BFTD

Gone - caught this on the telly the other night; one of the movies obviously inspired by the Australian backpacker murderer case, although they made the loony an American for some reason. It's about as straightforward a story as you can get, made less interesting by the changes from the original story. Weak sauce in comparison to Wolf Creek, which only suffers from the usual horror movie problem of characters making poor decisions.

Paranormal Entity 2 - sequel (in name only) to the straight-to-video knock-off of Paranormal Activity. A team of ghost hunters set up shop in the house built on land formerly occupied by the house that John Wayne Gacy did his torturin' in. Who will survive and what will be left of them? Well, nobody, as the opening captions helpfully point out. This is one of those turgid found-footage flicks where nothing happens for 98% of the running time, and you'll be utterly underwhelmed by the other 2%. Of special note is the risible psychic, who looks like she'd be more at home on a porn shoot and is staggeringly annoying. Her shirt unsurprisingly finds various methods of escaping from her torso - heaven, if you're a fan of bad implants. There are some mystifying Big Brother-style diary room shots peppered throughout too. It's just awful, with no redeeming features, and I feel that my own personal worth as a human being has dropped due to watching it.

Death Line - or Raw Meat, as our copy calls it. Early Seventies Donald Pleasance flick about a cannibal in the London Underground tunnels. The film's plot is very straightforward, preferring to show a lot of Don acting like a proper old-school knobhead copper, and our flesh-eating hero moping around his dank straw-covered abode. Really quite staggeringly dull considering the premise and star. Even a totally unnecessary cameo from Christopher Lee, present for literally one minute so his name could be included in the cast list, does nothing to hide the fact that practically nothing happens. A massive disappointment. Flightplan - after her husband's death, Jodie Foster flies home with her daughter, only for the kid to go missing during the flight. When nobody remembers the kid being on the plane, does that mean that Jodie's lost her mind, or is some kind of conspiracy keeping them apart? It's an entertaining thriller, marred only by the plot flying off the rails and stretching credibility beyond breaking point, which can be annoying. Definitely get the impression that the script could've used more work.

Caught a goodly portion of this on the telly during a sleepless night a few weeks ago. Quite an interesting watch, although the section on They Life was surely glaringly obvious to anyone that had ever seen it, and our philosopher host seemed like he was clutching at straws to support his theories on a few occasions. Still, looking forward to watching the rest when I'm more awake - it is pretty frazzling.

Tracked down a copy of this based on your review - had never heard of it before. Agree entirely with your opinion.

Apparently there'd be so many that we wouldn't be able to breathe without getting a lungful. But yeah, death or hideous nightmare monster arachnids...it would definitely need some thought

Inbred shitehouse wankers that turn up to their kids' school award ceremonies and stand braying at each other at the back of the hall. Bonus points for whinging about how bored you are while playing Angry Birds on your phone. I'm sure your kid has already worked out that you couldn't care less about them - do everyone a favour and stay home to watch Jeremy Kyle next year. Either that, or go drown yourself in a vat of rancid urine samples from the hospital, you utter c***s. (or so I said, in my dreams)

Read somewhere a while back that house spiders are as useless outdoors as domesticated mice and rabbits - put them outside and they can't take care of themselves. So, you have the option of living with creatures that look like your worst crack-induced nightmare, or killing them (one way or another) and living with the guilt. Admittedly that's not much of a choice Protip: don't dust the cobwebs. You only see them when they're looking for a new home. Leave their torture dens alone and they'll murder the living crap out of any flying beasties that even look at your place the wrong way

Can't help but think he's still there now, naked from the waist down barring socks and shoes, pining for the gentle caress of a caring hand on his nutsack. How will you sleep, you monster.

The theater/theatre thing threw me for a while...I spent a few weeks thinking everyone was surprisingly cultured in the States, considering how often they were talking about visits to the theater. Edit: is it too late to go back to "The Talkies"?

Freddy vs Jason - saw this in the cinema years ago, and don't remember it being particularly inspiring. However, after watching Friday the 13th Part 7, it comes across as a classic. Actually quite enjoyed it, and it's certainly more entertaining than most in the Elm Street/Friday franchises. I'm starting to base my rental habits around this thread - thanks to all contributors! Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan next *shudder*

You'd almost feel sorry for the poor wee monster, if you didn't know what he'd been responsible for. That's an impressive feat. Also: FEGELEIN!!! Pram tipped, toys everywhere

The Croods - I abandoned this when Generic Boyfriend character appeared. Does it get any better?

Thought I was imagining that - we just bought some for the first time in a year or so, and there's a very different texture to them. I'd think it was part of an attempt to reduce the calories or something, but I don't remember them trumpeting that anywhere, which they would have done. So...cost cutting? Inferior quality taters, maybe?

Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood. Dear God, that was chronic.

You mean this one, right? There's an actual PE5 out at Halloween, apparently. This one is, I guess, PE 1.5, for reasons that will be obvious to those that have seen it.

Julianne

Carrie - the most recent remake (there have been several, surprisingly). Wee misfit lassie from a domineering religious background begins to understand the telekinetic powers that she's blessed with, and...well, without giving too much away, the bullies that have been picking on her suffer accordingly. Liked the De Palma adaption, despite the usual 'creepy old perv' vibe that his films give off, but I liked this one a little better. The wife tells me it's closer to the book (I read it so long ago that I don't remember), and the slight changes make for a more interesting experience. Everybody is convincingly sympathetic/disgusting/terrifying, and the only thing I didn't appreciate was the very last shot, which was obviously trying to echo the De Palma film, but would've worked better with something a bit more subtle IMO. Still, quality stuff all round. Edited for religious reasons

Give the fisting a break for a wee while and you'll be fine. Bonus: maybe her "Channel Tunnel" will tighten up a bit too

You were thinking of Part 6: Jason Lives. Watching it right now under duress. It's decent though, you're not wrong. The Bond thing got a good laugh from those old enough to know what it was a reference to. Also, your old posts - I remembers them

One of the current headline stories on BBC Sport - "England knocked out of World Cup". I know they're getting some practice in early, but it surely wouldn't have been that hard to include "Hockey" or "Women" in the strapline. Thought I'd had a two-week long blackout.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/scotland/27741310 Pretty impressive title, considering that the man at no point gives any indication about why he'd have a grudge in the first place Do we think Craig Levein still holds any grudges?

Just noticed the way you typed the title, and I think we both downloaded the same dodgy copy Everyone here quite liked it, TBH. The ending could've been stronger, but could've been a lot worse too. Having said that, my standards are pretty low, and the family are used to being subjected to much worse Oh, Jeffrey Combs was almost unrecognisable; pretty impressed with him lately. Really don't get the big deal about Sasha Grey though. She stuck out like...well, a porn star in a room of actual actors.

Just so's you know, I fancied the sound of this from your recommendation, and have it downloaded for tonight's entertainment. You have touched me with your words, sir! Edit: bollocks, just noticed the score

I live in the sticks, relatively, so I've never seen this. If it's already branded by Virgin, where do they put the "name"? Also, no jibes about living in the sticks and relatives, ya bassa