Melanius Mullarkey

The usual then.

What the f**k is going on here?

See the mighty EPL’s Burnley got pumped 3-1. They’ll probably get 2 penalties to send them through though. Cant have a big league team not making the group stages.

Imagine the level of skill a Brazilian has if he has to sign for Inverness.

Have the Ruskis got their visas then?

Mistaken for real life birds.

I see. Fucking anti royalists at it again eh? I would wager any EPL attacker would struggle when confronted by:

Imagine John Souttar playing for Celtic. Hendry and Souttar at the back.

Touchy.

How are Celtic getting....oh sorry, forgot.

Wee Doddsy or the Wallaby shagging Celtic midget imo.

Has he blacked up again yet?

If anything they should be rewarded for squirming. Every little helps.

Not a broad Chapel though.

And there’s you just passed all them exams as well. University of Life m8. That’s where you should have went.

Superfuckingscoreboard eh?

Sounds more feasible than Project Brave tbh.

Because “them” m8.

Current location: Greenock (west coast)

Probably his first meal in 3 years tbf.

Shame that fatty tights is having to stoop this low. Very decent player on his day.

Why?

The most worrying/embarrassing thing about a public fart is surely the volume rather than the smell as it’s quite easy to blame the smell on someone else? I assume fart filters would only filter out the smell unless they let out a quick burst of God Save the Queen when you let a trouser trumpet loose.

Nescafé Azera

Fairly tame tbh I’m sure Fat Sams have a lot worse in their archive. Remember this is the nightclub where a wifie shoved a beer bottle up her chuff in the bogs.