JamboMikey Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Mines is roughly 7 inches flaccid and 21 inches erect. Is this a decent size? ^ Button on a fur coat type affair, IMO. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I blew off a curry with workmates to spend the night with my girlfriend. Got home and alls fine until she starts cooking and cuts her finger. In my nice guy mode I hunt for plasters without success before fashioning one out of kitchen roll and sellotape. A little bit of blood starts showing on the kitchen roll as it soaks it up so I get told it needs more, I disagree. Next thing I know she's saying I was taking the piss and claimed I told her to man up, when in fact all I had said was "nah". So now I've no food getting cooked and shes locked herself in the bedroom in a mood which is likely to last a few days, meaning any plans for a night out tomorrow will also be sabotaged and I'll likely have to sleep in the spare room. So aye, I agree Evening Primrose Oil is said to be the thing to mitigate this type of situation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Mines is roughly 7 inches flaccid and 21 inches erect. Is this a decent size?I wish I had it, instead of this monster. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 One divorce on friendly terms One Died One still going. Nope, you lose ^^^^One foot in the grave... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 ^^^^One foot in the grave... I don't believe it 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Bloody hell guys. Some of us been married 3 times (so far), you're just so much a bunch of wet fannies "ooooh better not upset her" american sit-com-type-wet-twats! You're all whoever the wet c**t from Friends was that wanted to shag the one with the hair. Pussies! As a rule of thumb I don't take relationship advice from people on an Internet forum about football. I'm sure your advice was of the highest calibre though And she apologised to me last night before going to bed. A stressful day at work caused her to seethe at the world and I was the first person she saw, so I'll take it on the chin since its almost Easter time and I'll possibly get an extra egg for this 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 As a rule of thumb I don't take relationship advice from people on an Internet forum about football. I'm sure your advice was of the highest calibre though And she apologised to me last night before going to bed. A stressful day at work caused her to seethe at the world and I was the first person she saw, so I'll take it on the chin since its almost Easter time and I'll possibly get an extra egg for this Does she wear a blindfold at work? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Does she wear a blindfold at work? Not that I'm aware of 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
die hard doonhamer Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 As a rule of thumb I don't take relationship advice from people on an Internet forum about football. I'm sure your advice was of the highest calibre though And she apologised to me last night before going to bed. A stressful day at work caused her to seethe at the world and I was the first person she saw, so I'll take it on the chin since its almost Easter time and I'll possibly get an extra egg for this Does she wear a blindfold at work? Only for special requests 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smurph Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 There's a very good chance that I'm going to miss the game that sees us win the league, providing we don't lose any games and Morton have another blip. I actually hope we lose a game so I don't miss it... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capybara Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 People who reply "im good" when asked how they are. Im not sure when this started, but it is bad. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reynard Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Got my brother in law and his tribe staying with us for the week. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffcsam Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Got my brother in law and his tribe staying with us for the week. On a similar note, my Aunt (who stays in Essex) is coming to stay with us on Thursday.She is a tad mental, and not in a good way. Hate saying that about family but it's true 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reynard Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 On a similar note, my Aunt (who stays in Essex) is coming to stay with us on Thursday. She is a tad mental, and not in a good way. Hate saying that about family but it's true It's horrific. There is five of them as well, three weans to destroy the place. It actually costs us a fucking fortune to feed the b*****ds, they never lift a finger to help clean the place either. I fucking hate it. I will be working strange hours next week. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffcsam Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 It's horrific. There is five of them as well, three weans to destroy the place. It actually costs us a fucking fortune to feed the b*****ds, they never lift a finger to help clean the place either. I fucking hate it. I will be working strange hours next week. Do u need an apprentice 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reynard Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Do u need an apprentice The other petty thing that has got on my nerves is that I banked shitloads of wedge on Tuesday morning. All in cheques, and the fuckers won't clear until Thursday. f**k right off banksters! All the direct debits come merrily out during bank holidays of course. c***s 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Went to the shop for my morning papers and find something for lunch, walking past the crisps I see johnnies onion rings, a favourite from my youth, so I grab a packet, manage to walk home, and go to open them up, only to realise that I've picked up a bag of cheese & onion squares that some turd has placed in the onion rings. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Apologies if this double banger has appeared in the previous 2,077 pages. I must have the look of someone who needs a drink, so in a busy pub last night, I got served before the guy who was waiting before me. I graciously said, in a loud clear voice, that the chap next to me should be served first. The p***k then proceeds to order an Oliver Reed sized drinks list, and doesn't even acknowledge my magnanimity. Then to add insult to injury, the dopey barwench then completely dinghies me to serve a bunch of weans who'd just arrived. Oh, and another one. I used the word "niggardly" at a party last night, only be told off by some arsehole about my racist language. Bunch of fannies. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xbl Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Every time I walk to my office, I see this sign: We are supposed to be a fucking university, and every time I see that sign, I die a little inside. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Tippex an "i" between the c and the e, then sit back and laugh as hordes of Hamilton fans sit patiently in the auditorium waiting for something to happen. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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