endieinreekie Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 We have this dick who's 53 and still does his shopping at USC. Comes in on a daily basis wearing Diesel T-shirts and GStar jeans etc... Instead of "See you tomorrow" or the like, he likes to depart with "Catch ye, Versace!" I want to kick him in the mouth every time... Hurl a turd at him 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endieinreekie Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Nah.Boot him in the baws then 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ginger Prince Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I bought the US Office series 1-5 boxset out of HMV recently for £19.99. Go in today to try and get the rest and series 6 on its own is £15.99!?How is that even possible?? Should've just got Netflix instead. #schoolboyerror 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 The girl from the office at work. She always comes into the canteen at lunchtime to make her and the bosses' coffee, which is fair enough, but she always "sings" some crappy song when the kettle is boiling. I'm in the canteen to enjoy my peace and quiet, not to have it shattered by a warbling bint. She's lucky she's not in St Johns hospital with 3rd degree burns from a freshly boiled kettle. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajwffc Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Not getting replies when you apply for a job. I am losing hope. Going for an interview after traveling 300 mile + is worse. But the majority of decent companies will at least send a reply. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 An P&B rage psychiatrist would do really well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jupiter Jazz Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Should've just got Netflix instead. #schoolboyerror Prefer the hard copy. #oldschool 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Jordan Henderson's wee monkey face. Reported for racism 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayrgirl Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 The NHS have brought in a new online application system which is great because it gives you an online account and saves all your details apart from your personal statement so you don't have to type everything in each time. However, despite the fact that applications are dealt with centrally, all going through the one office who will have your contact details, including the email address you signed up with, they don't contact you unless you've got an interview. How difficult would it be to have a standard email fired out to non-successful applicants? It's incredibly irritating. It only saves it for so long as well then it wipes it out! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I was at the darts yesterday. Started at 11 a.m. with a beer on the train. Ended in a descent into near-insanity involving White Russians until the place ran out of milk, Buckie Bombs until the place ran out of energy drink, then the Buckie Bombs came with CIDER instead of energy drink. This led to falling asleep on a floor in Partick, having about five shites this morning, getting the fear big time, the shakes, paranoia and a wave of exhaustion that would make M.E. sufferers look like 100m runners. I'm now wide awake in a kind of zombie-like trance after a day of the wife ripping the piss out of me (entirely deserved) and several hallucinations about giraffes and all sorts. In fairness, I'm not sure if the giraffe one was actually a hallucination or if I was just talking to and hugging my own giraffe. Best line of the day yesterday: "Monster, I beat her at badminton so she's agreed to take it up the arse!" Indeed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ginger Prince Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Being shattered all day yet still not being able to fucking sleep. And yes, I know that being on here isn't helping 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuzzyAffro Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I was at the darts yesterday. Started at 11 a.m. with a beer on the train. Ended in a descent into near-insanity involving White Russians until the place ran out of milk, Buckie Bombs until the place ran out of energy drink, then the Buckie Bombs came with CIDER instead of energy drink. This led to falling asleep on a floor in Partick, having about five shites this morning, getting the fear big time, the shakes, paranoia and a wave of exhaustion that would make M.E. sufferers look like 100m runners. I'm now wide awake in a kind of zombie-like trance after a day of the wife ripping the piss out of me (entirely deserved) and several hallucinations about giraffes and all sorts. In fairness, I'm not sure if the giraffe one was actually a hallucination or if I was just talking to and hugging my own giraffe. Best line of the day yesterday: "Monster, I beat her at badminton so she's agreed to take it up the arse!" Indeed. Yet cannabis is illegal go figue. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SodjesSixteenIncher Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Not getting replies when you apply for a job. I am losing hope. I've noticed "only succesful candidates will be contacted" or words to that effect on quite a lot of things recently. Apparently being an inconsiderate c**t is quite alright, as long as you warn people in advance. And aye, keep the chin up and all that. It's a c**t of a process but its a numbers game and something will come up eventually. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweaty Morph Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 The phrase is actually "on it like a car bonnet". You may also use "on it like a Shakespeare sonnet". You'll sound like a p***k for using either really but you may use them. "On it til I vomit" is a favourite of one of my work colleagues. A 28 year old man. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 The girl from the office at work. She always comes into the canteen at lunchtime to make her and the bosses' coffee, which is fair enough, but she always "sings" some crappy song when the kettle is boiling. I'm in the canteen to enjoy my peace and quiet, not to have it shattered by a warbling bint. She's lucky she's not in St Johns hospital with 3rd degree burns from a freshly boiled kettle. You're a right miserable c**t. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I was at the darts yesterday. Started at 11 a.m. with a beer on the train. Ended in a descent into near-insanity involving White Russians until the place ran out of milk, Buckie Bombs until the place ran out of energy drink, then the Buckie Bombs came with CIDER instead of energy drink. This led to falling asleep on a floor in Partick, having about five shites this morning, getting the fear big time, the shakes, paranoia and a wave of exhaustion that would make M.E. sufferers look like 100m runners. I'm now wide awake in a kind of zombie-like trance after a day of the wife ripping the piss out of me (entirely deserved) and several hallucinations about giraffes and all sorts. In fairness, I'm not sure if the giraffe one was actually a hallucination or if I was just talking to and hugging my own giraffe. Best line of the day yesterday: "Monster, I beat her at badminton so she's agreed to take it up the arse!" Indeed. Well played on hooking readers with the bold text function 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I was at the darts yesterday. Started at 11 a.m. with a beer on the train. Ended in a descent into near-insanity involving White Russians until the place ran out of milk, Buckie Bombs until the place ran out of energy drink, then the Buckie Bombs came with CIDER instead of energy drink. This led to falling asleep on a floor in Partick, having about five shites this morning, getting the fear big time, the shakes, paranoia and a wave of exhaustion that would make M.E. sufferers look like 100m runners. I'm now wide awake in a kind of zombie-like trance after a day of the wife ripping the piss out of me (entirely deserved) and several hallucinations about giraffes and all sorts. In fairness, I'm not sure if the giraffe one was actually a hallucination or if I was just talking to and hugging my own giraffe. Best line of the day yesterday: "Monster, I beat her at badminton so she's agreed to take it up the arse!" Indeed. I guess you had to be there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Harry Arter for Bournemouth/Sky Sports. The guy had a good game and scored a peach for the 2nd. However, he blatantly dived for the 2nd penalty. The interviewer at the end asks "The penalty looked soft, was there contact?". Naebrain responds: "I don't know if there was contact. But I didn't dive." Well yes, yes you fucking did! You've just admitted you felt no contact yet hit the deck. That = You're A Diving b*****d! What is even more infuriating is the fact that Sky give him the Man of the Match! Don't worry kids, diving is acceptable in this sport as long as you play well the rest of the game! Unreal. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonksy+HisChristianParade Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Harry Arter for Bournemouth/Sky Sports. The guy had a good game and scored a peach for the 2nd. However, he blatantly dived for the 2nd penalty. The interviewer at the end asks "The penalty looked soft, was there contact?". Naebrain responds: "I don't know if there was contact. But I didn't dive." Well yes, yes you fucking did! You've just admitted you felt no contact yet hit the deck. That = You're A Diving b*****d! What is even more infuriating is the fact that Sky give him the Man of the Match! Don't worry kids, diving is acceptable in this sport as long as you play well the rest of the game! Unreal. It's possible to fall over without there being contact. I haven't seen the incident in question but just because there's an admission that there may not have been contact doesn't necessarily mean that a player dived. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 It's possible to fall over without there being contact. I haven't seen the incident in question but just because there's an admission that there may not have been contact doesn't necessarily mean that a player dived. It's a terrible dive. Flicks his feet out and goes down with zero contact, really poor. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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