Tales of P&B Past

[heedthebaa]

24 minutes ago, Adam said:

Grimbo never confirming who started the fund, oh hell!
 

It was Spartans football academy that started it, then a poster put it in here to get support in the LL forum. I just remember thinking it would end in carnage 

[djchapsticks]

2 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

 

Grimbo started the fire...

 

His pets and house both burned doon

And he got a whip roon

Grimbo started the fire

All his dugs were crispy

But he fucked off to Turkey

[Marshmallo]

40 minutes ago, Francesc Fabregas said:

Leave it with me.

Tinker's cuss needs to be mentioned, either on the board or just said aloud. A great phrase that I use irl day to day.

Edited October 22, 2019 by Marshmallo

[Miguel Sanchez]

On 21/10/2019 at 18:01, Torpar said:

There was a story of one poster, Dundee fan maybe, who watched his dad get beat up, whats the story there? 

This was in 2016, during the Scottish Cup quarter final between Rangers and Dundee. That thread is gone, so I can only presume (S)weeper Dee got it deleted owing to the mass amounts of shame.

On 21/10/2019 at 18:18, ICTChris said:

“Shit flinger” refers to 8Mile who once regaled the forum with a story about some tomfoolery in the showers after he’d played a football match. The high jinks ended with 8Mile pulling faeces from his own bottom throwing it at a team mate while shouting “how’s your touch”.
 

 

On 21/10/2019 at 18:54, Oleksandr said:

I'm sure the story was more that he rinsed his mouth out with the water, didn't drink it if I remember right.

During the (at least the most notable, I'm assuming there was more than one) P&B Subcrawl, Lichtie4Life, aka Donny Arbuthnott, while pished, drank from a puddle. Nobody there liked him.

Also, he currently posts on P&B under the name Oleksandr.

On 21/10/2019 at 18:56, ICTChris said:

 

He didn’t post it in NSFW it was in General Nonsense. He also didn’t say it was his fantasy, he said he thought he could make money out manufacturing them. So he was being entrepreneurial rather than perverted. Maybe.

 

DA Baracus' pram thread was in NSFW. It's called "Awful/upsetting ideas", or similar.

23 hours ago, pub car king said:

Was there not a jobs fan who was hard up and various folk on here chucked him some readies, funnily enough he was never heard from again.

@Bambino7 literally had the weans turned against him. He was a good lad, I hope he's doing well.

23 hours ago, Flybhoy said:

Ah, good old Wisbit.

 

Is he another long gone poster?

wisbit was banned for holocaust denial, after a storied P&B career which featured posting videos of himself playing Football Manager while wearing St. Mirren pyjamas as his mother was in the background, claiming that gravity doesn't exist, and posting a link to a several thousand word blog post about how the Harry Clarke bin lorry crash didn't happen.

23 hours ago, G_Man1985 said:

Who was it who pretended to be a women , and got a man who was ( I think a fraud of some sort) to meet them in a public place?
Came to pie and bovril to basically set up the sting so to speak.

While this story was mostly covered, the man responsible wasn't tagged. I thought it was David W, but no. I'm sure it was David something. The guy who ran one of the parties in the P&B Election.

22 hours ago, RandomGuy. said:

Only thing I remember that hasnt been mentioned is the boy who had about 80,000 posts, and every single one was in Word Association. I'm sure he was banned somehow and I have to wonder how he now spends his days.

Theres always a chance he was an incredibly determined, and pointlessly single minded, bot I suppose.

This was @booitsme7, who was definitely a bot, who was banned for posting tits after being told not to.

22 hours ago, Andrew Wells said:

Not posting anywhere else, I've always wondered how they got themselves banned.

I forget who this was in reference to.

20 hours ago, PWL said:

Was it XBL whos mum and dad got girls drunk in their house for him to have his wicked way with? I'm pretty sure it was an Arbroath poster. 

This was @1320Lichtie. While this interpretation has grown the usual arms and legs you'd get from P&B, the set-up as described was a bit League of Gentlemen in itself.

19 hours ago, Gaz said:

 that was brilliant.

Anyone else remember mhak's Evisu jeans?

13 hours ago, sjc said:

What ever happened to Eoin Doyle?

@Lyle Lanley, a much needed rebranding and seems to have done quite well with it. I'm not sure if his Hibs cup win tattoo still exists. For his sake I hope it doesn't.

12 hours ago, Hammer Jag said:

The Celtic poster who, after being criticised for not attending games, responded by saying he walks past Celtic Park every day. 

@~~~, aka Enrico Annoni. Worth noting he spent about ten pages of the Sportscene thread defending Celtic fans booing the minute's silence at Remembrance Sunday in a game away to Ross County. He then posted a thread in the Platinum forum complaining about being trolled and nothing being done about it. @Rugster gave it the audience it deserved.

10 hours ago, Stellaboz said:

Hibs utterly breaking Sevco at the cup final deserves a mention. There was one female Sevco poster who did a bet or something and went slinking off?

@Solitaire

7 hours ago, Hank Scorpio said:

Alan lithgow chipmunk 

*Alan Lowing chipmunk girlfriend

Alan Lowing was a Rangers youth player. P&B decided to start a rumour he had a girlfriend who looked like a chipmunk, hence this phrase thrown into as many random posts as possible.

6 hours ago, Div said:

The site was created in Jan 2003. I set it up and pretty much left it sitting with no fucker on it.

Scottish Football Online, which was the first "all club" forum then died and a load of Clyde, Falkirk and St.Mirren fans moved into P&B.

At that time we just had one forum which was for the old Division 1.

It grew from there. Coming up for 17 years on it's had a bit of everything.

Through some very dark "upgrades" and major crashes we've come perilously close to losing it all on more than one occasion over the years but we've somehow muddled through and here we are, still going. The site has been busier in 2019 than it has been since it's peak traffic period of 2009 and we are even pretty close to beating that record.

We served 2Tb of content last month to 328,000 unique visitors. The web server handled 62 million requests from just under 4 million page views.

Madness!

 

 

 

Can you tell @The_Kincardine this please, if he's still here.

6 hours ago, alang1993 said:

Who was the poster who was talking about playing with their daughter, then said "Next thing I knew there was toddler vagina in my face"?

The rest of Pie and Bovril were like

@whiskychimp

Genuinely one of the worst things I've ever seen on the internet.

[Miguel Sanchez]

Also re: 8Mile and his shite flinging:

http://www.pieandbovril.com/forum/index.php?/topic/210063-whats-the-worst-thing-youve-seen-posted-on-here/&page=48

Everyone loves a jobby prank or a footballing jobby story! I can think of at least 3! Though the latter two are football-jobby-revenge stories lol! 1 - Playing against Addiewell Amateurs at their park about 5 year ago, they had this huge eared, ugly, muppet who was trying to be the hard man until a pathetic attempt of slide tackle saw him skinned, took him over the touch line, through a pile of dog sh*t that can only have been produced by a Labrador or larger dog. He then got up, shit all over his arm, hand and side of his light blue strip, watched a cross go in, a header put us 3-1 up, then got the worst barrage of laughter & ridiculing from everyone before demanding to be substituted, throwing top away and pissing-off home!! Big Ears The Muppet if you ever read this... G.I.R.F.U.Y ya f@nny!!! 2 - Team mate pissed over another team mate in showers after game. The pisser is quite a hairy fella. While the pisser was washing his hair, the pissed-upon proceeded to pick a nasty big winnit out his arse crack, waited til the pisser was walking out the showers then flicked it onto his back lol! 3 - Walking back to changing rooms after a game, hear my name shouted just behind me. So I turned round, heard 'Hows yer touch!!!??' Before taking a ball full in the nuts from about 5 feet away! Queue laughter from all! So into the changing rooms, and into the showers, which were individual cubicles. While behind the door, I squeezed out a decent enough sized jobby for not-really-needing, opened door, shouted 'Hows yet touch!!!??' and threw the turd at the offender, hitting his ponsy pink YSL shirt, leaving a decent brown skid on the shirt and a decent landing mark on his towel!!! Mick B if you read this... G.I.R.F.U.Y mate!

Here the moment was captured by the unique artistic stylings of @Sloop John B:

 

Also, let us not forget the time someone grassed @Bobby Skidmarks to his work for his posts on here, and the subsequent fallout. @Alan Stubbs remembers.

[Mark Connolly]

Miguel Sanchez - Deadpool guru and P&B Historian.

[Marshmallo]

How did 8Mile ever come back from that? 

[Miguel Sanchez]

2 minutes ago, Marshmallo said:

How did 8Mile ever come back from that? 

The same way he came back from being banned for being mistaken for magee

For claiming to kick a homeless person's (alki junkie) cup away in front of his daughter

For claiming to take pictures of children's trainers

Fair play to the boy, he clearly has no shame. 

[Gordon EF]

4 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

 

27 sec mark  

 

Eta:  I've only just noticed that he has to suddenly stop and pull an awkward face when Murphy quickly turns his head rather unexpectedly.   

*oh crap, erm... scratch face*

I hope with every fibre of my being that somehow, Jim Murphy found out that Ad Lib did that because of P&B, because everyone on here truly relished him getting punted from his seat. And Ad Lib's Mikey Carrick was the physical embodiment of that relish.

[8MileBU]

How did 8Mile ever come back from that? 

Because I didn’t get wound up like a clockwork mouse by some red dots and some fucking photos of Anfield? [emoji1]

[ICTChris]

How did 8Mile ever come back from that? 

In the same way most of the “characters” on here do it -just brass necking it through. Xbl was in here for years after the “averagey looking cocktease” post. Magee is still here after all his pish.

The secret to survival is just not caring about your own personal dignity or credibility. Just look at our political leaders - Johnson, Corbyn et al do the same. Another example of P&B being a valuable sociological barometer.

[Marshmallo]

Just now, 8MileBU said:

 

Because I didn’t get wound up like a clockwork mouse by some red dots and some fucking photos of Anfield?

 

Mate you literally shat in your own hand and threw it at someone because they kicked a football at you. Then you bragged about it online.

[Guest Moomintroll]

[mention=26615]whiskychimp[/mention]
Genuinely one of the worst things I've ever seen on the internet.

You would be a hit on Mastermind with P&B as your specialist subject, or failing that You Bet. That whiskychimp post is the only time I have ever felt despair at being associated with Killie supporters & I have known Gordon Sawers for nearly 30 years.

[Gordon EF]

2 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

 

In the same way most of the “characters” on here do it -just brass necking it through. Xbl was in here for years after the “averagey looking cocktease” post. Magee is still here after all his pish.

The secret to survival is just not caring about your own personal dignity or credibility. Just look at our political leaders - Johnson, Corbyn et al do the same. Another example of P&B being a valuable sociological barometer.

 

Stay strong 8mileBU

[YassinMoutaouakil]

I can't imagine the thought process that leads to you starting a story with the sentence "Everyone loves a jobby prank" and ,instead of immediately deleting it, thinking "Aye, this'll go down well" and writing a paragraph of scatalogical anecdotes.

Was it 8mile that coined "Spunky aids" as well? I can't really remember the context.

[Bobby Skidmarks]

1 minute ago, YassinMoutaouakil said:

I can't imagine the thought process that leads to you starting a story with the sentence "Everyone loves a jobby prank" and ,instead of immediately deleting it, thinking "Aye, this'll go down well" and writing a paragraph of scatalogical anecdotes.

Was it 8mile that coined "Spunky aids" as well? I can't really remember the context.

^^^ arsehole with AiDSy spunk 

Aimed at Mozza. Just because he looks like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia.

[YassinMoutaouakil]

Just now, Bobby Skidmarks said:

^^^ arsehole with AiDSy spunk 

Aimed at Mozza. Just because he looks like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia.

Didn't realise it was aimed at Mozza. Totally justified in that case.

[Guest Moomintroll]

It does seem strange that a thread dedicated to all the P&B Gold moments that we have forgotten, or weren't around for, seems to be destined for P&B Gold. I am convinced there are many more nuggets still to come.

[YassinMoutaouakil]

Just now, Moomintroll said:

It does seem strange that a thread dedicated to all the P&B Gold moments that we have forgotten, or weren't around for, seems to be destined for P&B Gold. I am convinced there are many more nuggets still to come.

I think we need an actual live headsgone in the thread, preferably provoked by a mass brawl. Then we can consign it to Gold.

[8MileBU]

4 minutes ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

Fair play to the boy, he clearly has no shame. 

Yup. Nane ataw.

 

2 minutes ago, Marshmallo said:

Mate you literally shat in your own hand and threw it at someone because they kicked a football at you. Then you bragged about it online.

I’m not the first to join P&B and come out with some utter nonsense, and I dare say I won’t be the last. My first memories of @throbber for example, were his numerous tales of masturbating into a sock that got so bad that his washing machine smelt appalling. Then he bought his sister a dildo for Christmas. 

Still beats getting in a right fucking state over some dots and Liverpool photos.