tamthebam Posted May 18, 2018 Share Posted May 18, 2018 1 minute ago, supermik said: If I ever catch up with you I won’t nick you, you will get the full s ash you mushroom eating deviant. FTFY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted May 18, 2018 Share Posted May 18, 2018 25 minutes ago, pj_puttz said: I saw her sitting there, her overnight bag next to her, in floods of tears. Needless to say I strolled straight passed and didn't go back. Absolute shite-baggery of the highest order. you have my sympathy - i could have probably overlooked the untruths about her age, and maybe not quite coming up to scratch with regard to her mooted appearance, all part of the game with on-line flirting, but having poor quality hand luggage is fucking unforgivable... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted May 18, 2018 Share Posted May 18, 2018 2 hours ago, pj_puttz said: I went on a blind date once, arranged via the internet in the early days of chat rooms and cybersex so various promises had been made. I got cold feet while in the boozer waiting for her so I did the old hide behind a newspaper trick while facing the door so I could peer over the top of it to check out the girl as she arrived. After getting my hopes up each time a stunner walked in only to quickly realise it wasn't her she eventually turned up. My heart sank as I realised she was definitely here to meet me and she was clearly a lot older than she had let on. Not a whole lot like her, very generous, description of herself either. Panicking, I remained hidden behind the paper while she scoured the pub looking for me. When she turned her back I sneaked out of the pub and walked away. After a minute or so my conscience started bothering me so I decided to go back, have a quick drink with her then make my excuses and leave. I got as far as the steps outside the pub when I saw her sitting there, her overnight bag next to her, in floods of tears. Needless to say I strolled straight passed and didn't go back. Absolute shitebaggery of the highest order. ^^^Walked away^^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted May 18, 2018 Share Posted May 18, 2018 Whilst studying for her exams, my sister had a **homemeade** sign on her bedroom door which read "Quiet! Genious at work". The sign was there for two months and I never pointed it out to her, although I did to all our friends who visited. Nobody tell him. We'll just point it out to everyone who visits this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted May 18, 2018 Share Posted May 18, 2018 An Indian guy at work makes Indian sweets for me. They are sweet with some weird spices in them. They are totally minging. I just launch the lot in the bin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted May 18, 2018 Share Posted May 18, 2018 In short, I hated someone so much I dug a hole in their garden and shat in it, then covered the hole back up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funky Nosejob Posted May 18, 2018 Share Posted May 18, 2018 5 hours ago, 19QOS19 said: Nobody tell him. We'll just point it out to everyone who visits this thread. Touché. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer Jag Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 Playing football with my best mate during our last year at primary school. He found a five pound note on the ground and refused to half it with me. When it was my turn in goals, I deliberately punted the ball as far up the pitch as possible. As he ran for the ball, I took the fiver from his tracky top pocket and kept it. He was distraught when he realised that he “lost” it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highland Capital Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 Being Scottish. Being British. Being anything else that was an accident of birth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 I passed by Grant St earlier to see if I could see Kylie Jenner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 6 hours ago, Hammer Jag said: Playing football with my best mate during our last year at primary school. He found a five pound note on the ground and refused to half it with me. When it was my turn in goals, I deliberately punted the ball as far up the pitch as possible. As he ran for the ball, I took the fiver from his tracky top pocket and kept it. He was distraught when he realised that he “lost” it. @Deefiant - maybe adapt this strategy next time you’re playing fives? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 20 hours ago, Stellaboz said: In short, I hated someone so much I dug a hole in their garden and shat in it, then covered the hole back up. She deserved it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 Mine is a fairly shite one. At uni in 2007 I was pished and went with a lassie back to my room. Unfortunately when it got down to the business she said she couldn't as she was on her period. So we instead just went to sleep. In the morning I realised she wasn't quite the looker I thought the night before (to be fair she probably thought the same thing). She got up for a pish and I put her stuff outside the door, locked it, then hid under the covers cringing in shame as she knocked on the door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ylf Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 Mine is a fairly shite one. At uni in 2007 I was pished and went with a lassie back to my room. Unfortunately when it got down to the business she said she couldn't as she was on her period. So we instead just went to sleep. In the morning I realised she wasn't quite the looker I thought the night before (to be fair she probably thought the same thing). She got up for a pish and I put her stuff outside the door, locked it, then hid under the covers cringing in shame as she knocked on the door. Ffs???????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ah-dee Posted May 19, 2018 Author Share Posted May 19, 2018 Mine is a fairly shite one. At uni in 2007 I was pished and went with a lassie back to my room. Unfortunately when it got down to the business she said she couldn't as she was on her period. So we instead just went to sleep. In the morning I realised she wasn't quite the looker I thought the night before (to be fair she probably thought the same thing). She got up for a pish and I put her stuff outside the door, locked it, then hid under the covers cringing in shame as she knocked on the door. that is not a shite one mate!i once took a lassie back to mine and the smell from her fanny was that bad i "went to the toilet" and fucked off from my own house and went to my mates. got a txt from her later asking where i was. i responded by saying just leave the house open and go. i really didnt care if she tanned everything from the place i just had to get away from her.feel bad about that as she was only 19 but thats no excuse for a reaking fanny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ylf Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 that is not a shite one mate!i once took a lassie back to mine and the smell from her fanny was that bad i "went to the toilet" and fucked off from my own house and went to my mates. got a txt from her later asking where i was. i responded by saying just leave the house open and go. i really didnt care if she tanned everything from the place i just had to get away from her.feel bad about that as she was only 19 but thats no excuse for a reaking fanny What did her chuff smell of like?!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ah-dee Posted May 19, 2018 Author Share Posted May 19, 2018 What did her chuff smell of like?!!i took my work biits out the bedroom and put them outside as thought it was them stinking the room out. csme back in and the smell was still there. took me about 10 minutes to realise the stink was her. was really difficult putting those boots on the following monday. the memory made my skin crawl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodallegabombs Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 i took my work biits out the bedroom and put them outside as thought it was them stinking the room out. csme back in and the smell was still there. took me about 10 minutes to realise the stink was her. was really difficult putting those boots on the following monday. the memory made my skin crawl That's fuckin rough.For clarity I mean her pud, not your actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 Can’t decide whether or not to post things on here regarding sexual shenanigans as they straddle the proud/not proud threads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 13 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Can’t decide whether or not to post things on here regarding sexual shenanigans as they straddle the proud/not proud threads. Very good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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