John Lambies Doos Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 Stag do, sex with a dwarf. Best mans plan has far too many short comings imo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 I’ve maybe been to 20 or 30 stag nights over the years, and I think only two or three of them were any good. There always ends up being three or four groups involved that don’t really know each other – maybe the groom’s family, childhood friends, current friends and workmates – and so many of them seem to end up in that works-Xmas-do type of ersatz forced jollity with everybody trying too hard to convince themselves and each other they’re having the Best Time Ever. In my experience the only people that seem to actually enjoy them are the under-the-thumbers who go over the top from the get-go…two pints in and wanting to hit the red light district types. And aye, the best man sounds like a complete anus. What does he do for an encore, burn twenties in front of some homeless guy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 I organised my brothers stag do earlier this year - hospitality at football, an escape room and then a pub crawl. Seemed to go down well. Suppose I'll find out if he enjoyed it as he's organising mine as we speak......not really bothered about there being a midget there or not bro if you read this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 Hiring a midget sounds like the hilarious #bantz St Andrews university rugby squads pull. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 7 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said: All the absolute bullshit stuff that a lot of 'lads lads lads' stags are based around like bringing a midget along to laugh at, dressing the groom up to look like a pedophile or I've even heard of going to a strip club and having the groom chained and walked/whipped around the club, are horrendous. The only stag I planned we just went to a good city and got pished for the entire weekend. Pretty much this. Been to 4 stag do's in the last few years as all my mates get picked off 1 by 1. In each case it's been relatively simple - Pick a city(Newcastle, Liverpool twice and Manchester), do basic research on where the boozers are and then get hammered for a couple of days. On one of them we did have some paintballing and go karting or some such shite organised and paid for up front, but after being out until stupid o'clock on the Friday we all gave up after 15 minutes, went back to the hotel to get showered and went straight back out on the piss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid android Posted September 22, 2017 Author Share Posted September 22, 2017 11 hours ago, Shotgun said: I never knew what a sheltered life I've led until I found P&B. How does this work? You're hiring a midget to do...what exactly? I'm going to guess that it isn't for gay sex with the groom so is he a stand-up comedian? Are you going to take turns throwing him? Mud wrestling? What? Because weird as some of those are; if the whole gig is paying him to come just so you can have fun at his expense, then uh...yeah, the Best Man's a canute. As is anyone else in the party who isn't saying so already. Nobody is going to have sex with the midget or throw him around - I believe the deal is that the midget handcuffs himself to the groom, so, whatever the groom does for the hour, he'll have the midget cuffed to him. The best man actually isn't a c**t - he's actually a very nice guy - some of us feel that he's misguided over this midget hire thing, and we've expressed our concerns. My guess is that he might feel under pressure to do something outrageous for his best mate's stag. I was telling a pal about this today, and he was saying folk did worse things with a stripper at a stag he was at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 Not only is that not 'outrageous', it's also just tiresome, dull stuff that only absolute dickheads would do. I can only echo previous posters; stags should just be go out and have some drinks and a laugh. Things like go-karting and paintball are decent as well, but 'wacky', 'zany' shit (aka mundane tropes and cliches) are just w**k and make it more like a boring routine instead of a genuinely good time with your pals. I would include going to the strippers in this, but then going to a strippers at any time is exclusively for absolute wankers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 4 minutes ago, paranoid android said: Nobody is going to have sex with the midget. The number of times I've said that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid android Posted September 22, 2017 Author Share Posted September 22, 2017 A few halfs and a few laughs would do me fine. I'll be traveling with the best man the morra, and we'll talk about it - if he's intent on doing it, there's f**k-all I can do - other than maybe boycott my mate's stag, which I'm not going to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 27 minutes ago, paranoid android said: I believe the deal is that the midget handcuffs himself to the groom, so, whatever the groom does for the hour, he'll have the midget cuffed to him. Hayseus Crispie; that's worse than anything I had imagined. Hopefully a couple of visits to the cludgie will make the midget reconsider his career choices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid android Posted September 22, 2017 Author Share Posted September 22, 2017 Just now, Shotgun said: Hayseus Crispie; that's worse than anything I had imagined. Hopefully a couple of visits to the cludgie will make the midget reconsider his career choices. I could imagine a lot worse than that, tbf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 1 minute ago, paranoid android said: I could imagine a lot worse than that, tbf. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid android Posted September 22, 2017 Author Share Posted September 22, 2017 Just now, Shotgun said: Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. I'm trying not to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 I blame the midget for letting himself be exploited like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 19 hours ago, paranoid android said: Going to a stag do in a few weeks - the best man wants to hire a midget for an hour - most folk are ok with it, but a few aren't comfortable with it - any thoughts? Any decent stag ideas/stories? Any midget stories? The best man and the people who are ok with it are definite weirdos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 Hopefully the stag just refuses to do it. Incidentally, if it does happen, you'd best hope the bride to be doesn't ever see any pictures as she might think it's supposed to be symbolic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 It's pretty much agreed when the first of my pals get engaged we're going to Ibiza for a long weekend. Any other stag it's entirely up to the bestman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 39 minutes ago, Dee Man said: I blame the midget for letting himself be exploited like this. You should maybe reconsider your career choices. http://www.dwarfmyparty.com/rates/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 1 minute ago, welshbairn said: You should maybe reconsider your career choices. http://www.dwarfmyparty.com/rates/ I went for a medical the other day and I appear to have shrunk 3/4 of an inch in 11 months so a few more years and I'll be applying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 1 minute ago, Dee Man said: I went for a medical the other day and I appear to have shrunk 3/4 of an inch in 11 months so a few more years and I'll be applying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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