Ebanda's Handyman Services

Some folk that phone my work are dense beyond belief. Me - "I need you to type in www.sky.com, please" Potential Rocket Scientist - "Is that www.sky.com?" Me - "Aye. www.sky.com" PRS - "So that was www.sky.com?" Me - "Please throw the computer and yourself off a high building" * * What I'd like to be able to say.

Wid-Wid-SOO WEE!

Here is a copy of my feed... I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry that folk would wonder if that did actually happen and I did actually let two random guys take away my stuff for 'inspection'.

I hope that you told her in no uncertain terms to f**k off?

I'm considering having this just now. Is there any danger of me skittering my Y-Fronts at work this evening if I consume it just now? Edit: Just finished it. Decent enough tasting pizza but nowhere near as hot as some are making out.

What a dose of shite. I think we should come up with our own scare story and see if we can get it circulated. Any ideas?

Xbox Fifa12 for ProEvo 2012 anyone? Just can't enjoy Fifa the same as I enjoy PES.

Don't see much wrong with that. I'd have no quams introducing each of them to the business end of my banger when completely sober.

He'd wipe the floor with me. The boy is talented.

Fuck up dick? Yo bro, that is sick! Going by your flow If people don't know What they're up to Then they need to get the f**k to? You need to take your own advice boy Before I find you And bend you over like my little sex toy. Sorry folks, just finished watching 8 Mile.

We have one for tonight. Will update later if still alive.

It finally came to me today why I think Reece Donaldson has a familiar face... He's Alex Kidd from the Sega Master system game of the same name. Maybe one for the older ones.

Mine is Andycam8. Have tweeted once advising that I'll probably abandon it as I'm not sure how it works but I'll see how it goes.

Just be a good boy and do what the lovely Kirkcaldy folk tell you to do. If we say "Jump" you ask "How high?" Capiche?!

Johnny and his amazing technicoloured dream troosers.

Bottom left has a wee bit of Cameron Diaz about her.

Ross County - "Jimmy, why do you never compliment me?" Jimmy Calderwood - "I just... I just feel that I could have done better. THERE! That's the truth. Let's face it, you're no Aberdeen, are you?" Ross County - *Uncontrollable sobbing* "Get out, GET OUT! You spend all of my money and then tell me I'm worse than Aberdeen?! I HATE you! I'm going back to Derek Adams!"

He seemed impressed by the way you came in. "Tell us a story I know you're not boring" Sympathies, man. I've lost a good few folk that I grew up with. Feel free to give me a wee PM if you think I can help your frame of mind.

Embarrassing.

This is the kind of stupid question that will get song quotes spoken at you when you get a job.

I can only presume that you don't read back your own posts. Was Walker asking the folk for a fight or was he simply asking them to explain their grievances when it was appropriate to do so? You'll have heard some of the shit levelled at professional footballers. Would you expect to go in to a corner shop, level that amount of abuse at someone and not get some sort of retort? Why should footballers be any different?

Agreed. When I saw him coming down at the end I was hopeful that he was going to draw a line under the whole episode with a wee chat or a handshake. Quite disappointed that it didn't work out like that but never mind.

I can't agree with that, Wardy. Why are footballers expected to take any old verbal abuse that comes their way without some form of comeback? If folk are big enough to dish it out then they should be big enough to take some back. Sure as hell if it was me telling Walker that I though he was playing rubbish etc and he came back with some retort about me being a gawkit looking lanky c**t I'd probably gain a wee bit more respect for him. Why do grown men become all precious at the football? I'd love it if Steve Kean told the vocal Blackburn supporters to get to f**k as well.

He's kept himself match fit in Argentina apparently. I think McGlynn will use him from the bench anyway.