BFTD

Martyrs is a quality film too, IMO. Disagree with the negatives on Srpski Film and Irreversible; all three were very successful at what they set out to do, assuming that was to make the viewer's skin crawl. Worked for me, but I guess not for everyone. Jesus Christ, did they work for me

"On-call doctor" = dealer that lives near a courier depot.

I picked that one up years ago. It sucks. That, word for word, comes out of my son's mouth with alarming regularity. Clearly, I have shamed myself.

Sorry, I thought you wrote 'bit', singular. Carry on. No, wait, that's still weird. Leprosy?

A double bill of Irreversible and A Serbian Film would put most folk on suicide watch. Both really well made, but bleak as all hell, and take a perverse pleasure in rubbing your nose right in it. Apparently Gaspar Noe had a lot of low-frequency sound included on Irreversible's soundtrack to make the audience feel nauseous. Worked pretty well IMO.

Isn't that the London Olympics logo?

FFS, stop trying to glue it back on and call a doctor.

Had a feeling you were going to say that.

Really need a central repository for 8MileBU's finest moments - where might this one be found, sir?

Apologies if I'm repeating myself, but we had a REC-stravaganza recently and I'm not sure if I mentioned them here. [REC] - Spanish found-footage movie about a film crew following the night shift at a fire station. They find themselves quarantined in an apartment building after attending a routine call, and all hell breaks loose. This is a very decent and effective horror film, successfully combining several genres while building to a nice "WTF?" ending. The female lead turns into an annoying warbling mess after a while, but in general it provides plenty of interesting characters to go along with. [REC] 2 - Direct follow-on to the above, following a SWAT team sent into the apartment building to find out what's been going on...or so they think. This starts out like an average unnecessary horror sequel; decent, but uninspired. However, it builds nicely as it goes, throwing a few curveballs into the narrative, and ends up being a worthy addition to the series. Required viewing once you've seen the original. [REC] 3 - Chaos breaks out at a wedding reception after one of the guests shows signs of infection by the virus from the first two films. A poor third installment in the series, that sadly has very little to do with the previous movies. The film takes the interesting decision to abandon the found-footage formula early on, but quickly degenerates into a mediocre zombie movie, with little to distinguish it from the hundreds of others in the genre. There's also a streak of attempted levity throughout that doesn't sit well, considering that everything has been played straight up until this point. It's easy to get the impression that this only exists to make some money for a proper sequel to #2. Quarantine - American remake of the original [REC}. This is almost a scene-by-scene copy, with a few inconsequential additions. It's not awful, but just isn't quite as well done as the Spanish film, and doesn't have the same feel of realism. Not a bad watch, but it would spoil [REC] for anyone who hadn't seen it, so should be avoided for that reason alone. Check out the director's unreleased The Poughkeepsie Tapes if you can, as it's much more interesting.

I thought this was a joke until there were other responses. You mean to say that there are people who'll give free money to a notoriously unethical multinational on the off-chance that they'll give a ludicrously overpriced cup of coffee to the underclass that they'd discourage from being anywhere near their estabishments? You would genuinely have to be devoid of any critical thinking faculties. A donation to the Conservative Party would do more for the homeless.

I think you'll find that a fair few folk take that as an insult - "you're too old and slow, get out of the road". Unless they're actually short, which is a different matter.

I thought that was a bit weird too. Help someone out if they're a bit short, sure, but pay the whole thing because they're fumbling a bit? Seems a bit patronising, or maybe like you're after a winch

Fling shite at them? Daddy Long Legs are worse, they actually seem to seek you out.

Disclosure - Michael Douglas is sexually harassed by new boss Demi Moore, which wasn't considered a bad thing in 1994. Mike's had more than his fair share of quality ass, however, and is unimpressed, leading to a game of corporate cat-and-mouse. The thriller aspect is quite fun, as are Demi's then-new boobs, and there's some hilariously bad techy stuff mixed in, culminating in Ms Moore turning into SHODAN from System Shock. There's some nice gender-reversal dialogue too. Quite entertaining. The Forgotten - Julianne Moore's child dies, and then everyone forgets it happened. What could possibly be going on? It's an OK thriller, but becomes a bit soppy and has a wish-fulfillment ending. Not worth going out of your way to see, even for (the other) Ms Moore. Them - the French horror flick 'Ils', not the legendary black and white Sci-Fi classic. A housesitting couple are terrorised by mysterious assailants. The film's pretty straightforward, and doesn't offer as much in the way of thrills as I was expecting. It doesn't build to a satisfying ending either, so a bit of a disappointment all round. In Dreams - Annette Bening sees psychic visions of a serial killer's murders and attempts to track him down. This is a very familiar plot with a lot of extraneous detail wrapped around. It's one of those curious psychic movies where nobody believes the main character's claims to begin with, but soon change their mind with very little evidence. It's all a little dull, to be honest, even when the mystery star murderer is unveiled. Eye of the Beholder - Ewan MacGregor is a private eye who stumbles upon a serial killer (Ashley Judd). He spends the rest of the movie following her on her travels, alternately protecting her and jealously foiling her schemes. This is a very peculiar film, and one that is clearly designed to have symbolic interpretations imposed upon it, but it doesn't change the fact that it's terribly dull to sit through, no matter what theory you conjure up. On the other hand, Ashley Judd looks absolutely delectable, so somebody deserves praise on that score. Her parents, perhaps? VLOG - a horribly self-absorbed narcissist finds herself attracting unwanted attention when she starts a soporific video blog. It's quite obvious where the plot is going at an early stage, and it gets surprisingly gruesome at times, but the film's more annoying than anything else. The Exorcism of Emily Rose - a priest is put on trial after a young girl dies during an exorcism. I don't remember having much of a problem with this on original release, but there so many of these "demons are real" films around now that it's starting to feel like they might be funded by the Catholic Church. It's probably still an enjoyable addition to the genre, but there are enough contradictions in the courtroom logic to make it off-putting, for me at least. The Illusionist - Ed Norton is the titular magician, who reappears in nineteenth-century Vienna years after being separated from his childhood sweetheart, a young Duchess. This is a surprisingly romantic tale, finishing with a Usual Suspects-style flashback twist at the end. The leading players are all very good, with Paul Giamatti a particular standout as the police chief charged with keeping Norton away from the duchess. The film had the misfortune to come out around the same time as the superior The Prestige, but this is still a solid tale that's well worth a viewing. I think I'm done now. Night all!

The book's worth a read too - the original ending was certainly entertaining to visualise

A bit Rocky in parts. I'll get my coat.

My son loves that film. I'd include Sand Sharks in that list.

Watching Disclosure at the moment, which reminded me of this. Looking forward to trying the above, but I draw the line at watching The Hunger Games again. I don't get why adults would find them remotely interesting; childish derivative muck, even down to the appalling character names. But each to their own, as ever

Thanks for the recommendation - didn't know much of the details until seeing this. Armstrong is a complete sociopath and everyone should be relieved that he ended up working in a relatively meaningless field.

The allocated seating thing doesn't really work without ushers, as people just sit where they like. Plus, as mentioned elsewhere, the staff have a weird desire to sit everyone in a wee cluster in the middle. Maybe it's so we can all hold hands at the scary bits? Not sure why they brought it back, to be honest. I wouldn't want it brought back, but I used to like intermissions when I was kid. Our local cinema was the only place I'd ever been that sold raspberry cornettos, so I'd nip out for one while the adults were all having a quick pint Does anyone else find the VIP seats at Vue less comfortable than the regular ones? I've only used them twice, but my arse was aching afterwards. Edit for evil typos.

Numberwank.

How did it go today, chaps? Sounded like a good straightforward start to the season. Nice to see Greig getting among the goals early on.

Please don't! Dogging's always sounded rank to me, and nothing in my extensive studies has caused me to change my mind

Lived in London for several years, and there are plenty of folk there who would consider that a reasonable assumption, in a Hills Have Eyes/Deliverance/Fife way. Although in the States, I was asked if I was related to Sean Connery. On more than one occasion. Seriously boys, go visit America. Knee deep, I'm tellin' ya. Edit for added offence to Fifers