I tried to kill myself 7 years ago on the 12th of November. I always remembered the date for some reason.
I was in my early 20's, didn't have much going for me and was drinking quite a lot at the time which is often a recipe for disaster, especially if you are depressed already.
Partly it was because I felt that I had made too many mistakes and spurned whatever chances I had had to better myself, and I thought that I was failure and would never become anything better than a fat, lonely alcoholic. My mind was a pretty scary place looking back, when I remember the kind of things that I used to think about and all of the intrusive thoughts that I used to have most of the time.
I had a couple more suicide attempts in 2016 and 2017, but was eventually able to get the professional help that would help me to deal with my depression and get rid of 95% of the nasty stuff in my head. Life is not perfect, but I am better equipped to deal with it these days.
Today I found out that I have been accepted into university to do what I have always wanted to do.
The point of this post is that it is possible for you to get better and your situation to improve, even if it appears impossible. You are never beyond help and it is still possible to achieve anything you want.