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Sinking a few no doubt. Or they might push the boat out and try something different rather than getting wrecked.

With a glass of the finest port? P&B obviously harbours some really callous scumbags.

Dont mind her kilt, I suspect news of the tragedy just hasnt sunk in yet. Anyway, my nag...my exhaust repair of Monday lasted 6 miles...it fell off on the way to uni this morning. Luckily, I heard the clunks of it dragging, and saw it on the road behind be, so I was able to pull over, run back to the roundabout and retrieve it. I think I know what went wrong, Ill have another go at fixing it later on.

No drinking for me, just a wee meal and a coffee (well, cup of tea). Was it a heavy all dayer, or one of those well spaced ones that doesnt get you wasted? You must be in a good mood right enough, the number of sin binnings and bannings appears to have gone right down tonight.

Ive come in from an evening in Glasgow (I always feel like such a teuchter whenever I go to Glasgow or Edinburgh, the big cities intimidate me), and although Im getting up before 8 tomorrow, Im feeling wide awake.

....55 mins pass.... What the hell were you smoking? A 50 pack?

You've never heard of safety corks? Health and Safety requires you to have a stock of safety corks (just like regular corks, but three times the price) handy at all times for emergencies.

Thats a corker of a picture there! Ill get me coat.

Are you kidding? That buffoon (sorry Kilt) would probably put his hand through the glass. Perhaps a picture of a cork?

And so the fundamental moral of the story, make sure you have safety corks on your exposed picture hooks!

I dont like the way this conversation is going...

Because I chained the back of the exhaust on last year I wasnt able to take it off this morning when I drove in, however, it scraped along the ground quite a bit. Ill sort it out before I drive home, Im resourceful... I dont think Santa wears tight fetish pvc, so that rules that plan out.

Really appreciate the offer, but unfortunately I dont even have a budget of next to nothing...a coke can is about the limit of my budget. Plus Im not able to get to Dunblane at the mo! Like I said though, really appreciate the offer anyway!

No, its my exhaust. Its now in 2 pieces, torn off just behind the converter. Whats the legal status on exhausts? And as a follow up question, anyone know any cheap and temporary fixes? Im scrapping it just after christmas, so I dont want to spend money on it! Im thinking I might try punching holes in the ends of an irn bru can and sliding the exhaust into it.

I drove back here from Arbroath. My car has become every womans dream car. Every time I touch the throttle it makes a loud tortured noise, and the entire car vibrates like crazy.

I was close!

And here we see good use of spoiler tags!

They really aren't though! Plus he makes me laugh.

For the first time in quite a while now, I have too many thoughts going through my mind to sleep. Bugger!

Im above that sort of stuff! My good nature prevents me from actually being anything other than polite and mild mannered.

Well done! There may yet be hope for you.

You forgot to add your usual insults. Must try harder.

Why the indignation? Nobody cares for your opinion, and all the vitriol in the world won't make you anything special. Just chill, and maybe one day (before the inevitable heart attack), you will realise that there is more to life.

A couple things...my flatmate is moving out because he has got a job over in NI, meaning that we have to find new flatmates, or I have to move out. Secondly, Im struggling for flatmates as most of the people I know are now happily settled or moved away. Thirdly, why the hell didnt I shag that girl last night? Fourthly, who the hell was she? Fifthly, my hangover is a killer and my mother is coming down to visit me in about half an hour.