An Sionnach Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Grown men who really should act their age and keep their ill-informed comments to themselves. Was it something I said?! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reina Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 I thought it was funny.More bank rants please Monster. I wasn't talking about Monster..... Was it something I said?! ...or you, Kilt. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Grown men who really should act their age and keep their ill-informed comments to themselves. Sorry ma'am. I probably should know better really. Quality rant. But just how do you annoy a meal, either on wheels or on foot? I meant the meals on wheels delivery person, as you well know. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larbert_Par Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 I thought it was funny.More bank rants please Monster. I agree. Fantastic rant 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reina Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 It was indeed a brilliant rant, Monster 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larbert_Par Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Petty thing getting on my nerves! Been in Uni since 9am and have just completed one assignment for Friday, got to do another one now and I have an assessment tomorrow. Oh happy days. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bairnbabe Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Right.Time for another bank rant. Why is it when banks talk about closing provincial branches they claim it's because they are losing money, when the easy solution is not to employ four muppets to wander around impersonating goldfish behind the counter and leave an (admittedly attractive) obviously bemused teen serving behind the counter? Every time I walk into that branch I cringe if there's a pensioner ahead of me. Today was no different. Elegantly clad in his beige fedora and silver Hi-Tec trainers, todays specimen was queuing to ask two questions so fundamental to his very existence that I'm amazed he hadn't died with excitement while waiting to get it off his wheezy chest. Firstly: "Hen, I've changed the branch of my account from Johnstone to Troon, will I still be able to take money out of it if I'm ever back in Johnstone?" Now, if you do not know the answer to this question without having to ask it, I would question the legality of you having power of attorney over your own affairs at all. Surely pensioners this lonely and stupid have meals on wheels to annoy with this sort of inane shite? You'd think so, but no: he continued unabashed: "Hen, can I change the date of a direct debit?" Fair enough, I thought, that could be crucial if you want to pay a bill. I should have known not to be so tolerant. The glaikit Britney behind the counter asks him why he wanted to bring it forward, clearly thinking he must want it to come out after his pension is in his account....again, an act of sheer misplaced optimism: "Ah want it oot on the 19th because that's the day it's come oot for 45 years" Oh, well why didn't you fucking well say so then? It's a family fucking tradition now, isn't it?: "Remember Jeannie and come up on the 19th, that's the 45th anniversary of the very day my house insurance comes oot the bank. We're huvin' oatcakes!" Just fucking DIE!!!!!!! Anyway, I'm purple with rage at this point and I think nothing can ever annoy me more than a pensioner. Shouldn't tempt fate really, should I? There's only one woman ahead of me in the queue now, but she's a beige person. Y'know, respectably dressed, but just a little too many pastel colours in there to be anything other than a stepford wife yeah? So she tootles: "Can I make an international money transfer?" Just my luck, Shitney Spears on mogadon has to go through the back to find a form for NIMBY woman to fill in, so it's another 3 minutes for that, but at least she'll f**k off and fill it in and I'll complete the arduous task of putting a cheque into the company account. WILL I f**k. AGAIN. "Oh, a form? Oh dear! Well, just give me £2000 out of this account then." What the f**k are you going to do you mad bint? Get it abroad by carrier pigeon? Tie the wad of notes to its leg and make the poor thing flap all the way to wherever your privately educated overpriviledged sprogs are enjoying their gap year? JESUS WEPT!!!!! Finally, praise Allah, I'm at the counter. Now I don't know if I did what I did next for devilment or as a kind of catharsis, but I regret it now anyway. I said: "Could I deposit this cheque please, then draw a money order to go to Jupiter but it MUST go via Pluto and while on its way change my entire direct debit set up, because the current dates are aggravating my lumbago" Shitney looks at me like I've just taken a dump on her chest. I quickly realised I wasn't dealing with someone who was at the front desk for her charm and intellect. So I added: "Sorry, I'm just kidding. Just the cheque please." She said: "I'm very sorry for the wait, sir" The way she spat the 'sir' at me through gritted teeth made me realise a sharp exit was in order. I hate banks. Thanks for brightening up my day! That is quality!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 It was indeed a brilliant rant, Monster I thought it had annoyed you! I must be feeling guilty for further flustering that poor girl. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bairnbabe Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Petty thing getting on my nerves!Been in Uni since 9am and have just completed one assignment for Friday, got to do another one now and I have an assessment tomorrow. Oh happy days. So glad it aint just me thats got loads to do. Mind you, two of them will take 10 mins max, the other one is a report thats got to be 2000 words long and very repetitive. Who the feck thinks up these assessments? Totally ludicrous and sheer waste of time especially this year. Who really needs to know about languague/literacy and numeracy. Or the Curriculum, or Teamwork. This year should solely be based on practical work with maybe the odd bit of theory linked in, such as Child Protection and Behaviour. Ahhh thats better, now I'm away to do some work. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larbert_Par Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 So glad it aint just me thats got loads to do. Mind you, two of them will take 10 mins max, the other one is a report thats got to be 2000 words long and very repetitive. Who the feck thinks up these assessments? Totally ludicrous and sheer waste of time especially this year. Who really needs to know about languague/literacy and numeracy. Or the Curriculum, or Teamwork. This year should solely be based on practical work with maybe the odd bit of theory linked in, such as Child Protection and Behaviour. Ahhh thats better, now I'm away to do some work. Though the assignments I'm doing are 1500 and 1200 words respectively, I have to get on with it, fair enough. What does annoy is in my Magazine writing class we're being made to write and hand in a whole magazine (including front cover) which won't even go towards our mark and we have assignments to do on top of it! I mean, what is the bloody point? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 the other one is a report thats got to be 2000 words long and very repetitive. Write a report that is say 500 words long and repeat it 4 times or have I taken you far too literally there? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bairnbabe Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 What does annoy is in my Magazine writing class we're being made to write and hand in a whole magazine (including front cover) which won't even go towards our mark and we have assignments to do on top of it! I mean, what is the bloody point? Gives the lecturers something to do, and make them look busy with marking and reading etc. Applying extra pressure when its so not needed. I could go on, but i'm not going into another rant. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Inferior wordsmiths whose regional satire poetry in their sig is nowhere near as good as mine. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bairnbabe Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 (edited) Write a report that is say 500 words long and repeat it 4 times or have I taken you far too literally there? Edited April 25, 2007 by bairnbabe 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Inferior wordsmiths whose regional satire poetry in their sig is nowhere near as good as mine. I thought mine was genius for the 2 minutes it took me to come up with it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whistle Blower Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 I thought mine was genius for the 2 minutes it took me to come up with it. As a Fifer living in Ayr, it looks like I am well fcuked up 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayrgirl Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Right.Time for another bank rant. Why is it when banks talk about closing provincial branches they claim it's because they are losing money, when the easy solution is not to employ four muppets to wander around impersonating goldfish behind the counter and leave an (admittedly attractive) obviously bemused teen serving behind the counter? Every time I walk into that branch I cringe if there's a pensioner ahead of me. Today was no different. Elegantly clad in his beige fedora and silver Hi-Tec trainers, todays specimen was queuing to ask two questions so fundamental to his very existence that I'm amazed he hadn't died with excitement while waiting to get it off his wheezy chest. Firstly: "Hen, I've changed the branch of my account from Johnstone to Troon, will I still be able to take money out of it if I'm ever back in Johnstone?" Now, if you do not know the answer to this question without having to ask it, I would question the legality of you having power of attorney over your own affairs at all. Surely pensioners this lonely and stupid have meals on wheels to annoy with this sort of inane shite? You'd think so, but no: he continued unabashed: "Hen, can I change the date of a direct debit?" Fair enough, I thought, that could be crucial if you want to pay a bill. I should have known not to be so tolerant. The glaikit Britney behind the counter asks him why he wanted to bring it forward, clearly thinking he must want it to come out after his pension is in his account....again, an act of sheer misplaced optimism: "Ah want it oot on the 19th because that's the day it's come oot for 45 years" Oh, well why didn't you fucking well say so then? It's a family fucking tradition now, isn't it?: "Remember Jeannie and come up on the 19th, that's the 45th anniversary of the very day my house insurance comes oot the bank. We're huvin' oatcakes!" Just fucking DIE!!!!!!! Anyway, I'm purple with rage at this point and I think nothing can ever annoy me more than a pensioner. Shouldn't tempt fate really, should I? There's only one woman ahead of me in the queue now, but she's a beige person. Y'know, respectably dressed, but just a little too many pastel colours in there to be anything other than a stepford wife yeah? So she tootles: "Can I make an international money transfer?" Just my luck, Shitney Spears on mogadon has to go through the back to find a form for NIMBY woman to fill in, so it's another 3 minutes for that, but at least she'll f**k off and fill it in and I'll complete the arduous task of putting a cheque into the company account. WILL I f**k. AGAIN. "Oh, a form? Oh dear! Well, just give me £2000 out of this account then." What the f**k are you going to do you mad bint? Get it abroad by carrier pigeon? Tie the wad of notes to its leg and make the poor thing flap all the way to wherever your privately educated overpriviledged sprogs are enjoying their gap year? JESUS WEPT!!!!! Finally, praise Allah, I'm at the counter. Now I don't know if I did what I did next for devilment or as a kind of catharsis, but I regret it now anyway. I said: "Could I deposit this cheque please, then draw a money order to go to Jupiter but it MUST go via Pluto and while on its way change my entire direct debit set up, because the current dates are aggravating my lumbago" Shitney looks at me like I've just taken a dump on her chest. I quickly realised I wasn't dealing with someone who was at the front desk for her charm and intellect. So I added: "Sorry, I'm just kidding. Just the cheque please." She said: "I'm very sorry for the wait, sir" The way she spat the 'sir' at me through gritted teeth made me realise a sharp exit was in order. I hate banks. At least I don't have to listen to this tonight! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 At least I don't have to listen to this tonight! Listen? You? Aye, right. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayrgirl Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Listen? You?Aye, right. Did someone say something? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Did someone say something? I have no idea. I did type something, thicko. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.