Raith Against The Machine

I bet if more pubs' glasses had flowers on them, less people would drink in pubs. I could solve this country's drink problems in less than a week if Alec Salmond would just reply to my letters.

I'm glad that Keith understands that you cannot be rude to alcohol. Aw, I'm in Monster's sig now. I'm going to regret that. It's fucking true though.

To be perfectly honest, I'll actually be absolutely fine in the morning. (Genuinely! I'll be online so you can all point and laugh at how wrong I am...) I'm just currently drinking out of a glass with flowers on it, and the whisky tastes like fire. Nobody else's whisky tastes like fire!

I've gone and poured myself a lovely glass of whisky when I should really be going to bed. This probably won't end well, but I have to drink it now that it's out of the bottle. It'd be rude otherwise.

I am incredibly drunk. I realise that it's not something to tell P&B, and that drunk people should type something like the following: "i ams drunknhgfa" but I'm not drunk enough to forget how to type like a literate person. Porbably.

Going all the way to Dubai for a souk? If you badger him enough, Kilt'll give you one for a fiver.

If I had the money, I'd probably go out and get leathered today Although, I can't complain, getting a nice day out of the house today anyway

I'm off every day until September the 15th. Sadly

Don't get the dirty one, he did a shit. The scoundrel.

I thought Clarkson was brilliant on the phone, pretending to be his own Dad. "Yes, we're just going to be letting him drive to the shops, you know. Very, very rarely."

I never go to a bus station without golf clubs. Particularly Kirkcaldy.

You're a Fifer. Your Dad can't read.

I'm fairly sure I've been reading about this "8 year old" for at least two years...

The training gear reminds me of the kind of stuff Jimmy Nicholl and co are training in in one of the videos from the mid-nineties, while Chariots of Fire is played in the background.

I think HSF is my generation's Evie.

I'm just quoting so you can't delete this in the morning. Also, nicely done on correcting all the spelling when editing, then making a complete mess of the edit line.

You want to pump HSF. I'm surprised you hadn't noticed.

That'd require me going to Glenrothes for oranges. If I'm bored tomorrow, that might actually happen. My life is so dull at the moment

DB62 wants to pump you. I'm surprised you haven't noticed.

You're actually really selling those oranges to me, and I don't even like oranges. Local market/brand/Tesco?

Apart from the men who work in the Chocolate Cock factory... Christmas bonuses all round!

Rectal wounds?

Will you at least wait until the wee yin's out before you start trying to flog it!?

Those wasps just love bursting that bubble wrap!

It's a b*****d when stuff like that happens. My Mum's doctor phoned the house on Friday when I was the only one in, and she sounded like she had some bad news, after my Mum had had blood tests taken. My Mum couldn't get a hold of the Doctor on the phone until about 4 o'clock today. It turns out she's just lacking iron and doesn't quite have as much blood as she does, but I've had a wee worry at the back of my mind the last few days, that it could be something more serious.