Melanius Mullarkey

Harry Kane should be offered a retrospective 2 match ban for that.

I always thought you were a bit of a danfan.

Pick that out Lord Sugar.

Do they not use image tracking from cameras to measure distance covered? Unless the sports bras are beaming out live data which is highly unlikely.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse.

Father John Pissy more like eh?

Not sure if it’s a spelling typo or just a clever way of saying thick.

Just remembered last night I was living in student halls, packing up ready to leave and the only other person doing so was someone who called themselves throbber.

I’ll probably just pour wax into my ears when I get up then melt it out later in the day.

Cant believe people still listen to anything other than Shaun Keaveny on 6 Music in the mornings. Baffling.

The drop cap font isn’t for me I’m afraid.

Interesting.

Indeed. She has the big wheel fear and is also scared of big ships. Scared of most big things (which is lucky for me I suppose).

Every time we drive past some wind turbines, the missus is convinced it’s going to come apart, trundle towards us and spike through the top of the car. Minter.

Only the ones that pass their exams.

What's the official line the church is taking on this? They're saying that apparently Rangers are not the people.

I once visited an Arcelik shop in Kyrenia. I have no further comment to make on the matter.

If he does, (he won’t, he barely knows how to switch a computer on), then I look forward to returning the abuse by walking along the corridor and shouting the word “c**t” at him.

Quite enjoyed that tbf.

Getting really annoyed with a work colleague along the corridor. Been in to see me a few times today about various shite which is fine. However, he now comes in and stares at my left hand monitor which invariably has my inbox on the screen and starts nosey arsing through it "Oh I see X has emailed you about something, have you responded yet? What is Y emailing you about then?" f**k off you nosey c**t. And whilst you are at it, stop looking at the tabs open on my browser as well. ETA Should put this in the work colleague thread I suppose.

Christ I don't even like* my wife but I still occasionally go out drinking with her.

Calm down and have a drink.

Can see where your fashion sense comes from.