Sergeant Wilson Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 On the work thing, and I'm sure I mentioned this before, some auld c**t who had been there for 30+ years (and was a highly distinguished professional) got £90 in a whip-round last year when he retired. Shortly after that, some admin bint got £300 when she moved to another department along the fucking corridor. Two other admin bints, let's call one of them Linda with the pert tits and nice arse, and the other one Bawface, got married this month and achieved nearly a fucking grand between them. I only contributed to Linda for obvious reasons. I felt like she'd earned it. Did Linda marry Bawface? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 My mum was a District Nurse based at a busy GPs practice. When one of the nurses was leaving she started the collection, putting a £10 note in a big envelope and leaving it at reception for everyone else to add to. When she went back at the end of the day there was a grand total of £8.37 in small change. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 We all just stick a quid in each. Apart from me, cos f**k everyone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 We had a guy whose wife died a few weeks before Christmas leaving him with 3 kids. He's in his mid 30s and didn't have family around. Anyway, they had a whip round to get his kids stuff for Christmas and one of the admin staff (nice legs, no tits) said she wasn't going to donate anything because they would be getting her inheritance. I think the oldest kid was about 8. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alert Mongoose Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 For the unjustified I've pretty much perfected the magic coin trick giving the envelope a subtle shake while hovering your hand over the top. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 We had a guy whose wife died a few weeks before Christmas leaving him with 3 kids. He's in his mid 30s and didn't have family around. Anyway, they had a whip round to get his kids stuff for Christmas and one of the admin staff (nice legs, no tits) said she wasn't going to donate anything because they would be getting her inheritance. I think the oldest kid was about 8. Wow now there is someone in dire need of a kick in the chuff. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 We had a guy whose wife died a few weeks before Christmas leaving him with 3 kids. He's in his mid 30s and didn't have family around. Anyway, they had a whip round to get his kids stuff for Christmas and one of the admin staff (nice legs, no tits) said she wasn't going to donate anything because they would be getting her inheritance. I think the oldest kid was about 8. She sounds like the sort of person I hope dies in front of her kids and husband on Christmas day. Fucking cow. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I was attacked by a seagull whilst I was walking from my motor to my work this morning. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I was attacked by a seagull whilst I was walking from my motor to my work this morning. There are seagulls up here that are honestly the size of eagles. They should be fucking exterminated. What do they actually contribute? Fucking pests. Shit feart of them too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AberdeenBud Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I was attacked by a seagull whilst I was walking from my motor to my work this morning. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Do you live in Kirkcaldy? http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/fife/blind-woman-feels-defenceless-against-kirkcaldy-s-angry-seagulls-1.887462 Good God, no. I'd be fucked off too if I were a seagull that lived there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I just thought that with you supporting Rangers, you must be blind. And with you acting like a lassie a lot of the time and whatnot. I honestly have no comeback that would do this justice. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Schoolkids dancing on the road and running in front of cars. Every lunchtime I need to go home I encounter this driving by the schools, how much trouble will I get in for running one over? Ugh I hate this. Wee p***ks thinking they're hard. I'd absolutely love to see them get run over. They wouldn't be acting so hard then. When I walk home I often see two schoolkids (high school, must be at least 5th year I think) throwing and kicking a ball over traffic, getting as close to cars without actually hitting them. Such solid and mental behaviour. They must be extremely hard and cool. Yesterday the ball hit a car and the guy in the car slowed down and looked back, and for a second I hoped he was getting out to kick f**k out of the wee scumbags, but sadly he drove on. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 In a previous job we too had the endless parade of envelopes/cards asking for money. The vast majority of the time I simply just refused it (I only put a quid in if it was a friend). Never pretended to put something in, never made an excuse. I didn't ever feel bad about it either. When I left I got £30 from such an envelope. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Anyway, I came on to post my own PTTGOYN. Folk who are given painkillers or other medication and are told they shouldn’t drink alcohol whilst taking the tablets, only to then not only do so, but also boast about it, as if it’s something tough and rebellious to do, and not in fact exceptionally stupid. I hope that someone gets seriously ill from doing so, moments after boasting about it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Anyway, I came on to post my own PTTGOYN. Folk who are given painkillers or other medication and are told they shouldn’t drink alcohol whilst taking the tablets, only to then not only do so, but also boast about it, as if it’s something tough and rebellious to do, and not in fact exceptionally stupid. I hope that someone gets seriously ill from doing so, moments after boasting about it. Some medication does say DO NOT TAKE ALCOHOL, and fair enough I wouldn't drink. The majority just say 'TRY AND AVOID ALCOHOL', I often try, I often fail and despite the way some folk go on it makes bugger all difference to the effects of the medication or the alcohol for me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 (edited) I'd been in my current job when my wife had a baby. I received nothing. I really wasn't bothered but what irked me was that at the same time I was expected to contribute to every collection going. On a work theme we regularly receive emails from other teams notifying us about staff movements, leavers, newbies, etc. Yesterday we get an email telling us that a woman who'd only been with the company for a couple of weeks ago was leaving. She received the type of eulogy you'd expect from someone who'd completed 25 years long service. This is the same for my workplace, yesterday an email went out about a guy leaving after 3 years with the company who I had never heard of and there was a giant card and whipround for him. f**k right aff, he's no doubt getting more money in his other job or else why would he leave? Plus I didnt have a clue who he was so he wasnt getting a fiver affy me. Just put up a secondary fence out my back garden for a bit more privacy (finally can get a hot tub and get swinging) but the wee gaps next to the post need cut to size etc and there's still folk peeking in through the wee gaps! Bolt ya shower of nosey rides. Edited July 1, 2015 by 11thHour 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 All of mine seem to be gripes about my workplace and I do apologise for that but its just that this place is filled with utter scum. Someone brought cakes in cause it was their birthday and someone ate all but one bite of a yum yum and then put it back in the tray... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Some medication does say DO NOT TAKE ALCOHOL, and fair enough I wouldn't drink. The majority just say 'TRY AND AVOID ALCOHOL', I often try, I often fail and despite the way some folk go on it makes bugger all difference to the effects of the medication or the alcohol for me. You clearly don't try at all, because if you tried, it's exceptionally easy to not drink alcohol. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Being sober on a night out is a horrendous experience in the majority of cases. If there is a night out planned then staying sober is not 'exceptionally easy.' It really is, unless you have a problem (is that what you're implying? That you're a 'mad' alkie lol!!!!!!!!) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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