Shawfield Stallion

Obviously you were too embarrassed to remember to put your hands in your pockets and just wheech them up from the inside

Junior?

The guy across the street from me is washing his fucking car again. Every Tuesday and Saturday the tosser spends at least 5 hours scrubbing down his Honda Civic His life is obviously sufficiently empty to keep this up

I know, right?!

If you listen closely to that new song of theirs you can actually hear the DJ's shaking with withdrawal symptoms if they haven't played it for about 10 minutes. Contrived, derivative garbage that offers absolutely nothing and I wish it would go away. They were signed by that twonk from that horriffic Channel 4 show for unsigned indie bands, which says it all. A real lame attempt at finding the next big British 'stadium' band and with any luck they will sink without trace after this album. And the world's ears will be all the better for it.

I never realised that DB62 has a girlfriend. You'd think he'd post more about it

You should go to the customer service desk/speak to the manager and compliment her on her good service. I usually do it if a young 'un on the checkouts is pleasant enough because it'll give them a boost, but I suppose it'll work equally well on cobwebbed old spinsters

I might be wrong, but thinking back to Higher Chemistry I think it's some sort of ether, hence the 'pun,' ethernet Thigh-slappingly hilarious. Exuberant, permission to chuckle is denied

He was back in the day, but I suppose his advancing years means that he's now more of a millionaire's Makelele

Maybe I don't. Before November last year I'd hardly picked up a book in years before I resolved to start reading again, so I'm not really familiar with the names of any author. As well as the Girl With Thew Dragon Tattoo, since then I've read 'Shogun' and 'King Rat' by Clavell, 'The Road' by McCarthy, Master and Commander by O'Brien, The Rum Diary, and Fear and Loathing by Hunter S Thompson and Slaughterhouse 5 by Vonnegut. I enjoyed some more than others and each had their own merits apart from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, which I just couldn't get into at all Not only is he a better full back than Alves, he's also a better midfielder than Kaka

I'd never even heard of Steig Larsson before I read TGWTDT, so there goes your "dissing it 'cos it's popular" argument. I just think it was a terrible read, and to my memory it's the first book that I've ever refused to finish Very petty of you, HB, to dismiss Slaughterhouse 5 just because you're raging that TGWTBT is rank

I decided to give this book a go after rave reviews from my Dad. To me it was absolute rubbish and read like any other nondescript airport novel. I got about 150 pages into it before I gave up - it was very formulaic and very poorly written, like an Enid Blyton book for grown-ups. Not a good one like a Famous Five though, more a Secret Seven. Just finished reading the classic Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnigut and have moved on to Brilliant Orange - the neurotic genius of Dutch football by David Winner

Yeah, there's been a cull recently and I lost a few hundred posts. Now I'm spamming the board with utter drivel in an attempt to regain my former glory

Just finished reading King Rat by James Clavell, and The Road by Cormac McCarthy King Rat is about the struggles of British, American and Australian troops in a Japanese PoW camp. Typically for a Clavell novel the characters are brilliantly weaved, and the several different plot lines throughout the book kept me captivated. 8/10 The Road was recommended to me, it's had rave reviews and I understand it won the Pullitzer prize a few years ago, but I couldn't really get into it. It's about a father and son who have to travel across post apocalyptic America battling against hunger, thirst and 'bad guys' who are also on the road. It's a very bleak, depressing but tender book, but nothing much happens really. I found it to be quite boring and hard going for long spells. 6.5/10

How are you supposed to find the glyphs to unlock The Truth though? I've completed the main story but I've only collected 3 glyphs, which were all found fortuitously. Are they marked on the map or something Apart from that, I need to find the statues, collect the feathers, wear the Auditore cape and buy art from Florence and Venice to get 1000 G's. I won't bother with those though because I couldn't care less about gamer points, and I can think of better things to do that wandering around looking for feathers or buying paintings

I'm with Milievsky, it's called Jingies. Toss your coins against the wall, and the closest gets to call heads or tails first I played in primary school for 10p and 20p, then it went out of fashion and came back again in 3rd year, where about 15 of us would all pile in and play a £1 game.

I've always wondered that as well.

After I resolved to start reading more books this year, I've just finished reading Shogun by James Clavell. Amazing! It's brilliantly written and really takes you in to 17th century feudal Japan. For the past few days I've been watching TV and cursing the lack of honour of everyone on it

Why is it that when you blow out when you widen your mouth the air is warm, but when you close the gap the air becomes cold?

Rubbish. Inglorious Basterds was a brilliant which re-affirmed the concept of 'fun' or 'enjoyability' that's been ignored in the rush to show conviction in the recent big Hollywood bores. A good story with fantastic performances all round, the soundtrack was spot on as usual, there were smatterings of classic Tarantino dialogue, and great action sequences and production values as well. Not to mention an Oscar winning performance from Christoph Waltz as Hans Landa You're being harsh on District 9 as well. Excellent special effects, and using an unknown cast was a bold move that paid off. I didn't watch it with any expectations, and it is what it is - an enjoyable sci-fi romp

Condolences Never understood how people could be so attached to animals till I got my mutt a few years ago

This probably isn't the place to be if you're short of confidence, you abomination

Ah well, you can thank me for bringing it to your attention Was it Dead Mans Shoes you recommended then?

I don't think I ever thanked you for recommending Buffalo '66 to me. Great film

Depends if he's going to the Union or not