Believe The Hype Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 Apparently stays not far from me, could have been me. anyway, one time at work we got this daft new laddie in, working in an abattoir you can get up to all sorts of japes, so we told this gullible wee shite that to kill the cows you had to hit them over the head with a hammer rather than using a bolt gun. Boy got himself plastered in cow brains and then we never seen him again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 3 minutes ago, Believe The Hype said: Apparently stays not far from me, could have been me. anyway, one time at work we got this daft new laddie in, working in an abattoir you can get up to all sorts of japes, so we told this gullible wee shite that to kill the cows you had to hit them over the head with a hammer rather than using a bolt gun. Boy got himself plastered in cow brains and then we never seen him again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reggie Perrin Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 5 minutes ago, Believe The Hype said: Apparently stays not far from me, could have been me. anyway, one time at work we got this daft new laddie in, working in an abattoir you can get up to all sorts of japes, so we told this gullible wee shite that to kill the cows you had to hit them over the head with a hammer rather than using a bolt gun. Boy got himself plastered in cow brains and then we never seen him again. And this happened in a world where some people are boycotting fivers because there is a microscopic amount of animal matter in the plastic substrate. Who is the weirder, the cow slaughterer or the militant vegans? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believe The Hype Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 Exactly, all morning he killed cows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 Put a colleague's stapler in a jelly when he was on holiday. Boss, who was a right cow, gave us a warning for defacing company property. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy85 Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 49 minutes ago, Dosser-fae-the-shire said: Put a colleague's stapler in a jelly when he was on holiday. Boss, who was a right cow, gave us a warning for defacing company property. That's a bit of an overreaction tbh. You should've killed her entire family and forced her to watch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 That's your solution to everything Jimmy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 4 hours ago, throbber said: Imagine being this guys family and having this hanging over your heads, you would also be worried about how many meals/drinks you have had at his house and wonder what fluids of his you had consumed. Wouldn't like to be round at theirs for Christmas dinner anyway. Absolutely everything would be glazed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 Just imagine the smell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 Soggy socks mixed with mildew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 On 9/26/2011 at 09:09, NewBornBairn said: Worst job - worked in a slaughterhouse in Guildford when I was a teenager. I was given a sledgehammer and told to crack the cow's skulls with it. When I asked about bolt guns they laughed and said they didn't have anything so modern. All morning I killed cows. If you didn't swing the sledgehammer hard enough, the cow went fuckin' nuts and tried to break the crush. Hit the thing too hard and the sledgehammer smashed the skull and you got covered in brains. By lunchtime I was knackered, but when I got to the canteen everybody stood up and applauded. Turned out they were having a laugh with the new guy and I could have been using a bolt gun. I walked out and never went back. Didn't even ask for wages. 5 hours ago, Believe The Hype said: Apparently stays not far from me, could have been me. anyway, one time at work we got this daft new laddie in, working in an abattoir you can get up to all sorts of japes, so we told this gullible wee shite that to kill the cows you had to hit them over the head with a hammer rather than using a bolt gun. Boy got himself plastered in cow brains and then we never seen him again. Wait, what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 [emoji1] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torpar Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 3 hours ago, Dosser-fae-the-shire said: Put a colleague's stapler in a jelly when he was on holiday. Boss, who was a right cow, gave us a warning for defacing company property. Tim?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christophe Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 14 minutes ago, Torpar said: Tim?? Have a think mate.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torpar Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 22 minutes ago, Christophe said: Have a think mate.... Me above Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 Tim?? Nah, proddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 We have a japer appeared today who thought it a jolly jape to wipe shite (presumably their own) all over one of the cubicles in the ladies bogs. Manky b*****ds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 30 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said: We have a japer appeared today who thought it a jolly jape to wipe shite (presumably their own) all over one of the cubicles in the ladies bogs. Manky b*****ds. Anyone whose nickname is Tony working with you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 1 minute ago, welshbairn said: Anyone whose nickname is Tony working with you? That could be everybody on the payroll! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 That could be everybody on the payroll! Is this in an office environment this took place in? A building site would be slightly less concerning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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