the next thing he knows is that he's picked up in an emergency helicopter evac' all the way to Raigmore as a precaution. Mate gets the all clear and eventually gets home. Steps into the kitchen to find a spilled tub of paracetamol with tablets scattered all over the floor.

I always took this with a massive pinch of salt until I had a drink with the doctor who confirmed its legitimacy.

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A mate of mine up in the far NW Highlands had some nasty toothache but no NHS dentist a wee while back. Went to his local GP who gave him some strong painkillers, saying phone him back if it didn't work. Didn't work, but he thought that downing most of a bottle of whisky would be better than a qualified GP's medical advice, before phoning the doctor again who noticed that he was pissed.

Upon being asked "wait, have you finished all of your tablets already?!", only to hear "dunno, none left", the next thing he knows is that he's picked up in an emergency helicopter evac' all the way to Raigmore as a precaution. Mate gets the all clear and eventually gets home. Steps into the kitchen to find a spilled tub of paracetamol with tablets scattered all over the floor.

I always took this with a massive pinch of salt until I had a drink with the doctor who confirmed its legitimacy.

It's good to know Doctors in the Highlands have a healthy disregard for patient confidentiality. Any others? Edited by Sergeant Wilson
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I had severe toothache, no Dentist in the area at the time, I was in the wild mountains of Wales, went and stocked up on paracetamol for the weekend,had a couple of drams, continued popping the tablets, cuts a long story short, when the toothache felt as if it had numbed but my stomach was in severe pain, I called NHS24 looking for dental treatment she asked me if I had taken anything to numb the pain told her how many paracetamol I had administered myself and obviously only told her 2 wee drams, 1 hour later, ambulance, then I am in Moriston hospital, connected to a drip, and a doctor telling me how close I was to liver failure!

I have never felt pain like that in my life, toothache is the work of the Devil indeed!

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Apparently (by this I mean someone told me) toothache is one of the few pains that your body will not go into shock to deal with.

Anyway, my appointment is soon and I've taken so many tramadol that I'm not even too fussed anymore.

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