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Ask Auntie Phil


Philomena McCann

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I have a question. Do you have the number for a good childminder? Me and the missus are going out for a rather lary posh do, you know, Hugh and Jemima, Rupert, the Collington-Smithes at the Ivy, and we don't want the children up to their usual tricks. Thanks for the help.

Childminders are for posh middle-class basturts. Yer bairns'll be awright if you check oan them every couple of hoors.

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If you kid had a genetic disease, would it be OK to go through IVF to have twins, and increase the chance of one of the twins having a gene that could cure your kid ?

And if this didn't work would it be OK morally to kill the kid with the genetic problem ?

Ah dinne ken how twins would help oot if ye hud a genital disease. Better sendin' the dirty wee shite tae the clap clinic. Kids these days, it's an effing disgrace. If any ae mah weans had that, too bloody right ah'd kill them.

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Guest Cowden_1_Raith_0
Chips. Loads ae lovely chips. I love chips ah do.

As for the cookin....{EDIT: ma lawyers told me to snip this bit oot}... but mind an remove the lemon from their arsehole afore servin.

Thanks Auntie Phil B)

:lol::lol::lol:

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Philomena, why do you constantly stick up for your child killing relatives?

Listen you. Oor Gerry widnae hurt a fly. Ahn am pretty certain he widnae hurt a wean either.

An as fur that Kate, she might be a snooty English bitch (are Auntie Phil's cheese piece suppers no guid enough for her weans?) but she's no a killer.

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I have a shirt in the house that smells vaguely of death.

Is there anything I can do, or should I burn it?

Nip doon tae Pets At Home. Buy some pedigree chum and rub it aw o'er yer shirt. That way when they basturtin sniffer dugs start goin' mental, ye can just says it's the dug food.

Auntie Phil 1 - 0 Basturtin Sniffer Dugs.

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