bullywee

Quite simply, the less teuchs the better.

A team should move to EK.

Quite possibly the greatest artist of all time.

I'm not sure I've ever laughed as hard as when they played Bogies and that game where they stuck ever-growing pictures of themselves on to unsuspecting members of the public. I'm not ashamed to admit that it would almost definitely still have the same effect on me now.

Brought a tear to my POLICE aviators.

My shit goes soft and green when I tell a lie.

Almost certainly Mr. X. Truly the antithesis of dece.

By far the best one yet. Literally every aspect of that photo is tragic beyond comprehension. Judging by the Dundee and St. Mitten graffiti on Kirky's ladtastic t-shirt there must be some people on here who know him. Hopefully there are photos of Kirky crunking and grinding with the Wilma Dickfit.

If that's a full sized tomato being used for scale then I think they may have actually just wrapped up a bear foetus.

The Aussies probably love Eurovision more than anyone else. Madder than cut snakes so they are.

There's no finer 'I told you so' moment than when someone gets ill again after stopping their course of antibiotics because they feel better despite the consequences of doing this being explained to them. It's even better when there's no NHS for them to abuse so they're spunking their own money on it. Absolute morons.

Rangers redundancy bingo.

Elephants would boost tourism.

Well and truly rattled.

If I had twitter then I'd definitely follow you. sam @safc123bino · 9 Feb 2013 i hope muhammed ali beats parkison diease even though it's unlikely sam @safc123bino · Jan 11 My legs are killing me right now 0 replies .0 retweets1 favourite Reply Retweet Favourite1 More

I used to work with a girl called Sky. She was the domestic on the boat we lived/ worked on and was pretty hot, in all honesty, but mental at the same time. After work we were allowed to have a maximum of four mid-strength beers each from the communal beer fridge because 1) we were on a fairly small boat in the Indian Ocean that was constantly circled by Tiger Sharks and 2) we started work at 6 every morning. Anyway, we were moored off the coast of the middle of no-where in Australia and all went to bed at 8 or something but this girl stayed up herself and scooped the life out of every beer in the fridge. She then went on a rampage round the boat before being restrained by the captain and the engineer. A speedboat had to come and get her the next morning. No-one ever saw Sky again.

In that charity advert where the kids try and pronounce their terrible heart conditions it looks and sounds as though they're all trying to fart out a particularly large shite.

Over the hill.

Darts is for sharts.

Darcy was the best one. That poor kid is going to get relentlessly bullied.

That's a great article: Spiritually I still have contact with Van Gaal. I think about him and I think he also thinks about me.

That is v.v.v. dece. I was actually in #perthshire on Sunday. So, so peng.

There's a bit in an episode of QI that talks about the ejaculations of the Sherlock Holmes stories. There are 23 of them and I was systematically ticking them off as I worked my way through the complete collection last year. The best one is definitely when one of the characters 'ejaculates from a second floor window' in 'The Man with the Twisted Lip' which is well worth a read even before you take into account this Alan Lithgow-esque behaviour.

A guy in my year at high-school was renowned for having the mannerisms of an old man. Apparently he was a perfectly normal child in primary school until Still Game began and then he started talking like an old person and he's still keeping it up at least 10 years on. It's probably no coincidence that he writes articles for The Sun from time to time.

I honestly think people finance these things for a laugh. The Michael Owen helicopter tour of Dubai is sensational.