Complaint Generator

[Arabdownunder]

In a similar vein to the Narrative Device web page, this will generate complaint letters; enter who or what you want to complain about and hey presto!

https://www.pakin.org/complaint https://www.pakin.org/complaint

My complaint about Pie & Bovril

The following are simply some random thoughts that have been rattling about my head of late and that I’d like to let out—a little house cleaning, if you will. Although my approach may appear a bit pedantic, by setting some generative point of view against a structural-taxonomical point of view or vice versa, I intend to argue that back when our policemen were guardians, not enforcers, they would have protected us from Pie & Bovril’s band. Today, it seems that most officers of the law are content to sit back and let Pie & Bovril hornswoggle people into voting against their own self interests. That’s why we must change the gormless paradigm that Pie & Bovril wants us to embrace. A paradigm is the lens by which one views the world and the people in it. If the paradigm is peccable, your life will be peccable, too. Change the paradigm, and you can not only change your life but also create and nurture a true spirit of community. If we’re in that fight to win, we need to get serious about exposing all of Pie & Bovril’s filthy, subversive, and destructive activities. Inevitably, there will be those who think our efforts do not go far enough and those who believe they go too far. In either case, I want to make this clear so that those who do not understand deeper messages embedded within sarcastic irony—and you know who I’m referring to—can process my point. What can I do to prove to you that Pie & Bovril’s ignorant attempts to debunk myths often lead to the perpetuation of them? Show you evidence that its new definition of pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism is certainly in disagreement with its namby-pamby jibes? While that would indubitably help, Pie & Bovril needs to stop living in denial. It needs to wake up and realize that there is an implicit assumption here that intransigent, quarrelsome snobs, who are eager to prove their bona fides to Pie & Bovril’s terrorist organization, often help with utilizing unfathomable brutality against Pie & Bovril’s antagonists. To fully understand that, you need to realize that it follows a dual code of morality—one morality for its fellow vengeful schlumps and another for the rest of the world. This is why Pie & Bovril says it’s going to exclude all people and proposals that oppose its homophobic antics in the immediate years ahead. Is it out of its tetchy mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it’s too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: It doesn’t care about accountability in our public systems. I know I’m oversimplifying here. I’m also surely inviting a dispute or two. However, what I just wrote is necessary to set the stage for a much more important and timely discussion about how Pie & Bovril’s anhedonic view of life leads it to declare martial law, suspend elections, and round up dissidents (i.e., anyone who does not buy its lie that the ideas of freedom and frotteurism are Siamese twins). I suppose it reckons that if it’s irritable and cranky, then everyone else should be, too. The sad thing about that is that Pie & Bovril will exploit public sympathy in order to bolster support for its testy barbs in a heartbeat. All that’s needed to prove this claim is time. Time will reveal that Pie & Bovril says things that go against our deepest-held values. Try to say that too loudly or persistently, though, and watch how Pie & Bovril, as a self-described champion of free speech, handles your freedom of speech. I assure you it won’t be pleasant, but perhaps it will get people talking about how Pie & Bovril’s solutions represent an assault on both reason and liberal democracy. I do not say this as one of those negative critics who can always find something wrong with anything. Rather, I say it as someone who firmly believes that you should be able to live your life the way you want to live it. You shouldn’t have to live in fear of Pie & Bovril treating traditional values as if they were postmodernist crimes. Let me point out that the reader who has followed me through this lengthy letter will have been able to gather an idea of Pie & Bovril’s general character and disposition. Hence, I shall conclude simply by stating that Pie & Bovril’s unsavory remarks have been found incompatible with personal security and the rights of property.

Edited February 7, 2022 by Arabdownunder

[Arch Stanton]

Use paragraphs ya dick!!!

That's my complaint.

[Arabdownunder]

My complaint about Arch Stanton

Before you rant at me about why every point I’m going to bring up is false without even taking the time to read my points, let me just say that Arch Stanton is an enemy to his friends and a friend to his enemies. One of my objectives for this letter is to reverse the course on which Arch’s hypocritical jobations have put us. I can’t be the only person who, upon reading Arch’s latest infelicific writings, thought, Arch’s hot takes have served as a powerful weapon with which detestable, randy layabouts can glamorize drug usage. I assume I’m also not unique in thinking that I want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to present a different paradigm from the typical paradigm of the policy marketplace. I’m talking about presenting a paradigm of morals—of what’s fair, right, and good and not just what is politically appetizing. This new paradigm will require us to spread the word about how amoral stumblebums flock to Arch because they perceive him as the hero who will ultimately deflect the torrentially marketed civic mindlessness and malevolence that’s groping them, goosing them, intimidating them, bamboozling them, indebting them, surveilling them, and, in so doing, imprisoning them. That’s the end of this letter. If I was unable to convince you that Arch Stanton is perfectly willing to show his embarrassingly poor reasoning and warped ethics in print, then you should definitely consider contacting me with your supporting or refuting evidence, opinions, personal stories, etc., so that I can make a better argument in my next letter.

[8MileBU]

13 minutes ago, Arabdownunder said:

My complaint about Arch Stanton

Before you rant at me about why every point I’m going to bring up is false without even taking the time to read my points, let me just say that Arch Stanton is an enemy to his friends and a friend to his enemies. One of my objectives for this letter is to reverse the course on which Arch’s hypocritical jobations have put us. I can’t be the only person who, upon reading Arch’s latest infelicific writings, thought, Arch’s hot takes have served as a powerful weapon with which detestable, randy layabouts can glamorize drug usage. I assume I’m also not unique in thinking that I want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to present a different paradigm from the typical paradigm of the policy marketplace. I’m talking about presenting a paradigm of morals—of what’s fair, right, and good and not just what is politically appetizing. This new paradigm will require us to spread the word about how amoral stumblebums flock to Arch because they perceive him as the hero who will ultimately deflect the torrentially marketed civic mindlessness and malevolence that’s groping them, goosing them, intimidating them, bamboozling them, indebting them, surveilling them, and, in so doing, imprisoning them. That’s the end of this letter. If I was unable to convince you that Arch Stanton is perfectly willing to show his embarrassingly poor reasoning and warped ethics in print, then you should definitely consider contacting me with your supporting or refuting evidence, opinions, personal stories, etc., so that I can make a better argument in my next letter.

 

[tamthebam]

I think some of the fuds I deal with have been using this....

[Scotty Tunbridge]

Boring.

[BFTD]

That OP reads like several folk from the Politics board got together and composed a post while under electro-shock.

Kudos on mentioning frotteurism, however.

[BFTD]

I intend to slip into retirement by sending truthbombs like this to the local press:

You won’t hear about this in the media, but I sometimes have to bite my tongue pretty hard to avoid saying what I really feel about Rabbi Jesus H Christ, Esq. Let me cut to the chase: Jesus has certainly never given evidence of thinking extensively. Or at all, for that matter. In order for us to realize more happiness in our lives we need to understand that Jesus’s trained seals have tried, sometimes successfully and sometimes not, to create a beachhead for organized historical negationism. What typically stymies them in this quest is their failure to consider the fact that Jesus has—not once, but several times—been able to organize a whispering campaign against me without anyone stopping him. How long can that go on? As long as his polyloquent prevarications are kept on life support. That’s why we have to pull the plug on them and pass out flyers in public places that illustrate how if anyone should propose a practical scheme for beginning a long overdue national conversation about how to dole out acerbic criticism of Jesus and his phalanx of obtuse, ill-bred operatives, I should be quite disposed to incur almost any degree of expense to accomplish that object. In the meantime, let me point out that Jesus’s sordid game of chess—the querulous chess of zabernism—has continued for far too long. It’s time to checkmate this incoherent widdiful and show him that if we take his harangues to their logical conclusion, we see that some day, he will undermine the foundations of society until a single thrust suffices to make the entire edifice collapse. Let me leave you with a message that is as real as it gets. Rabbi Jesus H Christ, Esq.’s practices have termagant overtones.