Raith Against The Machine

Any Dunfermline supporting mates, with a retro shirt? Norrie McCathie's definitely bad taste...

Wallace, surely?

Well that all seems great. Something must be wrong, somewhere.

Let's meet up and go on holiday!!

I'm actually friend-less because I'm back in the Bay this week, and pretty much everyone's got exams so they're in their respective University towns studying. Come to think of it, that's probably what I should be doing.

It's possibly sadder that I care enough to not look like a sadact in front of people who don't care enough to go for a pint with me. I'm messed up.

I was about to post something like "Who's up for the pub tomorrow night? I'm desperate for a pint." on Facebook, but there's quite a significant chance that I wouldn't get any replies. Hmm... I seem to have become pathetic at some point.

Nope. We're both squeaky clean. My Dad actually has a ridiculously good driving record. I don't think he's ever been caught speeding, or caused an accident. Certainly not in the last 20 years, anyway. He did reverse the car into a fucking tree the other week though. "I didn't realise it was there!" It's right outside our house, where it has been, for the last 21 years...

Yeah, I will do, once I find out what my new address is! It's not actually that bad, and the fact that I got the car for nothing means I can't really complain. I just enjoy a good rant.

It's getting a bit clichéd to complain about car insurance, but it's not exactly cheap. The car's fucking purple, worth f**k all, and doesn't go fast enough to crash into anything in a meaningful manner. I'm not surprised people get involved in insurance fraud. Got to get your money's worth somehow. Also: "No claims discount protection". If you make a claim, it doesn't count against your NCD, because you've bought protection. But you've made a fucking claim! What kind of profiteering bullshit is that? It's supposed to be an indicator that you're a safe driver, but if you've got a wee bit extra money in every month, it doesn't actually matter, because you'll always have "no claims". I, on the other hand, haven't made any claims in the two years, but don't get a "discount" because I'm not the main driver, or some such nonsense.

I think today perfectly sums up eBay for me. It's both brilliant and terrible. I've bought a new laptop battery, much needed, for cheaper than elsewhere. However, I've also just bought a novelty 8-ball gearknob, for absolutely no reason other than it amused me for about 4 seconds. Just long enough to commit to buy. That's £7 I'll never see again!

You must be shite at aiming - the boy's huge!

iPlayer isn't letting me watch Outnumbered.

And, to go with Dave's new contract, here's an advert for the attention of every SPL manager Dave's Saves Tell you what... that's a fucking goalie.

That is, of course, a different matter altogether. While not ideal, it is excusable. But hacking the butter to bits just for some toast is punishable by margarine!

You know what else is ridiculous? People who seem to use a fucking pickaxe to get the butter out the tub. My flatmate is horrific at this. It looks like Edward Scissorhands has tried to get the butter out with his fingers. What's so difficult about just taking the knife lightly across the surface of the butter, so that you take a very thin layer off the top?

I can't believe the sheer fucking ridiculous things that people get up to behind closed doors. If you don't keep butter and eggs in the fridge, what's in your fridge? Probably someone's spleen and some used condoms, you maniacs!

I see that Hearts have released Ryan Wallace. Wouldn't be surprised to see him rock up at our door.

I frequently cycle between "pal", "bud" and, if I'm feeling particularly incestuous, "neebur".

Orientalated, surely?

McDonald's hash browns are fantastic, and a double means you get a better sausage/egg ratio. People on this website are loonies.

So... Goal of the Season? On pure technical goalscoring brilliance, I'd rank Murray's at number 3, Williamson's at 2 and Casalinuovo's as the very best. Actual "Goal of the Season" though, I think I'd give it to Murray too. As he says himself, it was a massive game, at East End Park, and we were coming off the back of a bad defeat. When you take into account his average is something like one goal every 3 seasons, it really was a special, special goal.

Whaaaaaat? EGGS GO IN THE FRIDGE I suppose you keep your ice cream in the grill and your milk in the loft.

If Jean Claude Van Damme punched himself in the face, could he knock himself out?

Maybe they're just wandering in the front door?