chomp my root

OK, OK, if you've been seen drinking Carling before then she might get the wrong end of the stick and jump to the wrong conclusions. I'm trying to meet you half way here, would a headlock be more acceptable than the hairy side of the hand ?

There are caveats to that, if she comes at you with a bread knife, you walk in on her and your mate going at it or trying to make you drink Carling, the French would call it a 'crime of passion'.

Grounds for divorce, trying to make you drink Carling, I assume she got the hairy side of the hand when you got home.

The worst was Belhaven lager. Even as a devote lager drinker I struggled with that.

A bit of a sweeping statement there, they may just like different lager to you. I'm a Tennents kind of a chap myself but have quite enjoyed Moretti/Becks etc in the past, Moretti is probably my fave tbh but I'm not paying stupid money to find my happy place when I don't need to. Tennents is my 'go to' for the cooking lager end of the market which is pretty much where I exclusively drink now. Less than 4% for me, no 'happy place' and pissing like a race horse.

You've allowed yourself to get roped into their fecked up world mate, at least it will end soon. Learn a lesson and don't pander to phuqwits, getting on with your neighbours is great but not at any cost. Good luck with it and I'd be putting up bunting and having a garden party if and when they move out, from what you've said the neighbours would be up for it too.

I bet you don't, not having a go but what will you achieve, it sounds like they don't have a pot to piss in and you'll have to go through the whole process of proving what you (and I'm guessing everyone else) know and that's they're a pair of basket cases. I've known a couple of guys who were accused of rape (wrongly but it didn't stop the piss taking) who were adamant that they would be pursuing things through the Civil courts but ended up not doing it. No point going over things again for no real benefit, even if you were awarded a financial benefit it would be at £1.45 a week or whatever could be spared, best option is either you or them moving on. At least its come to a head and it will all come out in the wash, it must be a massive relief for you.

You might not get a choice, I'd start building that bunker now mate, just in case.

While the 'great Satan' of America might seem to be NK's enemy, China are NK's biggest threat, if they wanted to be. China can shut the place down without firing a shot, they also have a larger nuclear arsenal. If the fat kid stopped trying to get so much attention the bigger kids would leave him to bully the North Koreans (for the greater good of course). Seeing as he has complete control of internal media I can only assume he's upset by the external stuff. Fat and huffy kid it seems.

Just when you thought Kim couldn't get any lower, he starts a Dalek factory. The fiend.

Aye, that's me telt.

Definitely the vibe I'm getting.

The problem is that we're not dealing with certainties, I broadly agree with your points but the fat kid seems keen to show that he'll do what he wants, his predecessors played the game well of being a 'mad baddy'. The uncertainty caused by his lack of sticking to stereotype is the spanner in the works. We're dealing with perceptions and he's perceived as 'worse' than his predecessors. Un played a blinder when Bush tacked NK onto his 'axis of evil' by telling the US he'd have a dirty bomb in a US city, NK was scratched off the shitlist. This Kim is a bit more aggressive and seems to lack the patience, King Donald won't be there forever.

I understand how it works, I've been involved in our own 'chain' in a few positions, it would be easy to take from that 'report' that if Trump throws a wobbler or falls over deid or whatever it would grind to a halt or we'd be up to our spuds in nukes. While I wasn't high enough up the chain to say for sure, this process has been around since the 50's and its not a fly by night thing.and there are checks built in. I've spoke to people further up the chain and while it was all very vague it was reassuring. Saying that, they weren't near the top either. I think it boils down to how much trust you have as an individual in the whole nuke weapons thing, I don't think anyone thinks they're a good idea but its where we're at so it has to be managed. While I ain't exactly King Donald's biggest fan I can't see him going nuclear for shits and giggles either, although as you say, what's the point in having the shiny shiny if you can't play with it.......

Would you trust them to get rid of the nukes if you were South Korean ? I can only think of South Africa that had a nuclear weapon programme and gave them up but they're a regional superpower anyway so maybe part of their 'rehabilitation' and easy to o on their part. South Africa were keen to rejoin 'the world', I'm not sure Kim is, and it wouldn't be hard to justify keeping them because China have them. That last bit is speculation of course.

A bit of a 'spin' on it, don't get me wrong, I think Trump is a fecking liability but that was hardly an unbiased 'report'. It was telling that as soon as Tricky Dicky went a bit 'peculiar' those involved in the process took action. Its a bit of a simplistic approach anyway, my understanding is that even if the 'head' is cut off there are back ups. Its such a crucial part of a country's defences (if you have them) that you can't have the 'red button' approach.

It does sound like a bit of an empty threat, if the Yanks are wanting to o pretty much anything involving giving NK a twatting it would have to be with Chinese agreement. Nothing like buttering them up with a veiled threat. Top Trumping by King Donald.

I think the MOAB's are more bunker busters, they just need to Tomahawk the crap out of the infrastructure. Any 'regime change' might be problematic though, the Chinese might be happy to let the Yanks crack on and flatten the place but I doubt it would work out well for the South Koreans. It'll either be the fat kid or a Chinese puppet. The problem is if the fat kid targets SK out of revenge. I'm not sure the US can stop trading with China, the Chinese own half of America now or at least own the US debts.

Japan isn't exactly a million miles away either. The nukey stuff does linger a bit and Allies won't be keen. There's also the point that the US wouldn't need to 'nuke' NK, they have enough conventional capability like TLAM. If there is a nuke fired, its going to be the fat kid, the old nutter doesn't need to, even in retaliation. He would have the moral support of pretty much the whole world too, China couldn't support anyone launching a nuke if they want to be friends (and trade) with the rest of the world, Kim is sadly reaching the 'put up or shut up' stages. Scary times but on the bright side, a lot of superheroes get their powers from nuclear accidents etc, we might all turn into X men types, what power would you want ? I'd probably get my sloth like laziness enhanced, Slothboy won't be coming to the rescue in a hurry.

Goddamn hippy.

What kind of proof are you looking for ? In any situation we make a judgement call, I'd be surprised if there were many (or any) that think the fat kid would be a safer set of hands than King Donald. There aren't many that I would say are bigger basket cases than Trump but in my judgement the fat kid is more of a phuqwit than the combover, Trump has to justify his actions for starters, he'll want a second term/legacy while the fat kid just does as he pleases. He's screwed if the US get the Chinese onside, its a high risk strategy.

The US have been in South Korea for a wee whiley now, they carry out regular 'exercises' etc, its what the military do. North Korea might not like it but for a long time their rhetoric has been about targeting America, not "we have a missile with a range of 5000 miles" its "we have a missile that can hit America". I can understand why they might be getting a bit antsy about it. The scary part is they also have a huffy child 'on the throne'.

I'm not sure what sanctions we've got left, we keep tightening them apparently. Think 'Big Donald' will have to open a new can of whoopass. I'd love to say I've got my popcorn at the ready but this could get messy. I do have an extra loaf of bread and pint of milk in though. Saying that, I'm so posh I don't know how much the pint of milk cost....

If Carlsberg did fantasies.....

Luckily I wasn't fussy, there weren't any supermodels in my trophy cabinet.