BFTD

We need to be ready for the war that a worrying number of "patriots" are clearly willing to happen because they missed out on WWII. Don't think they have any clear idea who they want to be the enemy though, considering Nazi Germany's off the table. We've had the War on Terror, so could we pull off a "War on Foreigners"? Maybe we could just pay random countries to slaughter a few thousand BRITTISH! conscripts every now and then and declare it a great victory for God and King Chuckles.

We beat them 6-1 at the end of the season when they still needed points for a play-off place, then we contrived to lose to them in the play-off final. I'm still not sure how they got promoted TBH, and they were worse the following season. Their star striker was Isaac Layne, who joined them after being way out of his depth playing for us in the Championship. Not sure what else their board thought would happen.

She mastered photography a while back; you might have missed it being in the news. Also, there's a lot made out of her preternatural ability to play the piano after only a scant few years of lessons, which is virtually unheard of among girls from privileged backgrounds. If it turns out she can ride a horse, we should probably have an extra Bank Holiday in her honour or something.

Uganda was run by His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, CBE, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular and the Last King of Scotland. Meanwhile in Britain: "I say Wills, fancy being the Great Master of the Order of the Bath?

*sigh* I'm too tired to Kenneth.

It must have revived the memory of the last time I cleared out my underwear drawer and found a pair of M&S boxers. I don't think I've made an M&S purchase in a decade or more. Thankfully I was able to post about my ancient jumper to avoid telling anyone on here about that embarrassment! Here's the Sellick Hoose, for anyone who missed it. Worth the click: https://www.onthemarket.com/details/14721898/#/photos/11 I don't think I've owned that many pairs of shoes in my entire 40+ years.

Every now and then you'll see an argument that's such risible bullshit that anyone repeating it seems suspicious by association. Like choosing to believe that Jews eat babies - very obviously untrue, so it tells you more about the person who repeats it than the people they're trying to attack. The Israeli government has really stepped up their production of these in recent months.

Especially Kilmarnock, surely.

Finally, the thread(s) that everyone's been waiting for! See title. Do you have a pair of pants that remember Original Recipe Rangers? Perhaps none of your socks are older than a single day? Maybe you still have the shirt your great-great-grandpa stole from the dressing room after Dundee last won the Scottish Cup (j/k, he was too young). Confess all; we don't judge. I've got a very studenty sweater that celebrated its thirtieth birthday last year. It's still intact, although the arms hang down to my knees, but I'll wear it around the house if it gets a bit chilly. Only bought it because I stupidly left the house without a jacket on a freezing day, so it's done well. Hopefully somebody's got something more interesting/disgusting than this.

Football clubs are like tube trains - just wait a bit and someone will bring you another one along to jump onto.

I guess watching videos on coach trips must have been common; I went on a school trip to Spain in the early Nineties and we were asked to bring a video so we'd have a library to watch on the way (36 hours on a bus; f**k's sake). I took Life of Brian, which was the final pick as none of the other kids had heard of it. I was the hero of the bus for two hours as everyone loved it and the other films had either been pish or everyone had seen them a million times before. I've walked out of three films; Peter Jackson's King Kong, and two others that I can't remember anymore, so they must have been really memorable. I had Cineworld Unlimited when I walked out of King Kong, so I knew I could just walk into something better; it was sinfully boring, like a lot of Peter Jackson's output since he got to Hollywood and set about slavishly adapting/remaking the fiction of his youth.

If I were a cynic, I'd say that it's just that public opinions have gradually shifted more towards those espoused by the National Front, so being assumed to be a fascist isn't as big a deal as it once was. And I am a cynic, so I will Quite right that they should be flying their own fleg at England games, though. Showing up at an England game with '(the) Rangers)' on a Union Fleg in the hope of being called a good boy is tragic behaviour. Argentina were well aware that they were pish and decided to try shitfesting for penalties in every match after squeaking out of the group. They almost managed it. I believe FIFA brought in some new guidance regarding abuse of the referee after World Cup 90, as Argentina formed a huddle around the ref to timewaste virtually every time play stopped. Couldn't have been happier when Ze Germans finally put them to bed.

Yeah, I was never keen on the idea either, but that's true of a lot of things in Scottish football! I didn't like play-offs either when the Football League in England first brought them in, but they've undeniably made for a more exciting end of season. Play-off matches tend to be much better viewing too, and not just for fans of the teams involved. How about a 14-team third tier with two down automatically, plus the next two in play-offs with some of the Highland/Lowland League clubs? Plenty of movement for the non-league teams, and a decent chance of getting back in for those who drop out. Nothing will happen regarding the pyramid until Celtgers get their way with B teams, though. They'll happily let it stagnate out of spite.

That would end as soon as a 4th place part-time side managed to get past the 11th best team in the Premiership, especially if it was against one of the clubs Gordon Strachan thinks should never be relegated. The horror! Agreed on the Highland/Lowland champs, but you're fucking taking Falkirk and that's all there is to it. No sending Morton back to us either.

Everyone plays twice for 30 games, then a split for another seven games each for 37 matches in total. Not saying it's my preferred choice, but that sounds do-able.

You could backfill fill three 18-team leagues with Highland & Lowland League sides, and then some, before Cowden would get a sniff. Thankfully there'd be no need to include reserve teams either.

You're not kidding. Why on Earth would you buy that many pairs of shoes? Carrie Bradshaw stuck them all in a cupboard, at least. Not that I'd know.

This is all The Sims 3000, and dark matter is the DLC locked away behind a paywall.

Neither, but we're doing addled experiences right now. I'd like to think it was his worst, though. I've never been that scared of anything, never mind a giant projection of Christian Bale's face.

Alternatively, there'll be a unity candidate who promises to leave the ECHR, bring back capital punishment for paedos and illegals, and dismantle the welfare state to reduce tax. They'll know that they probably won't manage it all, but the amount of votes they'll get will be terrifying, especially from groups that would be negatively affected. Maybe it'll be Nigel Farage, although he'll have to win an election where more than 20% of the electorate turn up first.

This is shameful. I'm putting on a South African accent if I ever need to go abroad again; it would be less embarrassing.

Glasgow Cineworld on Renfrew Street, Batman Begins when it was new out. Junkie in the front row, absolutely wasted, babbling away to himself happily. Nothing abnormal for that cinema (at the time, anyway). During the early prison scene, our hero suddenly starts screaming, "IT'S BATMAN! BATMAAAAAN!" as loud as he could, which causes the lassie at the other end of his row to jump up and bolt for the door. By the time she comes back with ushers (or whatever the staff are called now), he's degenerated into proper terror about whatever he's imagining on the screen, sliding down on his seat until he's almost on the floor. He didn't resist when the staff grabbed arms and legs and carried him out, still screaming. All over within a few minutes and didn't spoil the screening too much TBH. Good film; would recommend.

I was going to mention how P&B inevitable treats these things as a beauty pageant, and it never goes well I guess that solves the mystery of why we never went on holiday to Benidorm.

That's fucking terrifying. But I suppose that's the point.

Cowdenbeath gave it a good go. I think that might become more common than you'd think - traditionally lower-league part-timers going into free-fall after a spell in the second tier and dropping through the leagues. It doesn't look likely right now, but that's my nightmare about Alloa - all it takes is poor decisions (or a rapacious shyster) in the boardroom and everything can fall apart at literally any of the part-time clubs. Clyde have been hovering about the trapdoor for a while now; a traditionally top-tier club who were almost promoted there again twenty years ago, now struggling just to exist. No wonder they all went mad. Edit: it's proving to be virtual exile too - the experience so far is that if you don't make it back before the two-season parachute payments end, you ain't coming back at all.