Sweet Pete

I like the Smiddy. That stretch of Dumbarton Road has some good pubs on it.

So, basically, nobody agrees on anything.

No. Now get your nose out of my bidness, M2.

If you would permit me to quote Bidness Insider: "It is a common misconception that National Lottery winners are given more money if they decide to go public. Camelot confirmed that this has never been a policy, though the question is often asked." http://uk.businessinsider.com/what-lotto-winners-go-public-2016-1

#KeeperDebate

It was in that same Bidness Insider article I mentioned earlier.

Anything over £500k Camelot offer automatic legal, financial, media and planning help.

Purely personal, but I just feel it's a really predictable thing to say when the press hold a mic up to you and ask how you'll spend your winnings. No-one ever says "Well I'll tell my boss to f**k off, burn my ugly house to the ground, buy all the houses in my street and turf the residents out as I hate my neighbours and do all the coke that Colombia can produce. Cheers!".

Aye that's a point. Imagine how shite it would be having total strangers from around the country sending you begging letters describing how little Courtney needs a new face and your generosity could change her life and shite like that. I'd have a great time replying to them all with a gift voucher for £1 that's redeemable at WHSmith.

An article on Business Insider citing quotes from previous winners who went public says they did it as they felt it would have been impossible to remain anonymous as people would start asking questions of your sudden wealth, meaning you'd either need to lie or start telling folk and from there it would spread anyway. I wouldn't lie to my family, friends or work, I'd tell them the truth, but I'd still avoid a public press conference in the national news. My bidness is my bidness after all.

You are, coincidentally enough, one of the biggest idiots on this site, so I guess it's appropriate that you tried to have a dig at me by neglecting to quote the part of my post where I said "cash it in and work out the details while you wait for it to clear", not simply "don't bother to strategise!". Fanny.

Bollocks to waiting around and strategising. It'll take a few days or so presumably for them to arrange the funds to clear to you anyway, so you can worry about jotting down the particulars on a notepad while it clears. Get the fucking thing banked. People who say they'll still go to work after winning a big sum disgust me. Or the first thing they'll do is go on a cruise. People are idiots.

Mind the **** tried to sign him and he led them on saying he'd join them as a stepping stone to England then joined West Ham at the last second? Good times. Wonder if he's any good since having so many injuries. Can't hurt to take a look at him.

They're minging

One of the few days a year when that strecth of the river isn't flooding up to car park level and stinking of sewage as flocks of mongrel gulls screech overhead. Christ I'm glad I don't live there anymore.

The simpler a stag plan the better I reckon. And you need the dominant personalities to hand out the telt to any dissenters from the plan. For example, it shouldn't be open to a vote which pubs are on the itinerary, it should simply be decided be the cool kids and the jobbers just need to go where they're told and be ignored if they whinge or gripe.

That sounds quite similar to my brother-in-law's stag do, both of my brother-in-law's. The first we all met in a pub in the west end and he decided he wasn't up for it, so despite all his friends and family being there he pretended to have a sore leg after about 3 pints and got a taxi home. I was there with my mate and the stag was the only person there we knew, so we too fucked off home. The second we went to the dog track and it was braw, hard to get near the bar for a drink, but otherwise a good laugh. From there we went to Maggie Mays, which is a pub I enjoy, but the stag and best man insisted we go to the club part downstairs, which it being early we were the only people in and they resisted all attempts to go elsewhere or in any way liven up the proceedings (shots, drinking games, actually speaking to each other) so the second half of the night was a complete washout. Stag do's in general tend to be shite in my experience. Except for mine. Big shout to Smurph who along with myself was the only person to last the distance and drink til 6am.

I'd be like an ouroboros. I'd just need an I.V line for fluids to keep my going.

If only I could, Rab. Life would be so much simpler.

No whooshing. Marie Osmond is indeed a Blues fan. Our club anthem is her song "paper roses" and she's visited the ground, performed at it and been photographed in a club scarf.

It's really more of a joke. Ure wrote Sons' club anthem "the Sons we're the ones" in the 70s.

I'll express myself however I like. So suck my cock.

Dumbarton have Midge Ure. Killie have Marie Osmond.

I tried sex once in borstal. It wasn't for me.

You'll be next in the sack full of bricks