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BFTD

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Everything posted by BFTD

  1. BFTD
    Fixed; please pass on!
  2. BFTD
    Used by shitebags to deflect from their scumbaggery. This guy kens the score:
  3. BFTD
    Think she needs her radio repaired? My horror movies references are the key to my success with the ladies
  4. BFTD
    A trip to the gynaecologist awaits, I fear.
  5. BFTD
    Nuts & Zoo are still going? Swear I read they'd gone out of business due to the internet. Must be enough pensioners still buying to keep them going. And, curry lovers? You've killed the nerve endings in your mouths; that's why they don't seem as fiery as they used to. Glad to help!
  6. BFTD
    I'd no idea that men watched property programmes. You live and learn.
  7. BFTD
    Near enough
  8. BFTD
    Wow, this has happened a couple of times lately. Genuinely touched. Where's the Sarge to call me a c**t? The wean just arrived back down for a tearful apology and a quick game of Zombie Prom, so all's well
  9. BFTD
    Saw an advert and put it on the avoid list, even before the wife said, "what the f**k is that shit?" Very alarmed to read about Linehan's involvement
  10. BFTD
    Give us a few hours advance warning for next week and I'll join in - love a murder mystery! I'm assuming this show isn't a Columbo-style thing and I'm not being severely whooshed.
  11. BFTD
    Before bed, the wean informed me that he doesn't love me anymore, apropos of nothing. He's 8, FFS. The teenage years are starting a bit early. It'll be "I HATE YOU!!!" any day now
  12. BFTD
    In fairness to Sarge, it did read a little like you were saying you had a problem with foreign-sounding names, period. Happy to accept that we were mistaken, however. There we are, all friends again! Kumbaya, etc
  13. BFTD
    That actually sounds cracking; wish we had one of those. From our boy's nursery, obviously.
  14. BFTD
    I'm in my mid-thirties, so I'm just a c**t. Any suggestions for the 40-50 bracket, on the off-chance I make it that far?
  15. BFTD
    They will line their contact centre with the bones of your dead
  16. BFTD
    Funny, I don't remember us ever having orange juice.
  17. BFTD
    They used to make us shovel show off the paths My father loves to tell about how Ayrshire Council used to drag the cripples out to clear the roads and grit the pavements on pain of losing benefits (or whatever passed for benefits when he was a wean). Nice snapshot of society's differing views on the disabled.
  18. BFTD
    Paging Dr Throbber; Dr Throbber to the PTTGOYN!
  19. BFTD
    I worked with a guy who had his long-approved holiday cancelled because our bosses were useless buggers. He got his doctor to sign him off with depression, recommending that a (conveniently already booked) foreign holiday might help with his condition
  20. BFTD
    Really enjoyed my time in the Cubs, and I don't remember anything remotely rapey. Might have helped that several of our scout leaders were lassies, right enough.
  21. BFTD
    How long have you been working for the wife?
  22. BFTD
    Tbh Oh, if you insist. Remember: they're all pink on the inside.
  23. BFTD
    All we need is a bit of unpredictable movement in the box and we'll be set
  24. BFTD
    As a married man, I couldn't possibly sanction such a thing. I'll just be over here, not watching.
  25. BFTD
    "used toilet water" Sounds like the kind of drink you'd get from a vending machine in Japan.
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