Aim Here

I wish I could say that's the first time we've shipped a goal to Aberdeen a man up. They should just start with ten every time they play us.

Not close.South upper and about 1 or 2 sections empty in both East and West

Never thought I'd see the day Jair Tavares, the most powderpuff pushover in Scottish football,would get a booking for overly violent tackling. We'll turn him into a full Vinnie Jones yet

Division B Table and Fixtures Division B P W D L Pts Basedgodsa1nt 1 1 0 0 3 N5_Spur 1 1 0 0 3 pleslie999 1 1 0 0 3 RBWatson 1 1 0 0 3 redVtop 1 1 0 0 3 Dandies1983 2 1 0 1 3 XCTR94 2 1 0 1 3 markf268 0 0 0 0 0 DieHardDoonhamer 1 0 0 1 0 Dustysghost 1 0 0 1 0 PnbMathematics 1 0 0 1 0 mackieboz 2 0 0 2 0 Round 3 redVtop vs N5_Spur XCTR94 vs RBWatson PnbMathematics vs DieHardDoonhamer mackieboz vs Dandies1983 Dustysghost vs markf268 pleslie999 vs Basedgodsa1nt Round 4 RBWatson vs redVtop N5_Spur vs PnbMathematics Dandies1983 vs XCTR94 DieHardDoonhamer vs Dustysghost Basedgodsa1nt vs mackieboz markf268 vs pleslie999 As usual, results and calculations can be found on the spreadsheet at https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YwODlp2A0TBMf2VuyjJox4ZaiyNKmLk37TH0_HrC-jk/

Division A Table and Fixtures Division A P W D L Pts DearyMe 1 1 0 0 3 AH13STU 0 0 0 0 0 AimHere 0 0 0 0 0 AlbinoRov 0 0 0 0 0 ancientnoise 0 0 0 0 0 Arabjoe 0 0 0 0 0 beef2711 0 0 0 0 0 invergowrie 0 0 0 0 0 stewartmathers 0 0 0 0 0 The_Curmudgeon 0 0 0 0 0 The_kid1433 0 0 0 0 0 KenDeans 1 0 0 1 0 Only one fixture in so far, and, as usual, that means DearyMe is sitting at the top of the table Round 3 invergowrie vs beef2711 KenDeans vs stewartmathers The_Curmudgeon vs Arabjoe DearyMe vs The_kid1433 AH13STU vs AlbinoRov ancientnoise vs AimHere Round 4 stewartmathers vs invergowrie beef2711 vs The_Curmudgeon The_kid1433 vs KenDeans Arabjoe vs AH13STU AimHere vs DearyMe AlbinoRov vs ancientnoise

The algorithm changed a few months back. It used to be that if your move was evaluated by stockfish as a better position after you do it than before, then you got a brilliancy. Nobody on the planet could ever understand why it was brilliant. Nowadays, it's just a sacrificial move that wins if you look 2 or 3 moves ahead. The real truth lies somewhere in between, but getting a machine to figure it out is not easy.

You're one of three. Not even a bonus point, unless unnatural causes kicks in.

While the rest of his game needs a little improvement, Rocky has managed to work out how to brutally hospitalize Old Firm players in the penalty area without even any remote question of infringing any rules whatsoever. This is clearly a challenge for the SFA.

Looks like Nick is quicker on the uptake than Lee. It took Johnson about 3 or 4 drubbings against the arsecheeks before he realised he couldn't treat them like the rest of the league (and even when he worked it out, we get Elie sent off in the first half at Celtic Park and have to be content with dying wi' oor boots on). Monty's sussed this out after only one complete pasting.

Shedding a teardrop right now.

The Pie and Bovril Chess League Season 9 After a bit too much delay, I'm happy to kick off season 9 of the chess league. Because of the usual turnover in players, I've had to reconstruct the league slightly with a couple of Division B players getting an unexpected promotion (It's always a dilemma whether to promote division A players or to give demoted division A players a reprieve in these circumstances; I erred on the side of shaking the leagues up slightly more between seasons, so @arab_joe and @Ken Deans find themselves with a tougher season than anticipated.) The initial league tables are, therefore: Division A P W D L Pts AH13STU 0 0 0 0 0 AimHere 0 0 0 0 0 AlbinoRov 0 0 0 0 0 ancientnoise 0 0 0 0 0 Arabjoe 0 0 0 0 0 beef2711 0 0 0 0 0 DearyMe 0 0 0 0 0 invergowrie 0 0 0 0 0 KenDeans 0 0 0 0 0 stewartmathers 0 0 0 0 0 The_Curmudgeon 0 0 0 0 0 The_kid1433 0 0 0 0 0 Division B P W D L Pts Basedgodsa1nt 0 0 0 0 0 Dandies1983 0 0 0 0 0 DieHardDoonhamer 0 0 0 0 0 Dustysghost 0 0 0 0 0 mackieboz 0 0 0 0 0 markf268 0 0 0 0 0 N5_Spur 0 0 0 0 0 pleslie999 0 0 0 0 0 PnbMathematics 0 0 0 0 0 RBWatson 0 0 0 0 0 redVtop 0 0 0 0 0 XCTR94 0 0 0 0 0 And the initial set of fixtures are: Division A Round 1 invergowrie vs Arabjoe DearyMe vs KenDeans beef2711 vs AlbinoRov ancientnoise vs stewartmathers The_Curmudgeon vs AimHere AH13STU vs The_kid1433 Round 2 KenDeans vs invergowrie Arabjoe vs beef2711 stewartmathers vs DearyMe AlbinoRov vs The_Curmudgeon The_kid1433 vs ancientnoise AimHere vs AH13STU Division B Round 1 redVtop vs DieHardDoonhamer mackieboz vs XCTR94 N5_Spur vs markf268 pleslie999 vs RBWatson PnbMathematics vs Basedgodsa1nt Dustysghost vs Dandies1983 Round 2 XCTR94 vs redVtop DieHardDoonhamer vs N5_Spur RBWatson vs mackieboz markf268 vs PnbMathematics Dandies1983 vs pleslie999 Basedgodsa1nt vs Dustysghost As usual, there are two fixtures every week. These are daily games on chess.com with the 'home' player (the first named player in any given fixture) being white, both players are responsible for firing off the challenge, and you should aim to get these fixtures played and reported back in this thread within about two weeks. I'll update the table and send out the new fixtures weekly. To keep me honest, results and calculations are found on the spreadsheet at https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YwODlp2A0TBMf2VuyjJox4ZaiyNKmLk37TH0_HrC-jk/edit?pli=1#gid=1689487236 Let battle commence!

Not particularly. The numbers are only marginally lower than this point last year, and a fair amount more, in absolute terms, than 2020 and 2021, but that's because there were more players, and hence more picks, in the last couple of years. It wouldn't be out of the question for this to be a record-breaking year, in fact. Year Hits to 16th Oct Total Picks Hit rate (%) Total per year Hit rate (%) 2020 47 520 9.04 65 12.50 2021 43 578 7.44 60 10.38 2022 58 671 8.64 70 10.43 2023 56 687 8.15

We're gonna deep fry yer bratwurst...

A draw is the best possible outcome, though. We get qualified, as well as being in the best chance for also finishing in first place. You should totally take a draw. The problem is more that there's a terrifying window of opportunity between an equalizer being scored and the final whistle when another goal might stave off qualification. I'd be wary of taking the risk.

Oh well. At least we know that McTominay could score in a 0-0 draw.

This is what comes of late night spreadsheeting. Yes, you're right. Also, in my call for previous season returnees, I missed @craigkillie and @invergowrie arab. You guys up for another season of chessing?

Sorry, that was a typo I made in a spreadsheet field. You'll almost certainly be in Division B barring any massive developments.

Season 9 Right, it's about time I got Season 9 in motion. Currently there's twenty signups so about 2 leagues of ten seems about right. If we slot the new signups into Division B, we have Division A DearyMe ancientnoise AimHere pleslie999 RBWatson stewartmathers AlbinoRov beef2711 The_kid1433 Arabjoe (The league reconstruction gives him a reprieve, but last minute signups might drop him back down!) Division B PnbMathematics KenDeans Basedgodsa1nt XCTR94 markf268 mackieboz N5_Spur redVtop @Nutz_the_Squirrel (I'll need your chess.com username if you're still signing up) Dustysghost There's still time for more signups - there are five people from last season who haven't said whether they're signing up - @Curmudgeon @Ziggy @Frank Grimes @Leicesterlichtie and IncomingExile (whose username seems to have vanished into the ether), and anyone new to the Chess League or returning from seasons prior to season 8 are absolutely welcome. Pending any new signups or other last minute changes, I'll generate the fixtures and start the league up in the next few days.

In previous years, car keys and coconuts used to make their way onto the Tynecastle pitch from the away end during an Edinburgh Derby. The creativity of the Hibs Missile Crew was once second to none. Sadly though, that seems to have tailed off in recent years. But not any more. The healing powers of a late Hibs equalizer were in full flow as one disabled Hibs fan recovered the power to walk again and flung his crutches onto the pitch immediately after the equalizer. Keep your eye on the goalmouth during Elie's celebration. Now I'm not saying that Nick Montgomery is the second coming of Jesus or that Elie Youan can cure the lame, but we have clear and unambiguous video evidence that that is, indeed, the case.

Youan is git-that-c**t-aff-the-pitch-now-shocking for 89 minutes of any given Hibs game, and then uses the last 60 seconds to turn the game completely around. Lost count of the number of times he's done that.

Next to nobody dies on a train in a seatbelt-preventable accident.

Rangers died and came back to life to play at Ibrox, why can't the armed forces die and come back to watch them?

That, plus the ugly half of Edinburgh is up in Dingwall this afternoon.