Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 19 minutes ago, Bully Wee Villa said: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mum were decorating the tree... ...waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple of hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mum called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mum were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... ...his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus. Sounds like something throbber’s dad would do tbf. Tricky to get a scanner down a chimney tbf. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 25 minutes ago, Bully Wee Villa said: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mum were decorating the tree... ...waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple of hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mum called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mum were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... ...his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus. Another Christmas classic! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted December 21, 2018 Author Share Posted December 21, 2018 Steady on Jackiehttps://metro.co.uk/2018/12/20/grandma-says-gatwick-drone-pilot-hanged-punishment-8271307/ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 8 hours ago, Bully Wee Villa said: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mum were decorating the tree... ...waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple of hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mum called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mum were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... ...his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus. 8 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Sounds like something throbber’s dad would do tbf. Tricky to get a scanner down a chimney tbf. Slippery P would have put a pillow over his face just to be sure. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 (edited) I buried my mum on Christmas Eve. Put a slight dampener on that years festivities tbh. Edited December 21, 2018 by Melanius Mullarkey 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 You should have at least waited until she was dead. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gannonball Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I buried my mum on Christmas Eve. A few folk have buried in your mum on xmas eve to be fair 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 7 hours ago, ICTChris said: Steady on Jackiehttps://metro.co.uk/2018/12/20/grandma-says-gatwick-drone-pilot-hanged-punishment-8271307/ "Passengers faced severe disruption as flights were unable to leave the tarmac while others were diverted to alternative airports" You just know the photographer said to the boy on the left "OK, stand over there and pose like you're experiencing severe disruption." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 6 minutes ago, Shotgun said: "Passengers faced severe disruption as flights were unable to leave the tarmac while others were diverted to alternative airports" You just know the photographer said to the boy on the left "OK, stand over there and pose like you're experiencing severe disruption." He's listening to Coldplay, that'll make you look like that. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I buried my mum on Christmas Eve. Put a slight dampener on that years festivities tbh. Best left to the grave diggers in my experience. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 A Canadian cousin of mine came over when his 102 year old mother had a fall and had to go into hospital. Without asking her he sold her house and booked her a slot in a nursing home. At least he didn't he didn't bury her though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 40 minutes ago, Shotgun said: "Passengers faced severe disruption as flights were unable to leave the tarmac while others were diverted to alternative airports" You just know the photographer said to the boy on the left "OK, stand over there and pose like you're experiencing severe disruption." Looks like his mate is phoning him from Wetherspoons down the other end of the terminal.... "Come down if you want but seriously, £11 for a pint of Carling and a fucking bacon sandwich " 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 43 minutes ago, Shotgun said: "Passengers faced severe disruption as flights were unable to leave the tarmac while others were diverted to alternative airports" You just know the photographer said to the boy on the left "OK, stand over there and pose like you're experiencing severe disruption." Loosened his belt to make his crotch look bigger for the picture. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 8 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Loosened his belt to make his crotch look bigger for the picture. ^^^knows all the tricks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 1 hour ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Best left to the grave diggers in my experience. It was their day off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 3 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: It was their day off. That explains it, some shift. I hope there was steak pie left for you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: That explains it, some shift. I hope there was steak pie left for you. I was left with the b*****ding egg and cress sandwiches. Edited December 21, 2018 by Melanius Mullarkey 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 5 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: That explains it, some shift. I hope there was steak pie left for you. In Moray you'd be lucky to get a fish head nibble. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 On 21/12/2018 at 22:17, welshbairn said: In Moray you'd be lucky to get a fish head nibble. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 I buried my mum on Christmas Eve. Put a slight dampener on that years festivities tbh.Selfish cow.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.