BFTD

They kinda have to. I've worked at places that were scrambling around in September to find somewhere that wasn't already booked up. I get the impression that a lot of offices, assuming they were happy with the place, immediately book ahead for the next Christmas. It does speak volumes that this is the primary concern in a lot of people's minds, however.

Div won't put up with talk of illegal activities - I sense the ban(yan)hammer will be coming soon

One post from Philpy and the thread comes alive! No wonder he's such a poplar boy. Rotten at puns - actually had to steal that from someone else

Paranormal Activity 3 & 4 - number three is a prequel to the first two, showing us the days leading up to the big trauma in our heroine's forgotten childhood. While it doesn't quite hit the heights of the second film, it's still decent, with plenty of nice set pieces and some likeable characters to root for. The same can't be said for Part 4, which brings us up-to-date as Katie resurfaces in present day Nevada, causing havoc for the neighbours. It feels very much tagged-on to the main series of films, largely because it doesn't really do much to advance the over-arcing plot. The general haunting of the new family feels a bit 'meh' too, although I enjoyed it more on this viewing than the first time round. For what it's worth, I'm thinking that the chart goes: 2>3>4.5>1>4

Paranormal Entity 3 - yet another movie based around the supposed possession of Annaliese Michel, a Bavarian girl who spent the best part of a year undergoing an exorcism in the '70s, before dying from malnutrition. The film tries to set up a conflict between the girl's religious family and priest, and a medical team with a documentary crew, the interviewer of which seems to have travelled back in time from the present day, judging by his dialogue. This is probably the most boring exorcism movie I've seen, with very little happening and no sense of suspense at all. There's an awful lot of unsubtitled German dialogue, including lengthy and repeated audio-only recordings of what sounds like a girl being coached through a particularly tricky shit. Poor, although probably no worse than you'd expect from The Asylum, whose films are the movie industry's equivalent to a thirty-seventh generation photocopy.

Old but gold - coverage of disasters implying that British lives are more valuable than anybody else's. I know that every country's news probably does the same thing, but it's shitty nonetheless.

Forgetting about your team's only pre-season home friendly that isn't against other Scottish part-timers. Surprisingly irritated with myself about this.

"Posh Dogs", "Glamping", and everything else invented by p***ks to allow themselves to enjoy something that they'd normally consider beneath them. Also in this vein, every Marks & Spencer commercial for at least ten years.

Didn't realise it was on the radio too. I guess somebody screaming abuse at other drivers while a wean wails in the background might work. Although it'd just blend in for the target audience.

I've always understood that as being code for having lost weight, which is all people seem to care about, health-wise. You won't hear it if you've kicked your skag habit, as you've likely gained weight, so are therefore unhealthy. I'm guessing

They'd have been better off with hidden camera footage of tossers who actually carry on like that IMO. Only the drivers would never agree to it, as they'd likely be prosecuted for dangerous driving. And it'd be unbroadcastable anyway. Terrible idea, carry on.

Add me to the '70s Body Snatchers love-in. I've liked them all, actually, but the Donald Sutherland one is easily the best, and quite chilling. What happened to Donald Sutherland? He stopped being in decent films around the time that Keifer started his career. Other than Don't Look Now, does anyone have suggestions for quality Sutherland flicks? Here's my personal favourite:

Loved Transformers when I was a kid. The storylines on these movies are chronic. And I've found the character designs utterly baffling - they're all just an unrecognisable shifting mass of triangular shards. It's like something went wrong during an initial render and they decided to run with it. Stunning that so much money could be spent on making something look so terrible. The casting people seem to love horrible actors too. Shia LeBeouf, then Marky Mark? Not mentioning the women, as acting isn't a requirement to wash cars in your skants.

Thanatomorphose - some chick starts to rot and stays in her flat to let it happen. That's it. The whole film. Think an entire movie of Jeff Goldblum's falling-apart scenes in The Fly. There's absolutely nothing of any value here, artistically or in terms of pure entertainment. It's an awful art-school short stretched out to feature length. Ponderous, barely-acted, appalling camera work, dire sound mix, clearly no script, even the fucking lighting is bad and the effects work seems to have been inspired by Nekromantic. I'm actually appalled at the idea that somebody else might waste their time with this, in the same way that you might desperately hope that nobody else goes near the whore that you caught syphilis from. So, please, don't watch this film, and distrust anyone who suggests you do otherwise. It's one of the worst things I've ever seen, and I've seen so many bad films that suicide occasionally seems preferable to living with the memory of them all.

It was a special day, for 'special' people.

I know he's got the uber-hack reputation, but his films are sometimes fun, in a stupid way. His Exorcist prequel was more entertaining (as a bad movie) than Paul Schrader's snorefest, for example. And Deep Blue Sea is quality! Totally agree with the nork budget though - the director's artistic vision should never be compromised!

Based on your recommendation, I rented this from LoveFilm. The disc and sleeve arrived today, drenched in what looks and smells suspiciously like what I can only describe as 'spooge'. Anything you'd like to confess...?

Hostel 2 - gleefully excessive sequel that could fairly be labelled 'torture porn'. Following a group of young women on their inevitable journey to Slovakian doom, it's not as taut as the original, and spends more time examining the organisation behind the killing. It's all about the execution this time around (ha ha), and your enjoyment will very much depend on your stomach for watching gruesome and very painful, lingering deaths. I thought it was a fun epilogue to the original; not to be taken seriously. Horror fans will no doubt love the cameos - I personally SQUEE'd a bit at the brief appearance of Ruggero Deodato as (what else?) a sadistic cannibal. Hostel 3 - We're at the inevitable straight-to-video, original-director-no-longer-involved part of the series now. A group of guys head off to Vegas for their friend's stag night, and it's fair to say that some of them won't be returning. The plot starts off by subverting a few things that we've come to expect, and adds a new location-based twist on the killers' rationale, but generally comes off as a pretty unnecessary third installment. It's not without entertainment value, but finishing here before the downhill slide continues would probably be a smart move. Worth a look if you liked the others, but don't expect the earth.

The Dyatlov Pass Incident - might as well get this out of the way first; Gemma Atkinson almost gets her huge fake norks out at one point, but the budget must not have stretched far enough for glamour model knockers. Found-footage movie about a student expedition to die in peculiar circumstances at the Russian site of the infamous 1959 Dyatlov expedition, where everybody died in peculiar circumstances. No spoiler necessary; the film gives that away within five minutes. Renny Harlin does a decent enough job of building up to the arrival at the site, before the whole thing takes a massive nosedive in the final third, pulling plot devices and antagonists out of its arse like impacted turds, along with a pretty uninspired MacGuffin. The final zoom-in to confirm what's been blatantly obvious for some time just adds insult to injury.

On the subject of pedestrians crossing the road, the crossing outside the bus station in Stirling used to be quality. Press the button, and the lights would change IMMEDIATELY. Evil b*****ds like myself would take great pleasure at the panic from speeding traffic Was like that for years too. Also, be grateful for our pedestrian crossings. I used to live in Arizona, and crossings are put in as an afterthought, purely because jaywalking is illegal. I never found a crossing that gave anything like enough time to make it across the road, even if you sprinted, and traffic considered you a target if you were still there when the lights changed, The message is very much that you've no business travelling anywhere on foot. And I used to cross the entrance to a freeway on the way home every day - a set of three different crossing lights. It literally took a minimum of half an hour just to cross this small section of road. Yes, I used to time it; didn't have a whole lot else to do while baking in 40C heat, waiting for lights to change. OK, I'm done.

Fucking hell!

In my defence, I was a Tiscali customer from back in the BT LineOne days, and was inherited by TalkTalk after the buyout. The service didn't change, so I haven't had cause to get in touch with them until the past year. Tiscali sorted out a line problem at a previous address pretty quickly; TalkTalk couldn't give less of a shit, so long as the direct debit goes through every month. Only other contact I've had with TalkTalk since they took over has been the almost daily cold calls and mailshots asking me to sign up for a two year contract for the same service at an increased price. Which, they insist, is less than I'm currently paying. Exactly how stupid do they think I am?

Fucking TalkTalk. Utterly pig-headed insistence on doing nothing to fix problems with our phone line. Having to switch and hope another provider understands that howling noise on the line is unacceptable. I don't get it. They might save money now on engineer visits, but their customers will gradually go elsewhere as they hit issues, and won't return

Landlords. Utter c***s, to a man, woman and ladyboy. Except you, sjc. You're lovely