Dee Man

You've done your weekly shop at Asda. You've returned to your Nissan Qashqai with your £186 worth of shopping and you've fired it into your ample boot space. You've pressed the remote automatic boot close on your key fob and stood in awe yet again at how far technology has come. You've pushed your trolley into the empty parking spot beside you, jumped into your car and driven home to empty your groceries into the pantry/fridge/freezer or wherever they belong. Or have you...

You have just given me a fantastic idea for a Facebook page. You dicks better follow me.

I missed that result Ross, how did it go? Presumably Aberdeen took the pish against lower league opposition, aye?

8-3 Dundee?

Shitebag.

Unfortunately I shan't be responding to this or any of your future posts until you address the important issue of your "easy to predict" result in the Dundee v Hibs result in the match thread.

United fans to invade the pitch and do a lap of honour after the first corner.

I wonder if the amount of pitch invading and violence at games is a result of pent-up, post-lockdown angst. Obviously it's always gone on but there's definitely a disproportionate amount of it going on compared to 'normal' seasons. The season's only started and already there's been pitch invasions at Ayr v DABS, Livingston v Aberdeen and a couple of other games that I can't remember. Pitch invasions usually occur when emotions are running high so obviously the excitement of being back at an away game for the first time in almost 18 months or whatever has been too much to handle for the VLs amongst the DABS and Dons fans. Fortunately I support a team with classy fans who know how to conduct themselves in a civilised manner. Thank you.

Imagine taking acid and watching a Limmy video? Or indeed not being Scottish and watching a Limmy video. Some boy.

Every single self-promotional selfie video on social media beginning with the words, "Hey guys". Does my tits in. I don't think I've seen any videos with any other form of introduction since I first noticed it.

Are you new around here?

We don't want to be doing that; there was a bunch of red, angry face emojis on Facebook when STV reported I think three (?) families of Afghan refugees were being re-homed in Ayrshire a few weeks back and I saw another load today after Sturgeon announced that more Afghan refugees would be welcomed. Wee need too put oor peepil furst ffs!!!

Let's be hearing it then...

It would've been a nice fairytale story for the tractor shaggers to win the League Cup in consecutive years but it's not to be. Oh well, nevermind.

Definitely not the best marking. Dunno how your boy in front of Ashcroft managed to jump lower than his height.

I said on my Dees group chat to my mates yesterday that Legzdins seems to be the first proper keeper we've had in a while. I'm so used to being let down by our goalies that I'm just waiting on him making a monumental balls up in each game. Even last week against Celtic he was probably our best player! No-one I've asked seems to know but the smart money would be on after the Celtic v Hearts game today.

Kerr in place of Elliott and I'd agree.

I can see their keeper being caught in a David Marshall situation or something similar this season.

Dundee Utd fans invading the pitch after scraping through in the cup against lower league opposition. Again.

Apparently there was a guy on crutches doing a pitch invasion at Livingston today

I just felt the alliteration works better with beamer. I'll revert back to minter after your next pitch invasion.

I'm actually taking a full body beamer for them.

Guess who's back...