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The Bah Humbug Thread


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26 minutes ago, throbber said:

 

No matter how good you are at cooking it’s still not as good a meat as a good bit of Beef.

The last couple of years that we've been in our own gaff for christmas I've bought a good big lump of fillet steak and made a beef Wellington. Braw. The missus has scunnered herself with nut roast so not sure what she'll fancy this year. Think the plan this year is a visit to her folks in the morning then back to Casa Root to be a pair of miserable selfish gits and do our own thing, mostly eating and drinking and having a look on Amazon to see what I can spend my vouchers on when the sale starts.

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Also, the cherry picking of German Christmas tradition can gtf. If we can have indoor trees, then we can have Knecht Ruprecht as well. Kids are little sh*ts these days and the threat of a bag of coal is doing nothing. Personally, I'd love a bag of coal for Christmas as it would be a highly practical gift seeing as I have a coal fire that gets most use during the cold winter months, but nobody ever considers that.

 

Anyway, for those in need of enlightenment, Ruprecht is the 'thing' that goes around with Santa and beats up the children with a big stick if they've been bad. Imagine the thought of this guy creeping into your bedroom late on Christmas Eve, that would soon sort you out:

 20787fa01f53f2590139784691692119--winter-solstice-pagan.jpg

il_340x270-401386545_s03d1.jpg

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4 minutes ago, throbber said:

 


I just like a good quality roast beef if I get my way on the issue, not too fussed about beef Wellington. I’m going up to my folks this year which will be great but next year we have to go to the mother in laws which is going to be shit, plus we will have the child by then so it’s a shame my parents won’t get to have their grand child on Xmas day.

New year is the one that I like the least tbh, just another pointless piss up after weeks of drinking and eating myself sick, have never enjoyed it.

 

Used to love Hogmanay when I was younger (up to mid 20's) but not been arsed about it since, just an excuse to get batfaced and I've never really needed an excuse. 

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Well my Boxing Day plan of drink and footballs out of the window.

Apparently I’m to go to my girlfriends grannies for Boxing Day, because she was in tears last night that my girlfriends choosing to spend Christmas with my family.


Think positive. She might be deid by the next one.



Moz the monster reminds me of that Simpsons clip when there is a boardroom conference and the boss of the company says "Try and come out with something that can make us a lot of money, like "Love day" but not as corny" and then in the next scene Marge is saying "Happy love day everyone!" Just a completely shamelessly lazy attempt at grabbing the hearts of our nations children. 
If someone had come out with that idea on the Apprentice, Lord Sugar and Karen Brady would laugh it out of the boardroom. His nose looks like a scrotum as well. Fucking awful.



I don't get that advert at all. The wee boy is clearly knackered but I thought the monster was his pal so why was he so keen to get rid of him? The best thing about the advert is the fart at the start.
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I just like a good quality roast beef if I get my way on the issue, not too fussed about beef Wellington. I’m going up to my folks this year which will be great but next year we have to go to the mother in laws which is going to be shit, plus we will have the child by then so it’s a shame my parents won’t get to have their grand child on Xmas day.

New year is the one that I like the least tbh, just another pointless piss up after weeks of drinking and eating myself sick, have never enjoyed it.

Won’t next year be first Christmas with baby throbber? “Oh, we’re just going to have Christmas in ours with the wee one”. Problem solved.
Hogmanay is good, I hate to admit it. The last two years I’ve planned on staying in and doing f**k all because it’s pish. Both times I’ve ended up round my mates bit, getting thoroughly wrecked, having a great night but an utter c**t of a hangover the next day.
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Won’t next year be first Christmas with baby throbber? “Oh, we’re just going to have Christmas in ours with the wee one”. Problem solved.


This is the first Christmas with baby Estragon and this has very decidedly NOT materialised as a viable proposition.

Anyway, back on topic I've just had my first festive sandwich of the season so f**k your feelings y'all.
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2 minutes ago, throbber said:

Yes it will be, my girlfriend and her siblings go to their mother/fathers house in alternate years and she comes to my parents every 3rd year and its just how it works out with her now having a baby. Wont exactly be fair for my parents only getting their grand child every 3rd year though so not sure how it will work out in future. I'm sure it will be fine but nothing like having it at my folks house.

It'll work out better in future if you show some balls.

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There's your problem right there.
I couldn't think of anything worse than spending Christmas Day with 18 members of my family. Shower of c***s.


It wouldn't be my choice either but my wife likes having the family round. I stay in a 3 bed detached house. It isn't made for 18 people. If you throw in the cooking, dish washing and waiting it doesn't make for the greatest of days. I really think the missing element is drink. I need to start drinking earlier on the day.
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5 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

Also, the cherry picking of German Christmas tradition can gtf. If we can have indoor trees, then we can have Knecht Ruprecht as well. Kids are little sh*ts these days and the threat of a bag of coal is doing nothing. Personally, I'd love a bag of coal for Christmas as it would be a highly practical gift seeing as I have a coal fire that gets most use during the cold winter months, but nobody ever considers that.

 

Anyway, for those in need of enlightenment, Ruprecht is the 'thing' that goes around with Santa and beats up the children with a big stick if they've been bad. Imagine the thought of this guy creeping into your bedroom late on Christmas Eve, that would soon sort you out:

 20787fa01f53f2590139784691692119--winter-solstice-pagan.jpg

il_340x270-401386545_s03d1.jpg

That blows my guess out of the water.

Image result for dirty rotten scoundrels gif

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5 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

Also, the cherry picking of German Christmas tradition can gtf. If we can have indoor trees, then we can have Knecht Ruprecht as well. Kids are little sh*ts these days and the threat of a bag of coal is doing nothing. Personally, I'd love a bag of coal for Christmas as it would be a highly practical gift seeing as I have a coal fire that gets most use during the cold winter months, but nobody ever considers that.

 

Anyway, for those in need of enlightenment, Ruprecht is the 'thing' that goes around with Santa and beats up the children with a big stick if they've been bad. Imagine the thought of this guy creeping into your bedroom late on Christmas Eve, that would soon sort you out:

 20787fa01f53f2590139784691692119--winter-solstice-pagan.jpg

il_340x270-401386545_s03d1.jpg

The ladies would love a visit from Ruprecht with that big tongue of his.

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I quite like Christmas. Has it's good points and bad points.

Good points:

Women from work dressed up for Christmas nights out.

The odd bit of telly that's really good.

Food.

Decent Christmas music.

Time off work.

Putting your coupon on for the horses and watching the King George on TV on Boxing Day with left overs from the Christmas dinner.

 

Bad points:

Actually having to attend office Christmas nights out.

The majority of telly that's absolutely garbage.

Having to go food shopping just before Christmas when people are generally acting like complete tools and buying like the shops will never open again.

Crap Christmas music.

Havign the office festooned in tinsel and other tat for about 3 weeks, with nobody willing to tidy the place afterwards.

People wearing Christmas jumpers.

People who only ever drink at Christmas and become absolute nightmares with it.

 

Stop on the 13th this year. Fly out to Germany on the 14th for a sports citybreak (ice hockey and Bundesliga football) so I'll visit a proper Christmas market when I'm there. Home on the 18th and then relaxing until I'm back to work on the Wednesday after Christmas.

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Christmas is fucking magic and if you think otherwise you are most probably a miserable c**t the other 364 days.


Do you mean the day itself? If people enjoy the day itself, it's probably because they are just turning up and getting fed, while downing booze and watching telly. I love it when it's like that. It's not quite as much fun if you are doing the cooking, serving and washing up.

The actual festive period - week leading up to Christmas and week leading up to New Year is a good time of year, before the never ending bleakness of January starts.
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