The Banter Players

[Brian Graham’s Lovely Hair]

19 minutes ago, Empty It said:

Surprised no Hibs fans have mentioned Riordan,  O'connor or Feruz.

I thought about O’Connor, specifically spelling his false name wrong when he got stopped by the police, but couldn’t remember if that was when he was at Hibs. I think it was when he wasn’t playing for us that most of his banter went on. 

[Coventry Saint]

Everyone knows this story, but Steven Thompson threw a corner flag like a spear at John McGinn and it pierced his thigh.

"Why did you do that, Steven?"

Spoiler

 

[LIVIFOREVER]

20 minutes ago, Brian Graham’s Lovely Hair said:

I thought about O’Connor, specifically spelling his false name wrong when he got stopped by the police, but couldn’t remember if that was when he was at Hibs. I think it was when he wasn’t playing for us that most of his banter went on. 

Yep, contract expired with Hibs just as his court case came up. Scotland player Garry O'Connor found guilty in drug case - BBC News

Gave a false name, spelled it wrong, then got caught after trying to leg it, the unfit fat fecker.

[lennyzer0]

3 hours ago, The Wrong Car said:

I'd put Dolly Menga in here. 

- Scored two goals against Rangers and Hearts

I was at the Hearts game and the consensus round me was that Livingston had unearthed an absolute diamond.

[The Wrong Car]

2 minutes ago, lennyzer0 said:

I was at the Hearts game and the consensus round me was that Livingston had unearthed an absolute diamond.

I don't think I've ever seen a player have so much ability, yet so little intelligence on the pitch. 

A genuine case of "not even he know's what he'll do next"

[Salvo Montalbano]

I know we're not in the division at the moment, but we were when Youseff Rossi pitched up for us. A Moroccan Internationalist who was in their France 98 squad, he absolutely looked the part and we signed from NEC in the Netherlands where Jimmy Calderwood had obviously heard of him. 

He was injured when he signed, so eventually he pulled on a Pars shirt in a Reserve/Under 21 game v St Johnstone. He was sent off in that game, I think for a wild hack after about 25 minutes. He eventually got fit and played a few games and looked really good alongside Andrius Skerla (including a 0-0 v Rangers I think, where a photo of him booting someone up the arse came from) but got sent off again at Tannadice for two yellows. Initially he refused to leave the park and after being persuaded to go, he stuck the finger up at the away fans in the Fair Play Stand.

He then wanted away and took the huff - I think he was AWOL for over a year and FIFA got involved and gave him a Worldwide ban. The matter was settled and he joined Raja Casablanca in his homeland, a club we had played in a Friendly over in Africa while he was with us. The Skerla-Rossi partnership could have been a modern day Miller-McLeish but while Skerla remains a Pars legend to this day, Rossi is only remembered for being a mentalist and scoring a superb curling effort in the deep fog in a 3-2 win over Aberdeen at East End Park where neither sets of fans could see the opposite end of the pitch.

[LiviLion]

4 minutes ago, lennyzer0 said:

I was at the Hearts game and the consensus round me was that Livingston had unearthed an absolute diamond.

1 minute ago, The Wrong Car said:

I don't think I've ever seen a player have so much ability, yet so little intelligence on the pitch. 

A genuine case of "not even he know's what he'll do next"

More often than not he looked like an absolute superstar... until he got to the byline. At that point he'd usually keep running it out for a goal kick, after a few stepovers.

[JohnC]

For me it has to be Filip Sebo.

One of Le Guen's star signings, or so it was thought.

Fans would look up YouTube videos of him scoring cracking goals for previous clubs.  Strong, direct and well built.. he was going to be fantastic!

In terms of banter, there were cries of "Seeeebooooooo!" any time he skyed or spectacularly missed a shot.  Over time, this chant was extended to others players, with "Seeeeboooooo!" ringing round the stadium when anyone widely missed a shot at all.  Instead of fans being angry, we just accepted it and laughed.

There was also the added humour of all the cheesy photos with him posing with his top off.

Seemed a genuinely nice, friendly guy, which was appropriate considering he did his best work for Rangers in friendlies!  He often had a smile on his face and you couldn't hate him, as he always gave his all, but definitely a banter player.

 

[Guest]

Karim Belmokhtar is a good shout. Played for, I think, Edinburgh, Peterhead and Clyde. Scored several goals for all of them and then disappeared off the face of the Earth, missing training and just not turning up. Happened at all three clubs. Weird.

[DA Baracus]

14 minutes ago, Salvo Montalbano said:

I know we're not in the division at the moment, but we were when Youseff Rossi pitched up for us. A Moroccan Internationalist who was in their France 98 squad, he absolutely looked the part and we signed from NEC in the Netherlands where Jimmy Calderwood had obviously heard of him. 

He was injured when he signed, so eventually he pulled on a Pars shirt in a Reserve/Under 21 game v St Johnstone. He was sent off in that game, I think for a wild hack after about 25 minutes. He eventually got fit and played a few games and looked really good alongside Andrius Skerla (including a 0-0 v Rangers I think, where a photo of him booting someone up the arse came from) but got sent off again at Tannadice for two yellows. Initially he refused to leave the park and after being persuaded to go, he stuck the finger up at the away fans in the Fair Play Stand.

He then wanted away and took the huff - I think he was AWOL for over a year and FIFA got involved and gave him a Worldwide ban. The matter was settled and he joined Raja Casablanca in his homeland, a club we had played in a Friendly over in Africa while he was with us. The Skerla-Rossi partnership could have been a modern day Miller-McLeish but while Skerla remains a Pars legend to this day, Rossi is only remembered for being a mentalist and scoring a superb curling effort in the deep fog in a 3-2 win over Aberdeen at East End Park where neither sets of fans could see the opposite end of the pitch.

Seemingly he was rather mis-sold Dunfermline, East End Park and Scottish football in general. He was apparently told East End was circa 20k and was full each game.

Mind he injured himself on a sprinkler as well. Players from the time who speak of him say he was immensely talented but an utter mentalist.

[Dons_1988]

2 hours ago, coprolite said:

 

A striker ffs

Senior career*
Years	Team	Apps	(Gls)
1998–2002	Manchester City	2	(0)
2000	→ Oxford United (loan)	3	(0)
2001	→ Halifax Town (loan)	7	(0)
2002–2003	Aberdeen	33	(5)
2003–2005	Mossley
2005–2006	F.C. United of Manchester[1]	5	(0)
International career
1997	England Schoolboys
	England U18

Good song though 

[thisGRAEME]

12 minutes ago, Autistisches Nilpferd said:

Karim Belmokhtar is a good shout. Played for, I think, Edinburgh, Peterhead and Clyde. Scored several goals for all of them and then disappeared off the face of the Earth, missing training and just not turning up. Happened at all three clubs. Weird.

His debut for City at clyde was a nonsense:

 

 

[Suspect Device]

2 hours ago, coprolite said:

 

A striker ffs

Senior career*
Years	Team	Apps	(Gls)
1998–2002	Manchester City	2	(0)
2000	→ Oxford United (loan)	3	(0)
2001	→ Halifax Town (loan)	7	(0)
2002–2003	Aberdeen	33	(5)
2003–2005	Mossley
2005–2006	F.C. United of Manchester[1]	5	(0)
International career
1997	England Schoolboys
	England U18

Still sung about 20 years later. Legendary. 

[Hoose Rice]

Pa Kujabi.  The Gambian Roberto Carlos who's contribution to us was giving away a penalty and getting sent off against the scarf twirling...in 2012 and showing us why he was the Gambian Roberto Carlos:

 

 

[Kapowzer]

This article which must have surfaced on here in the past has a few stories already mentioned. Cumdog features three times …..

https://www.dreamteamfc.com/c/comedy/351905/24-times-scottish-football-was-the-funniest-place-in-the-world/amp/

[Kapowzer]

Surprised no Celtic fan has suggested Gravesen but that would be an omission you watch Ferry and the Roaster.

Paulo Di Canio worth a shout too but mostly after he left.

[Derry Alli]

Jas Cummings - celebrated promotion by swinging on a chandelier and ripping the shite out of McPake in front of him.

Simon Ferry - was finished when he signed, injuries ruined him and as he slowly began accepting that he - began having a laugh on the pitch. Was brilliant to see.

Luka Tankulic - very decent olayer technically but was an even better ride, apparently. Turned up, shagged 75% of Dundee's female student population and left after about 6 months. Jammy, good looking bastirt.

There's another one in Steven Caulker who had played for England, Liverpool and QPR and expected people to believe he wasn't Caulker, he was "Marcos". Ruined numerous hotel rooms, banned from the casinos. He came to Dundee with a problem in life and sadly he never got the help he needed. I'm glad he seems to have since and is doing great.

Edited March 3, 2023 by Derry Alli

[Savage Henry]

6 hours ago, Comrie said:

Martin Hugo Prest. Scored a banging hattrick, did nothing else. 

Amick Chiani- danced on a table post challenge cup win.

Scotsport as was missed two of three goals, as I recall.

[captainkev]

Wato Kuate: Turned up out of nowhere mid-way through the 2016/17 season. Played as a trialist in Sean Dillon's testimonial and had an ego the size of Jupiter. Did little of note until scoring a screamer in a play-off game against Morton and celebrated it in front of the Eddie Thompson stand rather... uniquely.

Two games later in the first leg of the play-off final against Accies and he looked hopelessly out of his depth. He started picking arguments with his own teammates who, by this point, were barely bothering to hide the fact they thought he was a prize bell-end. Eventually he had to be mercy subbed to save him further embarrassment, which he took as a most grievous insult. On his way off, he picked a fight with Mark Durnan and began sarcastically applauding the fans in the Eddie Thompson stand as they booed him off the pitch. His contract was terminated before the 2nd leg was even played.

These days he plies his trade in the heady heights of Serie D, for a team so prestigious they don't even have a Wikipedia page.

What a guy.

[ATLIS]

Signing Stokes at the start of a international break to replace Dykes and then releasing him by the end of the international break was some banter to be fair. Last heard of being caught up in a drug bust wasn't he?