Bradford-Rover Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 I cant help it if I find you irresistible Would be a all-over body massage btw 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bairnbabe Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 I cant help it if I find you irresistible Would be a all-over body massage btw From a fifer? Im no that desperate!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bradford-Rover Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 (edited) From a fifer? Im no that desperate!! You don't know what you are misssing.................. Edited November 15, 2006 by Steven 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 (edited) #1 Cold callers: Last night, me, cooking my chilli and listening to The Archers.... Ruth, what's wrong? Oh, David...I'm so sorry.. What....you mean you've been seeing someone else...? Who?..it's not... Aww no... ...Sam? NO! It can't be...tell me it's not true... Offstage the phone rings. Me (annoyed): Yes, hello. Caller: Hello. Can I speak to the householder. Me (desparate to get back to The Archers and my chilli before it burns): Yes, what? Caller: I'm Angela from Weathershield. Can I talk to you about our new offers for... Me (incandescant with rage): Listen. The Archers is on, David's just found out about Ruth's affair with Sam, so no you can't -GOODBYE! #2 Incompetent newsreaders: Me, snuggled in darkness under the duvet early this morning, toasty warm and snoozing gently with Radio 4 mumbling in the background on the clock radio alarm... Jim Naughtie:....and we'll be talking to John Reid later in in the programme. And now the time is a quarter to nine... Me: Mmmph, WHA... (leaps bolt upright, scattering duvet and cats to the floor, heart pounding and eyes popping) Sarah Montagu: SEVEN, Jim, quarter to seven! Jim Naughtie: Oh yes, sorry about that. Sarah Montague: Wakey, wakey everyone.... b*****ds!!! Edited November 15, 2006 by Kilt 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CooCoothenoo Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 People who park their car diagonally across two spaces, especially outside my house. The culprit has a friendly note on his windscreen just in case they are in any doubt that they are indeed a muppet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 People who park their car diagonally across two spaces, especially outside my house. The culprit has a friendly note on his windscreen just in case they are in any doubt that they are indeed a muppet. Just to ensure they do it EVERY SINGLE TIME from now on....... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CooCoothenoo Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 Just to ensure they do it EVERY SINGLE TIME from now on....... I can see the car from where I'm sitting. I'm hoping to catch a word with them 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CooCoothenoo Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 People who park in disabled spaces outside superstores so they can just "nip in to buy something" I spotted one at Homebase Falkirk last week and stuck a note under his windscreen wiper Can you not read you ignorant FcukWit? Not very adult but I felt better for it. You were only stating the truth. F*** being nice to the a***holes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onejamesgrady Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 People who park in disabled spaces outside superstores so they can just "nip in to buy something" I spotted one at Homebase Falkirk last week and stuck a note under his windscreen wiper Can you not read you ignorant FcukWit? Not very adult but I felt better for it. Good on ya. My mum, who's 82 and walks with a stick, recently acquired a disabled badge and it's been a pointless exercise due to the fact all the spaces are always full of non-disabled selfish f*ckers 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whistle Blower Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 People who park in disabled spaces outside superstores so they can just "nip in to buy something" Our esteemed ex manager used to do this whilst using his company car with his name plastered all over it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 I can see the car from where I'm sitting. I'm hoping to catch a word with them You're quite right too. However people get very defensive when any aspect of their control over a motor vehicle is criticised. Be prepared for them to react in a negative fashion. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ladyfan Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 You're quite right too. However people get very defensive when any aspect of their control over a motor vehicle is criticised. Be prepared for them to react in a negative fashion. I'm thinking of getting a batch of stickers made up saying 'IF YOU TAKE MY ILLNESS YOU CAN HAVE MY PARKING SPACE'. Some bloke down south did just that and plastered it over their windscreens! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bradford-Rover Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 Our esteemed ex manager used to do this whilst using his company car with his name plastered all over it. Not very bright was he During some games when he was manager I was so frustrated he would have been walking with a stick if I had been closer to him Also I'm sure somebody who was deaf, dumb & blind could have done a better job than the job Dazza did with us. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
centralparker Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 Mind you, some of the "disabled" drivers are just con-artists with nothing wrong with them. Or at least nothing stopping them from walking 30 yards. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spanky Rodriguez Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 Mind you, some of the "disabled" drivers are just con-artists with nothing wrong with them. Or at least nothing stopping them from walking 30 yards. Gareth Keenan came up with an idea to combat these con artists Gareth: When they go down to the DSS to make a claim, then they should set off a fire alarm, a fake fire alarm - everyone legs it out the office, leaving them there. If they're fake, they'll be up running with you. If they're real, they'll be left there screaming for help. Then you just come back in and say "It's alright, don't cry. It's just a test, you've past. Here's your money." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ladyfan Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 Mind you, some of the "disabled" drivers are just con-artists with nothing wrong with them. Or at least nothing stopping them from walking 30 yards. 'What are relapses and remissions? Many people call a relapse an 'attack' as this describes the period of time when they experience new problems or begin to feel unwell. Medical professionals define a relapse as the occurrence of new or old symptoms that last more than 24 hours in the absence of a change in core body temperature or infection. Relapses usually begin gradually over hours or days. They can last for any length of time, but average 4 to 6 weeks. Relapses can vary from mild to severe. At their worst, acute relapses may need hospital treatment. A remission is the period of time when symptoms settle down or disappear. They can last for any length of time, sometimes years.' And some people don't have anything that flashes on top of their head when they are not well but are just as entitled to the badge as the people who have the orange and purple spots. Never judge a book by it's cover. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whistle Blower Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 Mind you, some of the "disabled" drivers are just con-artists with nothing wrong with them. Or at least nothing stopping them from walking 30 yards. Why not follow them home, and paint over the 2 D's in the Disabled that is painted on the ground outside their house. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
centralparker Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 Although you can't deny that there are cheats in the system. I worked in a Post Office and paid out disability benefit to lots of people who were also working on the side and - in one extreme case - even playing in a Junior Cup final. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 Although you can't deny that there are cheats in the system. I worked in a Post Office and paid out disability benefit to lots of people who were also working on the side and - in one extreme case - even playing in a Junior Cup final. There is such a thing as mental disabiltiy! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pollymac Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 There is such a thing as mental disabiltiy! Ach, we're no going on about Celtic fans on the dole again are we? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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