bullywee

This happened to me as well.

I've just opened a new chain of upmarket fashion boutiques called 'Dece, Dench & Peng' in London, Paris, Milan, Shanghai, NYC and Perthshire so you guys can pop in for the champagne reception whenever you're in the vicinity. I would offer discounts to Club DECE members but I don't have to; you can afford it.

It's going to be absolutely glorious when we beat Ireland at the Knew Camp.

I'm going to see midget fighting tonight. Cannot fucking wait.

Must be an old person thing. I'm sure I remember there being a segment on some show years ago urging parents-to-be to start calling kids Barry again. They even went so far as to find a couple who had called their new born Barry and got the three of them to appear in it one week.

I don't think I've laughed so hard and for so long as the time one of my pals told me he had a uni lecturer called Wenky Pan. The further detail that he had a bucket for grogging in beside his lectern did not help matters. I've found that the green side of Belfast is good for names. I had never met a real, live Barry until a few months ago; then another one moved into the same hostel a wee while later. Incredible scenes. Aohdon, Aoife, Eamonn, Nuala and Aine are also some good/ perplexing ones.

These kind of threads are so fucking stupid. If it really matters to you that much then why not just buy football manager and compare the stats?

Decided to start working at sea whilst out here in Australia in order to add yet another string to my already well-strung bow of interest and intrigue and believe me; bitchez love men of the sea. Especially the semen of seamen. My doctor has advised me that if I continue to get my dick wet in such an unrelenting fashion that I could be in danger of developing some sort of trench-foot like condition. #deceproblemz People have also taken to calling me 'Money' because I'm so salaried and my well-oiled guns now make more than a passing resemblance to stern bows of English oak. I believe it was Voltaire who penned the eloquent yet essential missive 'f**k bitches get money'. And those, gents, are not only the words that inspired me to get Dench, but are the words that continue to inspire me to Stay Dench. #Intelligent #WellRead #WalkingAlongTheBeachesReadingQuotesOfNietzches

#perthshire

Jamesy boy used to drive tanks and lives in Ibiza. The tunes might not be up to scratch but he porks loads of vag. It may be hidden under his public image, but secretly he's a bit of a lad.

Without a word of a lie; I roadied for James Blunt today/ tonight. #i'mbeautiful #it'strue

One is born a member.

#YOLO

I'm tearing it up in Darwin atm as well. #darwinning #dece

A great day for football.

Some hostels even say that they won't let anyone who doesn't have a full-sized backpack into their dorms. No idea if they'd actually enforce something like that though. Anyway, backpacks are the way to go; no chance would I risk my backpacker street cred by conversing with a group of briefcase wankers.

Just stuck on Anal Barrage 4 at 60% volume and got down to business in the end.

There's a guy watching anime porn in the bed across from me in my hostel dorm. It's just after half 3 in the afternoon here and the volume must be pushing an emphatic 60%. The only conclusion I can draw is that this guy thinks his earphones are plugged into his laptop. They aren't though. God knows they aren't. Really unsure as to how I should approach the situation tbh.

I spent a few days there and it was a bit shit.

I'd have a perma-crisis if I lived In Mackay.

Caxton fx Global Currency card. It's quick and easy to load, you can purchase an extra card for £5 just in case you lose the first one, it works in any machine that accepts visa and generally the rates are pretty good. I've used mine for travelling round Europe, Asia and Australia and have few complaints.

Well fucking tell us then. Firstly, how did the stupid c**t lose a finger?

I'll be pounding the streets (and vag) of Brisbane this weekend. #niggazinbris

Not the only glaring inconsistencies, tbh.

#herewe