Ebanda's Handyman Services

The bit in the Band Aid song that goes, "Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you!" has never sat right with me. "Thank God it's those poor African c***s that are dying of starvation and dehydration and not me!" seems a bit selfish.

Rovers Fanzine Would any Raith fans on P&B be interested in contributing to the fanzine? We are aiming for an entertaining, light-hearted sort of read, mostly concentrating on the funny side of supporting Rovers and are looking for people interested in contributing. All ideas considered. Please PM me your contact email address so we can get in touch to learn of your ideas. Cheers, Andy.

Stupid older woman at the ASDA in Dunfermline today. Another car had stopped to let her across so when I saw what was happening I did the same, just a wee bit later. I was nowhere near her but she thought she'd look at me and shake her head anyway. I beeped the horn at her and 'remonstrated' and she looked a wee bit shocked. Old folk are worse than young ones. They think that they own the fucking place when in reality they are just pishy smelling pains in the fucking arse. Should have run the old cow down and put her out of her granny panted misery.

I was thinking sterilised but your suggestion is better.

A wee thing I'm working on for the potential fanzine... Raith v Morton Scottish Cup rnd 4 To the tune of The Snowman... We're heading to the ground We're looking at the cloud filled sky We’re playing Morton in… a Scottish fourth round tie We get in to Stark’s Park I head to the toilet for a pish A win against the ‘Ton Remains my solemn wish All across the world Raith supporters wait with baited breath To miss out on the fifth round Is a fate worse than death Supporters gaze Open mouthed Taken byyyy surprise The Rovers are 4-0 up No-one believes their eyes! We're walking on the air We're in the hat with some big teams The three loanee Jambos Were the answer to our dreams! Suddenly Thoughts will turn To a big monnney tie If we draw The Hoops or Gers We’ll beee onnn Sky! We're floating out the ground We're all heading to the pub We’re all talking of the next Team we’re gonny gub!

^^^ Skives work when there's one inch of snow on the ground.

I look forward to a bit of snow as the *kids love going sledging, building snowmen and igloos etc. I still get in to my work and get double time for making it in some times. The snow doesn't f**k everything up. The British public's unwillingness to actually go out when there is a wee bit of snow on the ground fucks everything up. *Me.

She's a beauty!

That'd have been funny enough with him sitting at the tree but the, "Why me?" completed the brilliance.

Save your pics as .jpg too.

Click 'Add Reply', underneath the text box click 'Browse', find your pic and then click 'Attach to file'.

The Weather channel had Kirkcaldy scheduled for some snow this coming Sunday but they've changed their mind. Think I'll stick to looking out the window for my weather forecast.

Tam Cowan and Jim Jefferies were my favourites. Saw this linked to the above video... Very good!

I once took a fat, ugly girl on a 'date' around a dark Bevvy Park after meeting her off the bus. Had pulled her at the weekend when I was wearing beer goggles and couldn't remember what she looked like.

I avoided the Barbie style 4x4. Only because the wife hated it. I thought it was cool.

There was an old woman in the last Face of Fife(?) competition in the FFP. She could quite easily have won it if readers had a sense of humour and voted in their masses for her. That'd have been brilliant.

I de-activated my FB as certain folk were getting on my nerves. Think all of the sanctimonious shite about the two minutes silence on 11/11 was the final straw. Don't miss it one bit.

I'm getting fed up of the whole fundraising effort. Everyone is full of good ideas but most have no will to implement those good ideas. When ideas are implemented the apathy is unreal. I'm getting to the stage where I'm seriously weighing up time spent with my family against time spent setting up fundraising events that not many people could give a f**k about.

Yet people seem to say so much more when hidden behind their usernames. Strange, that.

Talking of which, have you seen the new Thundercats? Lion-O doesn't even do the Thunder Thunder Thundercats Hoooooo thing when he's going to use his sword. Wassat a' aboot?! Pretty good besides that.

Best Simpsons episode ever!

I don't think it's that we are willingly letting them go, Michael. I think it's a case of the young players being propositioned by teams and said teams having to compensate us for our input into their development. Could be mistaken though.

Nice to see that she's taking part in Movember though.