BFTD

Agree with the filling-the-sink-with-dirty-dishes thing. Where's a man supposed to take a pish in an emergency?

More like Mr Hankey.

You only just seen that? It's been on for years. Not faulting you for your lack of TV viewing BTW, considering it's largely shite. Prefer this one myself. Wid.

Papal forest defecation.

1. Leave Miley's missus alone, Bert; he's suffered enough. 2. Both problems solved in one easy comic strip. (don't click on that, BTW; definitely not suitable for public consumption)

Mine. I told you, it's a long moustache.

These mini-rolls...is it just Livingston Lidl that stocks them?

These laddies? Wouldb't have been my first choices, but there you go.

Hopefully the coastguard can do a solid for the poor crew.

One of my molars finally fell apart a year or two back, but the dentist managed to salvage the remains after three attempts. The annoying thing is that the reformed tooth catches food between it and the next one in; first time I've ever had food get stuck between my teeth, and it's driving me mental. Even worse - the edge is quite sharp, so it shreds any floss that goes near it. Finally decided to whinge about this because my overgrown moustache somehow just got caught in the crevice

Is this about you being caught out as a raging racist? (I don't think anyone's serious about that, BTW)

Really? I think everyone remembers greeting like a bairn at the opening sequence. Tough, manly tears *sniff*

Didnae hear about this, but I'm guessing Crazy Dave put it down to aliens. Or Obama.

It shows that you 'care', you monster. The concept of caring has been redefined, I think.

Entity - flick about a parapsychologist who's employed to investigate the Siberian forest site where 34 unidentified bodies were discovered twelve years prior. Interesting to see Dervla Kirwan again, but this is a pretty dull supernatural thriller with little in the way of thrills. Whole thing feels a bit tired.

I thought I'd ended up on the Semen thread again.

"DA Baracus' huge sausage is very suspicious" ..."and it smells like fish, you say?"

The snap back to 7am wake-up time has clearly been too much for the wean. He snuggled up next to BigFatTabbyWife "for a few minutes" and has been zonked for the past four hours

Aye, that's something of an improvement. Albeit like a sprig of parsley on an overcooked turd.

Does anyone actually enjoy eating these rancid concoctions?

I'm sensing another poll here... Be a nice change from all the 'biggest roaster' ones.

With respect to the above, Phoenix might be P&B's master of the one-liner. He's caught me quite hard on a few occasions. All do good sterling work, however. I'm sensing the opportunity for all sorts of Weekend at Bernie's style fun here. Please, make sure to send us the pics before the cops catch up with you.

Who needs a dominatrix, eh?

Ah well, fair dos. The lassie I knew, it was just about money. She spent one evening a week changing adult diapers on a mentally disabled laddie in exchange for £500. Sounded more like care work, but apparently that on its own got him off, and he didn't actually need to wear the nappies. Bit awkward taking payment from his mother afterwards, though.

Out of greens, but that's quality work