Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 Mrs Mullarkey this morning "right im going to do some of christmas food shopping this morning" "have you written a list of what we need?" "No its fine" "well dont bother me as Im busy" 1 hour later, 5 whatsapps "do we need goose fat, have we got tins of prunes, did you get butter the other day" Phone off. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 The quine reading the BBC news just pronounced "negotiations" as "neh-go-ssiations". No need for that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 "is 36 cocktail sausages enough" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 14 minutes ago, velo army said: The quine reading the BBC news just pronounced "negotiations" as "neh-go-ssiations". No need for that. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 38 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: "is 36 cocktail sausages enough" Going in or coming out? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 49 minutes ago, velo army said: The quine reading the BBC news just pronounced "negotiations" as "neh-go-ssiations". No need for that. Quine? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 47 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: "is 36 cocktail sausages enough" I thought you'd switched your phone off? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 13 minutes ago, jimbaxters said: Quine? Fiona Stalker obviously 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 43 minutes ago, jimbaxters said: Quine? Wifie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 47 minutes ago, jimbaxters said: Quine? 46 minutes ago, Rugster said: I thought you'd switched your phone off? "oh the bags are too heavy, can you come and pick me up" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zetterlund Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: "oh the bags are too heavy, can you come and pick me up" My Mrs calls me for a lift home from work most Saturdays because "I have stuff to carry" which is usually a carrier bag from the Co-op. Her work is 400 yards from the house. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxRover Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 8 minutes ago, Zetterlund said: My Mrs calls me for a lift home from work most Saturdays because "I have stuff to carry" which is usually a carrier bag from the Co-op. Her work is 400 yards from the house. Opportunity, laddie…send the following at 3 minute intervals… “Right, I’ll get changed and be right down” ”Sorry, decided I didn’t like that top with those trousers and had to change” ”The top didn’t match my complexion, I had to find another” ”I got to the car and then realized I’d forgotten my wallet” ”I was backing out and saw the neighbour wearing the same outfit as me, so I had to go back and change again” See how long before she walks home….you'll be in deep s**t, but you won’t have moved from the seat. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 “Does the bairn like Appletise?” ”are blackcurrants the same as brambles” ”should I get you Christmas jammies” “There’s no croissants, what should I do” 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 10 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: ”should I get you Christmas jammies” The answer is, of course, yes. Assuming you're either a woman or under the age of 13. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 1 hour ago, scottsdad said: Assuming you're either a woman or under the age of 13. Mods please. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 Jesus, the soon-to-be-divorced men's thread for all this please! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 Meanwhile, a real problem: I just got my Christmas present early; a portable wafer-thin flatscreen monitor, so I can pimp about with it and my laptop and set up a dual-screen environment for work* wherever I go. I get it unpacked and ready to use, and my fucking laptop commits seppuku before I get to plug the new screen in. Just sitting on the desk doing nothing** only to crash hard and refuse to boot. So now I've got a lovely new screen and f**k all to plug into it. Merry fucking Christmas. * fine, watching two jazz videos at the same time. ** fine, playing two jazz videos at the same time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FK1Bairn Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 Our street's cardboard/paper recycling bins get emptied on Friday. The protocol is to put them out before 6am on the day of collection but most people put them out late the night before. Stupid neighbours have put their bin out 24 hours before it needs to be. In strong winds. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted December 21, 2023 Share Posted December 21, 2023 16 hours ago, Zetterlund said: My Mrs calls me for a lift home from work most Saturdays because "I have stuff to carry" which is usually a carrier bag from the Co-op. Her work is 400 yards from the house. Didn't she take the hint after you told her to f**k off the 1st time? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted December 21, 2023 Share Posted December 21, 2023 19 hours ago, Zetterlund said: My Mrs calls me for a lift home from work most Saturdays because "I have stuff to carry" which is usually a carrier bag from the Co-op. Her work is 400 yards from the house. Say OK, wander up, take the bag and say lets walk, I couldn't find the car keys. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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