ffcsam Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 currently boxed in at Falkirk Council Municipal buildings. Police phoned, hope they tow the offending cars away Merry Xmas ya cuntos 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 I recently realised that one of the rooms in my house did not have an HD television. Since I do not wish to be in an inferior consumer position to a blawhard that earns £8.50 an hour so has to lie about owning a villa in Florida I decided to rectify this immediately. Therefore I took a trip this a.m. to a local Argos store. Having successfully negotiated the gaggle of awkward, spotty, grunting teen boys in the doorway, shuffling the garish plastic tips of their Brantano faux-leather shoes and sullenly smoking, shivering in their cheap Argos fleeces and looking entirely unemployable, I entered the delightfully decorated store. Queueing to pay for my chosen television with my wad of notes in one hand, my hat at a jaunty angle and my luscious lips whistling a cheery Christmas tune I was confronted by what can only be described as a walking Vacant sign in a skirt and an Argos polo shirt. She exceeded my initial expectations by being able to press two buttons in the correct order with the minimum amount of drool escaping from her Greggs sausage roll flecked lips, thereby bringing to the screen my previously reserved tv. It was at this point my sunny mood was forcibly darkened somewhat. Mandy Middle-Distance Gaze said: "Can ah take yer details?" Usually I would be only too happy to sign up to the marketing advances of such a salubrious store as Argos, but the thought of this pile of amoebic sludge with bones attempting to spell my surname before the onset of the next Ice Age led me to attempt a sidestep. "Why?" I asked, with as cheery an air as a man who is about to add to his material posessions (and therefore his soulful bliss and karmic contentment!) can possibly be expected to emanate. "It's coz if ye huvnae got a tv licence we cunny sell ye the telly." Really? REALLY? We actually live in a society where a retail business takes a check on your legality before it accepts your dosh! Of course at first I assumed Nicola Numpty had got it wrong, much like her parents lack of contraception, so I followed up with: "Erm...isn't that the Government's job? To check on my tv licence?" The seconds passed like hours as Gail the Gowk tried to formulate a response in her head as the brain cell that was busy thinking about the X-factor tried to click on a link to open a new window. Anyway, as the brain cell was clearly using an outdated AMD processor that was overheating and I was beginning to feel a rage akin to standing on an upturned plug in my socks I swiftly made an exit, booted a bollard outside, phoned a pal for a rant, then tweeted some 'advice' to Little Lord Fauntleroy of Downing Street on Twitter. What is this, 1984? Why the twatty b*****ding f**k is Argos checking our backgrounds? Very dangerous precedent indeed. By the way cuntos, I wasn't really wearing a hat. Tesco tried that with me about 5years ago. TV blew on a Sunday evening. Went to Tesco, got TV and paid at express check-out, was told I had to go to customer service and register sale as they had to pass my details on to TV Licensing. I said 'No, i have a TV license, It was none of their business and if they not happy about me walking out with the TV I had just bought they could have it back and I would have my money back'. It did the trick. And what if you were buying as apresent for someone else. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAGer Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 Several things, mostly from female colleagues: Woman beside me in work constantly bursting into one or two words of a song. Most common is that one from Fun. Sitting nice and peaceful then..."TONIIIIIGHT", then nothing. I don't know whats annoying me more, the fact that she's doing it or the fact that she's only signing one word. Women constantly going on about what their eating and how their trying to cutback etc. This same woman had 4 packets of crisps yesterday during work and a crisp roll this morning. Its not her constant eating that annoys me, its her constantly saying how hungry she is and how she's cutting back. She is now waiting until Boxing Day to cut back. I predict this will be moved to January. Then January will be depressing so she'll move it on another couple of months. I'm sure that repetitive office conversations are an annoyance to a lot of you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H_B Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 And what if you were buying as apresent for someone else. What about it? All the seller has to do is pass on your details. They can be fined if they don't. If you are then visited by a detector van saying "you bought a TV, where is your license" all you need to do is say "Have a look, it isn't here - it was a present". Or even, "I don't use it to watch TV as it's shown" it appears. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwififer Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 Monster is clearly going through the menopause and needs a cuddle. Stop being a grump and happy Hanukkah! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 Aye, but he needs a telly first... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayrgirl Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 Aye, but he needs a telly first... ....it's not for him 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 Dundonians and fifers = minks What is a mink apart from the small animal thing? I'm not sure if I have been insulted or not. When you typed mink did you mean a mank? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 What is a mink apart from the small animal thing? I'm not sure if I have been insulted or not. When you typed mink did you mean a mank? Dont worry, he didn't mean you. Or did he? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwififer Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 Seeing I was born in Dundee but raised in Fife, what does that make me? Fire away........ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 Seeing I was born in Dundee but raised in Fife, what does that make me? Fire away........ Fortunate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 People who ask questions on the quick question thread that could be answered with a five minute search on Google. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 (edited) People who ask questions on the quick question thread that could be answered with a five minute search on Google. You'll get a row for saying that. I did when I said it. You'll be told it's a forum etc etc. Edited December 6, 2012 by Sergeant Wilson 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 You'll get a row for saying that. I did when I said it. You'll be told it's a forum etc etc. A funny thing happenned on the way............................................ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 You'll get a row for saying that. I did when I said it. You'll be told it's a forum etc etc. I hope your reply was 'fuck off'. I know mine's would be. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smurph Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 Working evenings from the 19th to the 28th December. I don't necessarily like the Christmas period but it would have been nice to have been able to do something on at least one of the days. Now those ten days are complete write-offs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sloop John B Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 Exams at 9:30 on a Saturday morning. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karpaty Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 Vodafone. I think my main birthday present next month is getting rid of them. Shambles of a service. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stimpy Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 My ex wife is in a new relationship, first one for both of us since we seperated. Must say it's taking a little getting used to, just found out a couple of hours ago. It'll be all good by the morning when I've had time to digest. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexi Collector Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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