BFTD

Remarkable how many turn out to be The Rangers fans too. It's like clockwork.

Massively preferable. The party could sue to get the money back from all the profit. Unless somehow he managed to be the first drug manufacturer to lose money, which would make him our very own Donald Trump.

They've worked to take medical professionals out of the decisions regarding disability for a long time, so this is the next logical step. It'll be being floated to put the shits up everyone who works for a living (and isn't thick enough to believe that they'll never be affected by illness) so that we'll feel relieved by whatever halfway measure the Tories/Labour decide to implement in the name of "modernisation". Just the tip instead of a full forcible rogering. As ever, the aim is to take away the wealthy's responsibility for anything to do with the paupers, and everything points to them continuing to succeed in this aim for the foreseeable future.

Presumably they shit themselves when they notice there isn't an available lavvy in their immediate vicinity.

I've been watching this in instalments when over at my mum's place, and I got her well warned early on that she's just going to have to ignore the fact that people can somehow live for hundreds of years and not even age. I played right through Fallout 3, and put hundreds of hours into New Vegas and Fallout 4, and I don't remember it ever being explained. The wonders of magic Fifties radiation, I guess. Edit: we're on Episode 6 now, and I'm impressed that it actually gets better as it goes on. Best thing I've seen on TV in a long time.

Still really hoping there's more to this than the defollicled one buying a mobile home with party funds and leaving it unused on his maw's driveway when the purpose for buying it didn't pan out. It must be the shittest fraud scam of all time; where's the ambition? Hopefully they found a few bodies in the garden, at least. It would be less embarrassing.

I've been lucky with this lately, as maybe fifteen years ago it seemed like every screening would have some group of knobs ignoring their film and cackling away about moronic shite on their phones. There was a spike in this after lockdown, as some people genuinely seemed to forget how to act in public and were positively giddy about being out of the house again, but it seems to have calmed down again. Then again, I have a tendency to end up in screenings with only a handful of other people, and sometimes nobody else at all, so perhaps that's the secret - avoid Friday/Saturday nights. Regarding the porn cinema, a friend once told me that she'd gone to see Caligula in a "private club" in Edinburgh with a group of mates back when it was new out and she was still a schoolgirl. She was horrified when one of her mates whipped his cock out and started ripping the heid aff at one point, only to look around and realise that's what everyone else was doing

This was me also. We got decent seats though, and I was with people who were massive LotR fans - I'd heard of the books and nothing more, but had seen Peter Jackson's early films and was impressed by his imagination and humour. My arse was absolutely aching by the end of it, but they just seemed delighted to have seen Gandalf and were completely oblivious to how tedious the whole affair had been. Being a total idiot, I let them drag me along to the sequels, and would later believe my mother when she told me that the 12-hour DVD editions were definitive and would change my mind - what was I expecting, that they'd cut out all the interesting stuff for the cinema? I saw Attack of the Clones with some of the same group - also big Star Wars nerds - and the most entertaining part was listening to them trying to manufacture positives from what had been a crushingly dull and poorly-advised film. Yoda hopping about like a frog on crack, FFS. Worst seat I've had for a film was with the same group for Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes remake. One of them was late, so the others insisted we wait outside rather than doing the sensible thing and letting them find us inside. They finally arrived after the film had started, so when we marched in there were only single seats left dotted about the theatre and a line of seats in the front row off to the side. My idea was that we just get the single seats and meet up afterwards, but the geniuses insisted we stay together. It was a huge theatre, and the available front row seats were so close and far over that you had to turn 90° to the right to see a sliver of the screen, so all I saw for two hours was a blurry mess. I had to go back and watch it again at a later date, as I'd no idea what was going on. There were muttered oaths to the first Mrs BFTD that, if her mates pulled this shit again, she was on her own and I'd be doing my own thing. Frankly, I was mortified enough that we'd disturbed the screening by walking in late.

I just saw a terrible film and I'm struggling to remember having seen a worse one in the cinema - plenty on video/streaming, but that's not quite the same as when you make the effort to go out and pay over the odds for cinema popcorn. I figure I must have seen between 500 and 1000 films in the cinema by now, so that's quite impressive. Well done, The First Omen. So, what's the worst/best time P&B has had in a cinema? Did anyone have their worldview forever altered by Freddy Got Fingered? Perhaps the screen burned down during a good war film and terrorists shot up the place? Did you turn up to a packed showing to discover that the previous occupant had exploded from at least one end in the seat you'd been allocated? Or maybe you just went to see one of these. (we're not including times you got your hole at the movies, or that Hibernian teenager and his "girlfriend" would be all over this thread, and I'd be nominating a midnight showing of Disney's Dinosaur. Unless it turned out to be your worst cinema experience; we need to hear about that)

The First Omen (cinema) - the story of how erstwhile Antichrist Damian was born. This appears to have had decent reviews from both critics and audiences, which really surprised me as it's probably the worst film I've ever seen in the cinema. It's sinfully boring, doesn't feel anything like the prior films, performs some random retconning, and has at least three moments that are supposed to be in some way horrifying or disturbing, but are laugh-out-loud funny. It also does a bit of that "REMEMBER THIS FROM THE ORIGINAL? HERE IT IS AGAIN, DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?" shite that has become so common in franchise films over the past fifteen years or so. I'm at a total loss as to why people liked this; The Exorcist: Believer was similarly atrocious, but this manages to be worse. The "twist" is very apparent from early on, is lazily ripped directly from several other classic Seventies horror films, and the shameless nonsensical sequel-baiting looks likely to come to fruition, unfortunately. Satan only knows what horrors await in the further comedy adventures of the

Jennifer's an early developer. I don't think I stared into the void until I hit my teens.

Gonnae make sure to click the 'Submit Reply' button after ye finish typing, eh? Thanks pal!

Probably the same reason there are folk in Colorado who take literal babies to the midnight showing of Murder Death Slaughter 4* - if given the option of taking their kids to an age-inappropriate event or staying at home and being a parent, some people will always choose to run away from responsibility. * for those who don't know, this is a literal thing you can do in America, and every horror film I ever went to would have someone being forced to leave within the first ten minutes because their young child unsurprisingly wigged the f**k out. FREEDOM!

@The Chlamydia Kid just balances a couple of kegs on his shoulders and brings them to the table.

I forgot about that. Apparently that was one of several attempts Universal made to create a Dark Universe series of classic monster movies before torpedoing the whole thing with The Mummy. Just read that Renfield and that Abigail thing were originally supposed to be part of it too...I'm guessing the former turned out a lot different to how it was originally planned!

Old Noel was one of the frontrunners when everyone was wondering who that C4 Dispatches special about an entertainment industry predator was going to be about. Seems it's an open secret that he shags schoolgirls, so remember to act surprised when the expose finally happens. I guess youngsters in the Forties will be talking about how attitudes were so different in the Aughts in the same way we had that discussion about the Seventies.

Reading through it, I don't understand how that guy's getting treated any differently to anyone else claiming to be a psychic in exchange for money. You prosecute one and it just gives the others the veneer of credibility.

Wicked Little Letters (cinema) - in 1920's England, Olivia Colman's buttoned-up religious spinster becomes the target of a hate mail campaign, for which the finger of blame falls on young Irish immigrant Jessie Buckley, whose regular foul-mouthed tirades bear a striking similarity to the letters. Really enjoyed this. There's been some criticism of the plot for not really being the whodunnit that some people were expecting, but that element's just seasoning on the delicious meal of an excellent cast being outraged while reading obscene letters aloud. Unfair to pick anyone out as they're all great, and it's just a really entertaining period flick of the type England does so well, with the added bonus of being quite amusing. Also quite alarming how much of it actually happened. Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (cinema) - big monkey meet other big monkeys. Big lizard unhappy; no-one know why. Will fight happen? (spoiler: yes) They've made a few sensible decisions in this series - Kong's the audience surrogate who we empathise with, they've kept Godzilla as an enigmatic force of nature with his own motivations that nobody tries to humanise, and increasingly the humans exist purely to explain why the big monsters are about to batter each other, just in case you weren't paying attention. It's a formula that works just fine if you're primarily concerned with seeing the big lads destroy cities, and it does the trick here too. None of these films are a patch on what the Japanese have been doing, but they scratch an itch of their own. They'll eventually run out of steam - and there are signs already that they're struggling to top previous films in the series - but this is a perfectly acceptable entry if you're a fan of these things and don't mind turning your brain off for a bit of smashy-smashy fun times, as the plot's pretty risible. God only knows where they can go next, but there are probably quite a few of us who'd be happy enough with watching the big boys stomp some menacing threat in similar fashion for the foreseeable. Next stop might be some kind of kaiju Justice League, so it'll need to be something pretty big and nasty next time.

I'm legally required to do something similar.

I was going to suggest he'd offer up his youngest daughter, but then remembered that Ivanka is his only daughter. IVANKA. IS. HIS. ONLY. DAUGHTER.

"He approached me in a public space while being openly black, Your Honor - what else was I supposed to do but open fire?" "...and she was still alive when I left the scene, Your Honour".

Wow, you work with my son? This is all I heard today. Even missed a train because he could only walk at half speed. Think he was angling for me to carry him like the days before he grew a fucking beard.

Must be something about that bridge. Think I mentioned it at the time, but last year I was on my way home at Stirling and some jake got off the Edinburgh train, whipped his knob out, and pished down the top of the stairs to Platform 3. Everyone just walked round him. (no, it wasn't me)

How dare you, sir. He's a comic genius when he puts his mind to it.