Melanius Mullarkey

So can spiders.

My eyes are fucked. Although ive been a speccy c**t for a few years, going from reading something to looking up at the telly is a nightmare and takes upwards of 3 seconds for things to come into focus. Probably need new gregs to be honest.

Don’t worry. You’ll be getting the pish ripped out of you elsewhere as normal.

Whilst you’ve abandoned your country to live with spiders, snakes and wallabies. Traitor.

Shite state of affairs, Stellam9.

Remember and wear an obscure shitty English team’s fitba top and sit near the front to get yourself noticed. Or get @Div. to commission a special Pie and Bollocks tshirt for you.

Does it have a Facebook page?

Mind that time St jobnstone went in dry against Sevco live on tv in the cup and at 3-0 up with about 20 minutes to go or someauch Paterson was bleating on that Saints should be playing it into the corner. Utter fandan.

^^^following celebrity chefs around to see what he can nick out their fridge.

Interesting.

Shite. Folk talking to the scanner was like thon ATM advert circa 1985. ”Is the manager in”

f**k him. Hes a Tory c**t.

You got a new job as Sugars PR?

Young Dandies off to a Hampden. Bruce Anderson treblesoccergoal brushes Killie aside. https://www.afc.co.uk/report_nostats/report-young-dons-reach-youth-cup-final/

Looks like it’s sunny.

A pumpin-is-comin.

Lochee Dundee FC supporter bus.

4762?

Somebody wants to blow up Tesco? Disgruntled employee maybe? Somebody with Irn Bru withdrawal symptoms?

Awrite, m8. Aye, no bad.

I actually looked up the background to these wee shites and they are modelled on a fictional village based in the UK in the 1950s. There is only one black family (hedgehogs) and a couple of brown ones (chocolate labs and something else) but the rest are essentially white. They should rename it Brexitanian Families.

That's the little stripy fuckers she's got. Seriously considering smearing some catnip onto them in the hope that the cat drags them outside and mauls them on the grass.

That’s quite a week you’ve had, Joey. Wonder what today will bring?

Still, free milk, post here before 12 and parcels are never left out in the rain.