Stellaboz Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 I would have came to that conclusion after he said he fantasises about shagging a bird in a pram, not that he didn't enjoy a cold Tennetts on a warm Summers evening. He also poops behind billboards. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Lets not forget the plastic vagina. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Lets not forget the plastic vagina. What you'd give for a plastic vagina rather than a Matalan sports sock. I like his disdain for all things throbber, it's relatable. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 1 minute ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: What you'd give for a plastic vagina rather than a Matalan sports sock. I like his disdain for all things throbber, it's relatable. This is largely inaccurate, he had a go at my drinking over the festive period but apart from that we have a strong rapport. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 1 hour ago, throbber said: He doesn't like coffee does he? It was one of my 17 for 17 to drink less of it but i love it, can't function in the morning without one and if I'm home alone i will have a good 6 or 7 cups a day. If i worked in the office environment i would probably plan my day around my coffee breaks. I do indeed strongly dislike coffee. In fact... 1 hour ago, Honest_Man#1 said: He's posted about it quite a lot. He despises all hot drinks I think. ...I do indeed despise all hot drinks. All drinks should be cold. Tea and coffee are shit. The last time I had one of either was in 1997, and it was only because I was staying at a mate's house and his maw made us tea and toast for breakfast. Being the polite fellow I am, I struggled down a quarter of the sickening brew. 1 hour ago, throbber said: And beer and wine IIRC. A strange individual. Hold up; I like beer. I had some last week. In fact I had quite a bit of beer over the festive period. I'm a big fan. Wine is shit though. 1 hour ago, Stellaboz said: He also poops behind billboards. That was one time, and it was a medical emergency. Anyway, you once had to shite in a club and, upon seeing there was no toilet roll, wiped your arse with your socks, which you then put in the cistern. You animal. 1 hour ago, throbber said: Lets not forget the plastic vagina. It wasn't plastic. It was silicon. And it was last seen on top of a builder's van after I threw it out the window at a friend (he placed it atop the van, which in the morning had left, presumably with the artificial flange on top). 1 hour ago, throbber said: This is largely inaccurate, he had a go at my drinking over the festive period but apart from that we have a strong rapport. I get concerned sometimes for you Throbber, as at times you seem like a hideous jakey alchy hoor, given your stories of boozing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 7 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: I do indeed strongly dislike coffee. In fact... ...I do indeed despise all hot drinks. All drinks should be cold. Tea and coffee are shit. The last time I had one of either was in 1997, and it was only because I was staying at a mate's house and his maw made us tea and toast for breakfast. Being the polite fellow I am, I struggled down a quarter of the sickening brew. Hold up; I like beer. I had some last week. In fact I had quite a bit of beer over the festive period. I'm a big fan. Wine is shit though. That was one time, and it was a medical emergency. Anyway, you once had to shite in a club and, upon seeing there was no toilet roll, wiped your arse with your socks, which you then put in the cistern. You animal. It wasn't plastic. It was silicon. And it was last seen on top of a builder's van after I threw it out the window at a friend (he placed it atop the van, which in the morning had left, presumably with the artificial flange on top). I get concerned sometimes for you Throbber, as at times you seem like a hideous jakey alchy hoor, given your stories of boozing. Even hot Ribena? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Even hot Ribena? Squash? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DI Bruce Robertson Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Even hot Ribena? He prefers funky cold ribena. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Can you take soup? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 1 minute ago, Shandon Par said: Even hot Ribena? Yes. That sounds horrific. Incidentally I have just realised I told a lie. The last time I had tea was in 2013 when we played Partick Thistle at Firhill. It was the game that ended 3-3 and saw the Thistle fans invade the pitch (cos they'd just won the league the week before), including a man holding a baby who was offering out the entire Pars support for a fight. I only got the tea because we were in the shitey old Main Stand, which I'm sure had been condemned but had recently re-opened. They had laughable facilities and thus no drinks other than tea from an urn. I took one sip and placed it on the floor, never to be touched again. I managed to spill over a scarf, staining the white part. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Just now, Bobby Skidmarks said: Can you take soup? I do eat soup. I make a tremendous lentil and vegetable, and Heinz Tomato is always a treat. Note however that I said eat, and not drink. Because you eat soup; you don't drink it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 I do eat soup. I make a tremendous lentil and vegetable, and Heinz Tomato is always a treat. Note however that I said eat, and not drink. Because you eat soup; you don't drink it. What about cupasoups? Do you eat them? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Just now, Bobby Skidmarks said: What about cupasoups? Do you eat them? I personally don't. Because they're dreadful. Never touch them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 15 minutes ago, smpar said: Squash? Yes, the diluting stuff, heated up. I really like it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 31 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: I get concerned sometimes for you Throbber, as at times you seem like a hideous jakey alchy hoor, given your stories of boozing. The posts over Christmas were as if you thought i was lying about my stories of boozing which isn't true at all although i do share too much sometime. I get concerned that you one minute come across as whacky as f**k with a vivid wild imagination that would find silly stuff funny but you are the first person to pull posters up for being a Walter Mitty, a recent example being in the cycling survey thread. Judging from your posting history that is the sort of thing i would imagine you to find funny but you were right in there calling him out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernJambo Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 I do eat soup. I make a tremendous lentil and vegetable, and Heinz Tomato is always a treat. Note however that I said eat, and not drink. Because you eat soup; you don't drink it. What about when there's only a wee bit left and easier just to drink it out the bowl? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 2 hours ago, DA Baracus said: I do eat soup. I make a tremendous lentil and vegetable, and Heinz Tomato is always a treat. Note however that I said eat, and not drink. Because you eat soup; you don't drink it. What about if the soup is in a Thermos™? Do you carry a spoon with you when you're hillwalking, for example? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 12 hours ago, SlipperyP said: To Bert. I'm pished and the keys keep on moving. I deleted your nonce comment. don't how but did!!! Chocolate Orange is like standing in dog shite, your brain goes ehh, and rapidly refuse. Same ans standing on dog shite, you know you did and.... Of course. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Bovril? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Folk that describe a pub as serving a good pint. Normally referring to Tennents lager. It's the same extra cold fizzy stuff as served up in 90 percent of boozers throughout Scotland, providing the bar staff remember to clean the pipes every couple of months ferfuxache! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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